The Opeth joke thread

[rissy]

Knock Knock
Whos's there?
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The best joke in this thread.

 

[Arnold Layne]

Nah Punk is the best joke in this thread

Pink Floyds Animals owns every punk album ever, 10x the anger 10x the hate and it was written by a band punk was trying to erradicate, what fucking joke.

 

[Profanity]

"Doctor Doctor, I've been listening to Opeth a lot recently and I feel i've become addicted."

"ok, i'll prescribe you some opium"

 

[Profanity]

you're not even telling jokes, you're telling horrific puns

The majority of British humour is based on pragmatics.

 

[Profanity]

speaking of racism, what do you call a black guy in a suit?

the defendant LMAO!

How is that joke related to Opeth?

 

[deliverance]

How is that joke related to Opeth?

...he fucking said "speaking of racism."
half of opeth jokes are racist.

 

[Profanity]

That's the only thing I don't like about them.

 

[Brains for breakfast]

Wich of the guys are racist? The pretty reliable Norwegians, or the dirty fucking Mexican?

 

[TehLeperAffinity]

That's the only thing I don't like about them.

Shut up you dirty mexican.

 

[Profanity]

I'm a posh Mancunian.

 

[Heavenscent]

Mikael: Hey, doc, whenever I play my guitar, I have an epiphany.

Doctor: Why don't you get a real Gibson, you cheap ass motherfucker?!?!?

 

[Saber Rider]

^

Read and learn, Profanity.

 

[Profanity]

All my jokes pwned that one.

 

[Hieronimus]

Let me think about that for a sec or two...


NO.

 

[Brains for breakfast]

Mikael: Hey, doc, whenever I play my guitar, I have an epiphany.

Doctor: Why don't you get a real Gibson, you cheap ass motherfucker?!?!?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG ROFLOL BEST JOKE!

what's an epiphany?

 

[Profanity]

look it up lazyass.

 

[Profanity]

On their way to an Opeth concert a man and his girlfriend were driving in the country.

Their car crashed and the man got stuck. He couldn't move any part of his body, so his girlfriend knew she had to get some help. She ripped her clothes off as she forced her way out of the seat. Before she went to get some help she had to cover up her private parts so took her boyfriends shoe to cover up her fanny with.

After walking around for hours she finally found a farmhouse while still holding the shoe over her fanny. She knocked on the door and when the farmer answered she said "help! my boyfriend's stuck" to which the farmer replied "you'll have difficulty getting him out of there".



Surely that's the best joke yet?

 

[burton]

Too bad it has pretty much NOTHING to do with Opeth.

 

[Profanity]

Did you not read the first sentence?

 

[burton]

Yes, I did. That's why I said "pretty much." You just threw that sentence in there to make it fit the criteria for the thread.