The return of the "How are you today?" thread

I was 14 when i went to my first show alone.It was Eyesburn, reggae/hardcore band.It was great cause i went alone for the first time,it was so new and exciting.I miss that feeling.
 
Well that can fuck off, they've just replaced the actual name of what a cheque is with a word that means an entirely different thing.
 
Check is something you do when you think you might have cancerous testicals.




Cheque is something you pay with (which is now becoming more and more obselete in the UK). No if's, no but's, no maybe's.
 
well christ i live in america we make a debauchery of everything




Granted, but sounding like the victim doesnt help. You just move closer and closer to a stereotype without putting in a fight to make yourselves seem better than you actually are.



Sure, examples such as "programme" has two completely unnecessary letters tacked onto the end, but thats the way its spelt. Welcome to the magic of language.
 
Aw, come on, english spelling sucks wherever. It's gotta be the one language currently in use with the most difference between speech and writing :p