The (Un)official Royal Carnage forum picture page

[dorian gray]

Camden is the most underrated of all the horrible cities

 

[lurch70]

i have a friend who is a pretty high ranking cop in Camden.
SHE is about 5'2" and 100 lbs wet ... the chick can kick my ass though.

i heard some stories of bad things in that town ...

 

[ChaosLee]

you've asked her to kick your ass, too, amirite?

 

[lurch70]

yeah but she was pregnant at the time.

 

[dorian gray]

she did it anyway, amirite?

 

[Krilons Resa]

I think I lol'd at every section

worse than detroit hahahaha

That's the one I actually LOL'ed at.

 

[MFJ]

the most hilarious thing about that jersey map is that its totally fucking accurate. my girlfriend's parents live in the section entitled "well-to-do conservatives" and they are MOST DEFINITELY that

 

[dorian gray]

sad black people

 

[Reign in Acai]

you've asked her to kick your ass, too, amirite?

Euphemistically speaking, he offered to show her around NYC for 2 hours.


When I was a snot nosed milk sop of 16 (probably 17, but too abashed to admit as such), I had the sincerest notion of moving to New Jersey to carry forth a hot and heated internet love affair that I had conspired with a jewel of a "gueed". Linden New Jersey was the locale, if memory serves correct. I was her aol innamorato, and she was my bloom of betterment. A 3,000 mile wish upon a star, falsely made tangible in my adolescent mind by a keystroke of poetic pang. She ate up my coquetry faster than Krig would an apple fritter, and what started as innocent dalliance to past the hours of teen monotony, soon spiraled in to sincere emotions on both ends. I was as pure as the driven snow at the time, as was she, so she claimed. Two innocent kids, ignorant to the notion that all dreams some day die. 8 hour AOL chat sessions, turned in to long distance phone calls, which eventually escalated to the purchase of a $200 necklace which I air mailed to her residence as a testament of my naivety and pure intention. For that good month, this lass from waste water New Jersey was going to be Mrs. Acai. I had it all planned out in my head. I was going to pack everything in my 88 Nissan Pulsar and head East to where my heart fluttered like a raven head first in to a squall. To make a long story short, the bint let me down gently some time later. Rightfully so, as this was all a mummer's farce for which my eyes were blind. Nevertheless, it was a gash to my being, and the second occurrence of romantic humiliation I had known up to that time. So I did what any self respecting kid would do. I made a fake AOL account, and began to cyber stalk her for a brief period. I reconnoitered and surveyed until I could feel the right moment in my breast. It was at this juncture, that I engaged and solicited her under the guise of a buxom blond. A lengthy dialogue, lined by a light sexual interrogation, made me privy that this self proclaimed "virgin", was in all actuality a trollop of the lowest, or shall I say "blowest" order. A dozen partners to date, half of which were women. I was floored by the betrayal, leveled by the lies. To cope, I immediately called the slattern out, removed my 56k veil, and gave her a textual lambasting unrivaled by any pyonggang her nether lips ever had the indecency to submit to. In short, Fuck New Jersey!

 

[dorian gray]

removed my 56k veil hahahahahahahahahaha

 

[~Neurotica]

$200 necklace?..
hey Jerry, does my AOL name under my avatar appear for you? Just checking, had lil troubles with that thing lately.

 

[lurch70]

hahhahh .... yeah, Jerry, does it?

 

[dorian gray]

 

[Reign in Acai]

Ironically, the slattern ended up moving to California to study fashion design. Twas a little awkward when I proposed to drive out there out of blind heartfelt devotion, and she retorted with "hmmm we need to talk." Though I don't doubt she held some strong cyber feelings for those initial two months when our IMing was hot and heavy. If you think I can spew a bunch bile and bullshit, ye friends should read my poetic meanderings. I once wrote a Cyrano de Bergerac poem to a girl my bud was enamored with, made her fucking weep as if her dog was just ran over by a semi. Unfortunately, that was the only wetness he ever received from those tender nothings. We got our comeuppance months later when she needed a ride to a party in the valley. I agreed to drive her, but only under the pretext that she would flash her tittays before my buddy and I. The agreed time frame being 5 seconds. 3 rounds of visual humiliation and penile rousting earned her transit to her destination, where she in all probability gave it up to some popular type who wouldn't remember her name a year from then. Ahhhh adolescence, what a time.

 

[Ellestin]

hails piktarz

Berlin and Prague, too lazy to post comments, ask if interested. One of the best weeks I had.

 

[Hell Mike]

this is me trying to cram down a burger

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

10 yr Ardbeg

 

[dorian gray]

 

[lurch70]

it's like 4 Franks ...

 

[dorian gray]

that's what I was thinking