Xorv
Drug the Priest
can either zeph or gari explain why you've come to that conclusion? Are you blatantly denying your desires or is there something deeper going on here?
The Whining and Bitching Thread
- Thread starter waif
- Start date
can either zeph or gari explain why you've come to that conclusion? Are you blatantly denying your desires or is there something deeper going on here?
Xorv
Drug the Priest
*sigh* well since you're so nice and I feel I have to share with someone. I saw her today holding hands with another guy, she didn't see me though. When I saw her I never felt such emotional torment in my life before. A flood of agony as if my immediate diagnosis was death. Sure, I've been with plenty of other girls, and have been rejected and have rejected. But for some reason, I've never dealt with such blatant denial in my life. Such obvious disgust by someone who I thought different of. No care to even tell me otherwise just shun me and tell me in a subtle way, "I've found a stronger man". At least other girls I've been with had the decency to tell me something is wrong, and even end the whole ordeal properly.
I realized my faults with her today, and with beautiful women in general. It's a mental attitude that I have perceived for awhile now. As the poster before me (russ I think his name is) describes his relationship as mere luck. This in some form or another is what I did. I never looked at her and thought of myself as the prize, that I gained her by my looks, charm, skills, whatever. I just sat back in horror and at some points in disbelief that such a beauty would fancy me. That in turn showed my insecurities to her as as I feared of losing her. Stupidly not realizing to capitalize on my success. I never really acted myself around her. Showing regret if she disliked my true personality, and that in turn is what did me in. In the end tho, I became her girlfriend and drooled over her beauty and never looked at myself the same way (no pun intended)I can read women like a book sometimes (body language) and there was more to this than just distance. Women aren't going to wait for you to pull yourself together, they're not going to sit around till you get over your hesitation to break the ice. This is where the fact of the alpha male comes into play. It's not so much what you do, but more importantly how you think.
Flamers: "MAN THE BALLISTAS MEN! THIS MAN IS SPEAKING NONSENSE, DAMN TROLL."
V.V.V.V.V.
Houses Ov Mercury
I'm sorry man. That sucks.
As for me, I guess things are going maybe a bit better? I got some good signs today, some small actions this chick did that let me know she isn't playing me and which reaffirm my suspicion that she just kind of sucks at this. First of all, after class today she waited out in the hall for me even though I know she got my slightly vitriolic text message about her being a douchenozzle to me. She brought it up for a split second but I kind of changed the subject so we wouldn't dwell on it. After all, I felt that by then my point was made. So we hung out for a while and got lunch together which she invited me to do. Another good sign.
Took the bus with her to the other campus where she kind of randomly told me that she has a really good guy friend who is sometimes her "friend with benefits" which, while kind of...weird and a sort of TMI thing to say, I'm glad she came up front about. I mean, that's not attractive but it's a good indication that she is willing to come clean instead of keep potentially relationship-damaging things secrets until the unlucky find out. I also think that if I had a willing female friend who consented and was as bored as I am and I wasn't involved with anyone, I would also do the same thing as her, so I felt a little better after I put it into perspective.
After I got there I did some shit I had to do then waited for my friend to drive me home. Before he did, the chick came by where I was and sat with me for a few minutes and almost fell asleep on me. I found this kind of nice tbh; it was unexpected and it didn't feel like she was being disingenuous or anything. I was pleased in all.
During work I decided on my break I'd buy her something from Dunkins and bring it to her since as I told her, I couldn't visit my ex on breaks since she lives two states away
lol and she thought this was cute allegedly. I refused to accept her payment out of principle, obviously.
The one thing I've really decided about her is that she's really bad at communicating anywhere but face-to-face. I haven't actually talked to her on the phone though, I should get to that some time. She's also not an internet person, so she's never online. Kind of unfortunate but I'll take a chick that lives a 5 min. drive away and who never goes online versus a chick I met online who is always there but lives far as fuck away. I suppose we'll see what happens.
EPIC POST IS EPIC.
As for me, I guess things are going maybe a bit better? I got some good signs today, some small actions this chick did that let me know she isn't playing me and which reaffirm my suspicion that she just kind of sucks at this. First of all, after class today she waited out in the hall for me even though I know she got my slightly vitriolic text message about her being a douchenozzle to me. She brought it up for a split second but I kind of changed the subject so we wouldn't dwell on it. After all, I felt that by then my point was made. So we hung out for a while and got lunch together which she invited me to do. Another good sign.
Took the bus with her to the other campus where she kind of randomly told me that she has a really good guy friend who is sometimes her "friend with benefits" which, while kind of...weird and a sort of TMI thing to say, I'm glad she came up front about. I mean, that's not attractive but it's a good indication that she is willing to come clean instead of keep potentially relationship-damaging things secrets until the unlucky find out. I also think that if I had a willing female friend who consented and was as bored as I am and I wasn't involved with anyone, I would also do the same thing as her, so I felt a little better after I put it into perspective.
After I got there I did some shit I had to do then waited for my friend to drive me home. Before he did, the chick came by where I was and sat with me for a few minutes and almost fell asleep on me. I found this kind of nice tbh; it was unexpected and it didn't feel like she was being disingenuous or anything. I was pleased in all.
During work I decided on my break I'd buy her something from Dunkins and bring it to her since as I told her, I couldn't visit my ex on breaks since she lives two states away
lol and she thought this was cute allegedly. I refused to accept her payment out of principle, obviously.The one thing I've really decided about her is that she's really bad at communicating anywhere but face-to-face. I haven't actually talked to her on the phone though, I should get to that some time. She's also not an internet person, so she's never online. Kind of unfortunate but I'll take a chick that lives a 5 min. drive away and who never goes online versus a chick I met online who is always there but lives far as fuck away. I suppose we'll see what happens.
EPIC POST IS EPIC.
That's a shame. It goes back to some of the stuff that I talked about earlier, so hopefully it will be helpful to you although your situation is currently a dire one. I'm sorry to hear about it, but I'll be glad if I was able to help you with future romances.
Xorv
Drug the Priest
Nahhh I've gotten over her. I'm starting my quest to have a different outlook on women and life in general. I need to start now by forgetting her and realizing what I've learned.
Orion Crystal Ice
Rider of the Astral Fire
Just read some of this and have a thought or two to that last bigger post.
While I see where you're coming from and agree in some ways, I think that if someone really cared, they would realize that sometimes, since we are human, we often make non-huge mistakes that should be reflected on and taken into consideration especially if they are realized and dealt with the way you seem to be exhibiting. In something serious, there will and should be consistent hurdles from time to time where both of you realize you are likely in error with your actions - this is one of the effects of caring so much, you actually put away a bit of the selfishness for a while and have your eyes opened to some of your behavior(s) that you may not have otherwise realized. At those points, it is the time to evaluate one another within that caring context and ideally come out stronger, closer, and more honest and dedicated than before, out of acknowledgment, forgiveness, and truer, deeper knowledge about each other. There are some things people do which cannot be overlooked, but your case is something which does deserve a chance and a second look if care is truly there. If the problem really is what you said there, and if you were to present the same thing you just said on the board to her and she returns absolutely no caring favor, I need to be the cynic here and say she is immature, fickle, and probably hasn't hurt the way you are for the reasons you are, otherwise there would be much less of a chance of you getting brushed off. Unfortunately since this other stuff has already come to pass, it seems, I think that if you do go to her that way that exact thing I said will be the outcome. But I also think you should do it anyway, so that you can never say that words were left unsaid, so that you can say you did your best - do your best and nothing less, and the ball is in their court. Communication and honesty are things that are your rights within a relationship - to provide and to be provided with. Add it on to 'being a better man' as well, since that's what it is - growth. She will likely end up being the one who then falls through with what is required. It will still hurt, but the less guilt you have, the better off you will be.
While I see where you're coming from and agree in some ways, I think that if someone really cared, they would realize that sometimes, since we are human, we often make non-huge mistakes that should be reflected on and taken into consideration especially if they are realized and dealt with the way you seem to be exhibiting. In something serious, there will and should be consistent hurdles from time to time where both of you realize you are likely in error with your actions - this is one of the effects of caring so much, you actually put away a bit of the selfishness for a while and have your eyes opened to some of your behavior(s) that you may not have otherwise realized. At those points, it is the time to evaluate one another within that caring context and ideally come out stronger, closer, and more honest and dedicated than before, out of acknowledgment, forgiveness, and truer, deeper knowledge about each other. There are some things people do which cannot be overlooked, but your case is something which does deserve a chance and a second look if care is truly there. If the problem really is what you said there, and if you were to present the same thing you just said on the board to her and she returns absolutely no caring favor, I need to be the cynic here and say she is immature, fickle, and probably hasn't hurt the way you are for the reasons you are, otherwise there would be much less of a chance of you getting brushed off. Unfortunately since this other stuff has already come to pass, it seems, I think that if you do go to her that way that exact thing I said will be the outcome. But I also think you should do it anyway, so that you can never say that words were left unsaid, so that you can say you did your best - do your best and nothing less, and the ball is in their court. Communication and honesty are things that are your rights within a relationship - to provide and to be provided with. Add it on to 'being a better man' as well, since that's what it is - growth. She will likely end up being the one who then falls through with what is required. It will still hurt, but the less guilt you have, the better off you will be.
seedofvengeance
Boosh!
Xorv
Drug the Priest
I have her for class for the rest of the semester, (here comes the awkward silence) and basically you're saying to confront her and speak everything that's on my mind without the hesitation I presented in the past? That is what I intend to capitalize on as this is the begging of my journey to my new way of thinking and being. I have a strong feeling though she is the immature, fickle, high expectations bitch just looking for penis and a good time. This is what I strongly feel she wanted from me, considering we would have gone all the way if there weren't kids running around the house as we both laid on the bed kissing and holding one another. I also distinctly remember her saying, "I usually date older guys" and we're about 8-9 months apart.
cyth
intothetrees
Jack Frober's girlfriend.
Complaining for today; So my bandmate and I have been chilling out a lot lately, and he admitted to liking me, but he hasn't asked me out because he(and i) are unsure of what will happen to the band if we went out... So now we both know we like each other but we don't know what to do. Whether we should just go for it, or completely abandon the idea of dating for the entire band's sake. Aaaand he's been writing songs about me (without me aware of it), then I'll ask him if he's written any more music and he'll play them for me. Gosshhhhhh it's got me hooked. And now because I know exactly what he's thinking through his music, I feel so sad to know that he's so lost within his feelings for me but he's scared to ruin a tight friendship! Not to mention that I like him a lot as well so now we're both completely lost.
panzerfaust666
German Asshole
in my first band, my best friend and the female Keyboardist started fucking, and it turned ugly.broke the band up in the end.
MasterOLightning
Optimator
Belligerent
Greekus Urungus
seedofvengeance
Boosh!
Eh, fuck him. Your band probably isn't the next big metal band, and a prime directive for being in a band is to get laid. So why not just cut the middle man and fuck the band? No extra work, and significantly less chance for herpes. Win-win... and if you can keep the band together then all is good.
Xorv
Drug the Priest
what is it about instruments that sends endorphins to the brain and blood to fill the genitals?
False Joe
Who cares.
Einherjar86
Active Member
V.V.V.V.V.
Houses Ov Mercury
False Joe
Who cares.
