The Whining and Bitching Thread

[cannibal corpse]

my teeth fucking hurt

 

[The Ozzman]

I did not get the job I wanted. Fuck unemployment.

 

[-CC-]

Probably doesn't help my voicemail is "Hey, this is Joe. I either can't get to the phone right now, or I'm screening your calls. Start getting paranoid after the beep".
Apparently it actually worked on a few of my mates

Oh no another voicemail prankster

Will never forget the day I called a good friend and I had half a conversation with him before realizing that it was voicemail, it was set to something like this

Hey! [pause] Watsup? [pause] Wait, wait can you hold for a second [pause] Yeah ok I'm back now what did you say? [Pause] BEEEEEEP

 

[BlackMetalWhiteGuy]

Last semester, a few of my friends left messages that they enjoyed my voice mail greeting and it confused me because I didn't remember having one. Then someone finally said something more specific about it to me in person a couple months ago and I remembered that I created it while I was really bored at work one day about two years ago. I think it's something like "hey, this is Matt Tabor's voice mail. You can leave a message if you want to and uh... I'll get back to you if I want to."

 

[Vimana]

My voice mail is something like "duuuuude, I just had the worst fucking night" and it pisses people off. To be fair I created it months ago and I'm still too lazy to change it.

 

[arg]

no joe dont listen to them. spill your guts. expose your penis. she wants it.

 

[Einherjar86]

Drop everything you have and go for it, man.

Anyway, I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow. God, I wish I had cancer.

Dude, the gas is amazing. Just enjoy it while it's legal.

 

[The Ozzman]

I didn't get any NO. I was just put the fuck out with some anesthesia when I had mine out. That was most likely because I had to have all four taken out

 

[Einherjar86]

So did I. I had gas and anesthesia.

 

[Satanstoenail]

It's currently raining on my freshly washed car.

 

[Vimana]

I seriously thought that said "it's raining inside my car" and I thought I was having one of those dreams where I browsed the internet again.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

 

[Eligos]

I wish I had cancer.

 

[False Joe]

Only funny first time.

I wish I had cancer is not a meme.

Milhouse is.

 

[The Ozzman]

HEY JOE, IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT RALPH WIGGUM IS THE BEST SIMPSONS CHARACTER OF ALL TIME

 

[Vimana]

So no second job for me. Gotta keep doing more looking.

 

[BlackMetalWhiteGuy]

My car has been gradually working less and less well recently and needed to be jump started twice last week. There's also been a squealing noise coming from the engine and the alternator belt appears torn. On Friday, the speedometer and RPM dials didn't work and my headlights were really dim, so on Sunday night, I brought it to the shop around 2 AM. Four and a half hours later, my brother called me in a panic because his car stopped working and spilled coolant all over the road on his way to student teaching and wanted me to come pick him up, because he forgot that my car was in the shop even though he went with me.

 

[ASD]

The new Insomnium was not nearly as good as everyone was making it out to be.

 

[waif]

Probably doesn't help my voicemail is "Hey, this is Joe. I either can't get to the phone right now, or I'm screening your calls. Start getting paranoid after the beep".
Apparently it actually worked on a few of my mates

I'm considering changing my voicemail to this, exactly (name synergy ftw). But I used to have mine as something pretty similar and my mom got my voicemail a few times and got really pissed. Since she pays my phone bill, I changed it.

 

[divine_torture]

My mouth is on FIRE! I got some hot wings, and usually hot wings aren't that hot. I can handle spicy food easily...my gf is friggin' mexican so hot food is a norm. But FUCK these are HAWT.