The Whining and Bitching Thread

[Vimana]

She doesn't want me.

 

[The Ozzman]

You should still give her some table time.

+1

 

[Vimana]

Yesterday a friend and I were sitting on a table. I asked him what time it was and while he was taking his phone out of his pocket I slammed his back onto the table and yelled "table time bitch!"

 

[BlackMetalWhiteGuy]

I am confuzzled. I realized tonight that the girl I'm interested in is completely different from me and that there's no reason to be interested in her, yet I am. Very much. She's kind of drifting through life, going to community college because her parents want her to go to school and majoring in something she has no interest in. So far to my knowledge she has no major interests. There is really no reason for me to be interested in this girl (although she's pretty cute, but that's not it), but I am. This confuses me.

The thing is, I always try to understand why I do what I do. Like, I have whole conversations with myself in my head dissecting everything I do (this sounds kind of intense but I really don't have a whole lot going on at work so yeah), so being unable to make sense of something like this, especially something that's really preoccupying me a lot lately, really sucks.

Actually, her not really being interested in me is a mixed blessing, because if she was my brain would explode from trying to make sense of it.

What exactly is so confusing? Individually distinctive personalities is a fairly recent evolutionary development, and its effect on sexual preference is even more so. For pretty much all of prehistory, most of recorded history and still to many modern men, a woman's personality has not been taken into consideration when judging her reproductive value. Consequently, it shouldn't be that much of a surprise when people are attracted to each other despite having more-or-less incompatible personalities.

 

[waif]

Except that my attraction to her isn't physical in nature (I mean, I am physically attracted to her, but that's not all it is); I genuinely like her, and I can't think of why I should. I wonder if it's that we have so little in common that makes me like her; I had a thought about this earlier and came up with a possible explanation, but I've forgotten it...

As far as reproductive value goes...I've heard some cultures, including Asian ones, view long hair on men as a sign of virility. It would be nice if she shared this view...

 

[divine_torture]

Nothing in common generally creates an attraction. My girl is mexican, listens to rap, watches tennis, etc. We have nearly nothing in common...yet here we are.

 

[waif]

I understand that the phenomenon is widespread, I just wish to understand the underlying cause.

 

[divine_torture]

Want it simple or epic post the shit?

 

[waif]

Epic-post is more likely to be helpful.

 

[divine_torture]

Well, generally speaking, it's a feeling of character flaw. All of those things that someone else is are things that you'd sometimes like to be. Kind of like in "Fight Club". If you're a manly dude, low on emotion, tough guy, etc, you would most likely be happier with someone who is emotional, girly, nice...because it rounds you out.

You won't want someone just like yourself because you are already you, and you need those missing ingredients to make yourself 'whole'. Much like Aristophanes tale in the Symposium. We are looking for our other half, which cannot be found in something exactly like ourselves. The whole 'opposites attract' thing is completely true.

Look at it like a diagram of a person. On the outside is you, whatever it is that makes you you. Personality, looks, etc. Then under that is another layer completely opposite of you. Then under that is your core, which is the same as the outside. Outside and core is you, but there's that middles piece that you really are not, but sometimes need to be. The only way to be that and fill that middle section is with someone opposing your core. Meh...You get that idea.

I decided to go middle ground. Shortly epic post. You're intelligent enough to not have to explain myself more, but if you have questions about these thoughts, that'd be easier.

 

[waif]

No, I completely understand what you're saying. I don't think that's really the whole story, but it's worth thinking about.

 

[divine_torture]

Hell, it's also a challenge. You could easily impress someone like yourself. But let one of us ugly, grungy metal dudes try to impress Scarlett Johansson. Would take some work.

 

[waif]

I don't want a challenge, I want her to like me.

 

[divine_torture]

It's really, really hard for me to explain how to do that. Everyone I know hates how well I can get anyone to like me. It's something I do naturally. It's not 'cause I'm gorgeous, I just always know what to say and when to say it.

 

[cookiecutter]

WAIF you shouldn't analyze it so much and either ask her out if she seems interested or move on if she doesn't.

 

[waif]

It's really, really hard for me to explain how to do that. Everyone I know hates how well I can get anyone to like me. It's something I do naturally. It's not 'cause I'm gorgeous, I just always know what to say and when to say it.

I wasn't really asking for advice...no offense, but I wouldn't generally ask for advice from someone with so many massive problems in his life.

WAIF you shouldn't analyze it so much and either ask her out if she seems interested or move on if she doesn't.

As I explained, I analyze everything I do. I think it's important to understand myself.

 

[divine_torture]

And when you have problems, you'll think back and say "Gee, maybe it wasn't really what I though". Dick.

 

[Eligos]

I respex u and shi, nig

 

[divine_torture]

Meh, I'm shooting for 2500 posts, then I think I'll be done with forum usage. The 2500 is simply OCD of sorts, I suppose.

 

[Eligos]

This is my 2000th post.