The Whining and Bitching Thread
- Thread starter waif
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V.V.V.V.V.
Houses Ov Mercury
She's been in therapy for like 8 years. Her trauma is very deep-seated.
I guess I just wish I could tell when she's being serious and when she is just being triggered and in emotional pain. Well, I can tell the difference, but the things she says when she pushes me away still hurt. I also hate silence, which often happens in these situations. The silence hurts a lot, it makes me wish I could understand how she's feeling because I unfortunately can't be with her whenever I want (no car and she's 45 min from me).
My girlfriend's been through way too much fucking pain in her life for me to inflict more on her, and that's why I try so hard, but it takes a huge mental/emotional toll on me too.
I guess I just wish I could tell when she's being serious and when she is just being triggered and in emotional pain. Well, I can tell the difference, but the things she says when she pushes me away still hurt. I also hate silence, which often happens in these situations. The silence hurts a lot, it makes me wish I could understand how she's feeling because I unfortunately can't be with her whenever I want (no car and she's 45 min from me).
My girlfriend's been through way too much fucking pain in her life for me to inflict more on her, and that's why I try so hard, but it takes a huge mental/emotional toll on me too.
Zephyrus
Tyrants and Slaves
That must be awful for you Andy. I know every time my girlfriend is not in a cheery mood, I get major anxiety all day and it only goes away after we talk about it. Your situation seems much worse. Hope you can hang on.
V.V.V.V.V.
Houses Ov Mercury
Yep, I am the same way. If it doesn't resolve, I get anxious and hurt and find it difficult to focus on basically anything. I think it might actually be evolving into a minor depression because a lot of the time my default reaction is to go back to sleep (tell-tale sign of depression) because nothing else seems "worth it" to me.
In addition, I can't tell her how much she hurts me, because she is very emotionally fragile and that in itself will hurt her pretty badly (for her to know she unconsciously pushes me away as a defense mechanism against her own mind).
In addition, I can't tell her how much she hurts me, because she is very emotionally fragile and that in itself will hurt her pretty badly (for her to know she unconsciously pushes me away as a defense mechanism against her own mind).
Srontgorrth
Member
Yeah same here, when my gf gets in a bad mood for whatever the reason is, and its just ignored, it bothers me to no end and isn't fixed until its talked about. Hardly happens now that I live with her, but when we were 2,000 miles away it was quite a pain.
Krigloch the Furious
Pants full of poo
hopefully tomorrow doesnt suck at work. im gonna be pissed if I wake up late as shit like I've been doing for the past two weeks.
waking up and being in a hurry eats dick
waking up and being in a hurry eats dick
Krow
Garbage Connoisseur
In all honesty, V5, you need to start thinking about yourself and your future with this girl. what's gonna happen if you get someone that emotionally damaged pregnant? is she just gonna pick up and leave one day and never come back? Do you see a way that you'll ever truly be happy with her, truly? I mean... these are the years of your relationship that are supposed to be the fun part. It isnt gonna get any easier.... and if things dont change can you handle it?
You're human. I understand it's hard to look past how much you care for her.. but you know you only have one life to live. Do you want to live it under those conditions?
I'm sure that came off as overly negative and harsh.
You're human. I understand it's hard to look past how much you care for her.. but you know you only have one life to live. Do you want to live it under those conditions?
I'm sure that came off as overly negative and harsh.
zabu of nΩd
Free Insultation
- Feb 9, 2007
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Goddamn that is one shitty situation Andy, sorry to hear. I of course can't offer any really useful advice, but I think Krow is on to something in that a lot of these disappearances of hers don't seem very necessary and if you 'overruled' her on them once or twice it could make things easier on the long run by (a) helping her to get over those panicky moments of hers and (b) reducing the emotional stress on yourself that arises from her distancing herself. Even if imposing yourself once or twice turned out to be a mistake, I can't imagine that it would make her flip shit and end up worse off than she was before.
I hope this advice is actually applicable to your situation, and if so good luck with her!
Cause we're all about getting off on other people's suffering, right? lol
I hope this advice is actually applicable to your situation, and if so good luck with her!
Cause we're all about getting off on other people's suffering, right? lol
rms
Active Member
mutantllama
Active Member
V.V.V.V.V.
Houses Ov Mercury
Fuck, 1 hour delay.
I already took a shower also.
Those always sound better than they really are.
It seems like awesome because you have an extra hour to do what you want, but instead you end up anxiously waiting to go to school/work.
mutantllama
Active Member
All I really did was waste time on here/eat two toasted strudels.
Also, woohoo, no school tomorrow! Fuck yeah, records day!
Also, woohoo, no school tomorrow! Fuck yeah, records day!
SentinelSlain
Suck my joined date.
- Nov 21, 2007
- 10,015
- 153
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Krow
Garbage Connoisseur
BlackMetalWhiteGuy
Manly Man!
MY PS3 has been working perfectly until earlier this month. When I push the PS button while playing a PS3 game, the screen darkens and looks like it's loading the menu, but the loading icon doesn't move and it remains in that state perpetually, unless I push the PS button again to cancel my menu request, or eject the disc manually. The menu still loads without issue on start up, but if I insert of DVD or a PS2 game, it recognizes the disc and exits the menu as if it's going to play it, but then the screen just stays black and nothing happens.
I suspect that it's a glitch in the update that was installed with Assassin's Creed II, since it never happened before then, but I don't have the resources to correct the problem if that's the case. I can't even access PSN to download updates, because I have dial up and the last time I had to call their help line, the wait time was over 20 minutes.
EDIT: And to make matters worse, I suspect that the help center associate's solution will be something like "oh just log on to PSN and download such and such patch oh wow dial up really people still have that?"
I suspect that it's a glitch in the update that was installed with Assassin's Creed II, since it never happened before then, but I don't have the resources to correct the problem if that's the case. I can't even access PSN to download updates, because I have dial up and the last time I had to call their help line, the wait time was over 20 minutes.
EDIT: And to make matters worse, I suspect that the help center associate's solution will be something like "oh just log on to PSN and download such and such patch oh wow dial up really people still have that?"
Vilden
From the holy kingdom of Harmonia
lol
Edit: on a whining and bitching note, why the fuck did I wake up at 06 when I went to bed around 02 and don't have work today. Waste of good sleeping.
Edit: on a whining and bitching note, why the fuck did I wake up at 06 when I went to bed around 02 and don't have work today. Waste of good sleeping.
zabu of nΩd
Free Insultation
- Feb 9, 2007
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I was just talking about what Krow was saying, like going over to see her even if she says she doesn't want you to if you suspect that she doesn't mean what she's saying.
V.V.V.V.V.
Houses Ov Mercury
I can't go over to see her, she lives an hour south of me (around Boston) and I don't have my own car to do that with. The relationship is usually dependent on her to drive, which is unfortunate but usually works pretty well.
Anyway we discussed this yesterday and had a great day apart from the discussion on top of that. This happens a lot though, but I have it on good faith that the discussion we had made a difference. Essentially, she was angry for reasons unrelated to her trauma, and unrelated to me, so she wanted to clear that up first. I told her that pushing me away to "spare me" from her bad feelings is really just destructive and explained why. After that I got her to agree with me that we need to try something else when we get in those kind of moods (cuz I sometimes do too): I told her instead of pushing me away, she can give me a quick phone call, sound understanding and sensitive about it, and just let me know that all is well between us and the source of the bad mood is external to the relationship, and to just mention that either of us want to be alone for a while and we'll be fine in the morning/a few hours. She liked the sound of it and thanked me immensely.
Anyway we discussed this yesterday and had a great day apart from the discussion on top of that. This happens a lot though, but I have it on good faith that the discussion we had made a difference. Essentially, she was angry for reasons unrelated to her trauma, and unrelated to me, so she wanted to clear that up first. I told her that pushing me away to "spare me" from her bad feelings is really just destructive and explained why. After that I got her to agree with me that we need to try something else when we get in those kind of moods (cuz I sometimes do too): I told her instead of pushing me away, she can give me a quick phone call, sound understanding and sensitive about it, and just let me know that all is well between us and the source of the bad mood is external to the relationship, and to just mention that either of us want to be alone for a while and we'll be fine in the morning/a few hours. She liked the sound of it and thanked me immensely.
