Today, in order to qualify as a right-winger, you have to be retarded.
United States Debt
$ 17,676,169,430,242
Debt as % of GDP: 102.21%
So... you a Banana republic yet?
The Whining and Bitching Thread
- Thread starter waif
- Start date
Today, in order to qualify as a right-winger, you have to be retarded.
United States Debt
$ 17,676,169,430,242
Debt as % of GDP: 102.21%
So... you a Banana republic yet?
Cronopio
Glorious Imperator
Headache coming. Not gonna blame this on the jews or Hamas or ISIS or the freemasons or Bill O'Reilly. This is purely YOUR fault.
Matt
Active Member
Onder
Active Member
- Apr 10, 2006
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So a little rant incoming. My dick is kinda sore and swollen because I fucked too much this week. It's like, red around the head and it hurts a little. Basically on thursday I was having a beer with my girl and I planned not going to her place so my dick gets a rest but she had this new black dress that she bought. Basically, a simple tight black dress, pretty short and all and after we had three beers or something she insisted on me going to her place and stuff and I couldn't refuse because oh well, she was pretty persuasive and also fucking irresistible. Like a femme fatale thing. That dress should be illegal etc and make the whole girl illegal while you're at it. Wear a burka or something ffs.
So anyway, went to her place and it turned out she had nothing under the dress and I was like, k, that's pretty much the sexiest thing I've ever witnessed and we fucked for an hour. Didn't help my dick situation. Yesterday we were having some more beers in my neighborhood and once again she invited me to her place but I had to tell her about my hurting dick. And she said we didn't have to fuck if my dick's sore or something. Well I already felt like a faggot because refusing blowjobs from a perfect girl is a waste isn't it. But it had to be done.
The worst thing is that I kinda shat myself a little, in her bed. Just a little amount of liquid shit caused by the beerdrinking, but there's now a stain on her bedsheets. What to do now. I acted like nothing happened but there's a shitstain on my soul too. We had breakfast in bed but it just wasn't the same. I was thinking about pouring my black tea on the sheets to mask the stain but decided not to. I looked around the bedding and there were some other stains but none like this, obviously. So I went home and now my entire psyché is a labyrinth of stained thoughts. She had to notice it after I left.
That's the story of a dirty gypsy and his femme fatale, folks. A classic.
So anyway, went to her place and it turned out she had nothing under the dress and I was like, k, that's pretty much the sexiest thing I've ever witnessed and we fucked for an hour. Didn't help my dick situation. Yesterday we were having some more beers in my neighborhood and once again she invited me to her place but I had to tell her about my hurting dick. And she said we didn't have to fuck if my dick's sore or something. Well I already felt like a faggot because refusing blowjobs from a perfect girl is a waste isn't it. But it had to be done.
The worst thing is that I kinda shat myself a little, in her bed. Just a little amount of liquid shit caused by the beerdrinking, but there's now a stain on her bedsheets. What to do now. I acted like nothing happened but there's a shitstain on my soul too. We had breakfast in bed but it just wasn't the same. I was thinking about pouring my black tea on the sheets to mask the stain but decided not to. I looked around the bedding and there were some other stains but none like this, obviously. So I went home and now my entire psyché is a labyrinth of stained thoughts. She had to notice it after I left.
That's the story of a dirty gypsy and his femme fatale, folks. A classic.
Satanstoenail
My Larpstyle determines my Derpstyle
Onder
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I just don't think this is something I can maintain in a perfect relationship (it has really been perfect so far, in other ways). Imagine her mother asking "so well, how's this boyfriend of yours, this Onder fella" and her going "yeah he's a good guy, always makes me laugh and he's sweet and all, but sometimes he shits in the bed which is kinda inconvenient". And then she would perhaps have a coffee with her friends and they would talk about dicks of their boyfriends as they do, and my girl would go "well the size is alright but it gets swollen like a baby butt, I'm not allowed to touch it most of the time". Her friends would say "oh yeah girl he is definitely a total faggot".
Goddamit.
Goddamit.
Satanstoenail
My Larpstyle determines my Derpstyle
Does she have a dog? You could totally blame it if she does. About the shitting the bed, that is. Probably not so much about the sore dick though.
Onder
Active Member
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I know right. My polish ex had a dog and you could probably unload a truck of shit on the bed and she'd go "cute".
EDIT: She also liked to use the terms "clean shit" and "clean vomit".
SentinelSlain
Suck my joined date.
- Nov 21, 2007
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I'm worried that this girl I'm almost seeing might have a dog. Haha. I don't like unclean animals and people.
Matt
Active Member
Dogs really suck. Especially if you're trying to stay the night because 80% of the time the dog HAS to the sleep on the bed because the motherfucker gets lonely on the floor or some retarded shit.
Onder
Active Member
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unknown
fuck ftagn
unknown
fuck ftagn
Satanstoenail
My Larpstyle determines my Derpstyle
There is a fucking U2 album on my iphone. Apple put it there. This alone is pretty much enough for me to switch to Samsung for my next phone. Never have I felt so technologically violated. Fucking bunch of cunting fuck cunts.
Onder
Active Member
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Haha. I actually intend to listen to that album, but I can't do it now. I promised myself to not add a single track to my library until I listen to every track that's there at least 2 times. I'm doing this because I feel like I don't give enough chance to some albums that I just listen to once. There's a lot of tracks I haven't even heard yet in there. It's going to take me like a month, but I think it's worth it.
Dak
mentat
Apple is a steaming pile of brightly colored, overpriced shit. I have been buying Samsung products for some time now, including phones and tablets, and have had no issues.
Below was pretty much my response to the iPhone 6 reveal:
Einherjar86
Active Member
"Technological violation" has been happening for centuries and will continue to happen in increasing amounts. It's the way of the future. Get used to it.
