I went into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of milk, but I wasn't paying attention and it tastes way richer than it should... because I poured myself a glass of half & half.
On the other hand, I can now employ BMWG's suggestion of treating her like she likes me in the hopes that she'll fall for it. God I hope that works.
And today she changed her mind and gave me the "let's be friends" talk. Fuck my life.
Sorry that didn't work out for you. How exactly did you behave? Without waiting for a reply though, here are some suggestions.
The most important thing is to keep her attention, but to do so in way that doesn't make her feel like her time is being monopolized. Generally, the easiest way to do this is to keep her laughing, but since you said being funny is your strong point, you probably don't have to practice. Here are some funny gestures to implement at your own discretion, though
I find that going way over the top works really well, because not all women appreciate men trying to be smooth, but you're pretty much guaranteed that they appreciate men who are funny. If you're on the shy side it may not work as well for you, but I'm always very direct and apparently charming enough to get away with saying things like "let's make a baby," or when bragging about my sexual prowess; "I'll show you later." Just be sure that they know you're joking and won't feel threatened by those types of comments, so most Asian girls are probably off limits.
However, here are some less racy maneuvers that are usually pretty WIN in my experience.
1) When preparing to go somewhere (walking), say "shall we go?" and offer your arm to her. Not just your hand, your
entire arm. The reasoning behind this is that many women will feel uncomfortable holding hands with a man who they're not actively interested in and consequently will be intimidated by the offer. However, locking arms is such an overly formal and antiquated gesture that most women will appreciate how hilariously out of context it is and accept, although only momentarily. This is a good way to gauge her interest because for starters, it isn't nearly as alienating and uncomfortable if she refuses, but also because you can judge her interest in your based on her follow-up behavior. If she lets go relatively soon afterward, she's probably not interested. However, if she happily clings to your arm and leans into you, then she probably wants to have your babies.
2) When sitting next to her, definitely put your arm around her (judging by her mood of course), but don't try to be sneaky about it and don't be too casual either. Make a spectacle and make it humorous. For example:
You - "Hey, look over there!" *point at something*
Her - "omg, what?" *looking*
You - *put arm behind her*
Yes, it's a TV cliche, but women are stupid for that stuff so go for it. The other cliche of course is to stretch and rest your arm behind her on the rebound. In either case, make sure it's obvious enough that she notices and that she knows it's your intention that she notices. Otherwise, she may not realize you're being silly, and possibly she will become uncomfortable. Once again though, you can roughly judge her interest based upon her reaction. If she doesn't think it's funny, she's not into you; sit next to someone else. If she laughs and later does the same thing to you, she probably wants your babies.
3) "Accidentally," rest your arm on top of hers if the seats in the movie theater have arm rests. Then apologize and if she says it's fine and seems like she might be into you, reply "well in that case" and lightly tickle her knee. Because her legs are below her shoulders, this is more risqué than the previous two moves, so don't try it unless you're confident that she's okay with your forward humor.
4) When things are going well enough that the two of you are comfortable touching each other in a more than "just friends" kind of way but aren't kissing yet, there is a fake kissing technique that is hilarious when it isn't creepy. Huge emphasis though on "when it isn't creepy," so you really need to be confident that you can pull it off without being offensive. This is how it works:
Hold her head in your hands, place your hand over her mouth and then kiss your hand. Obviously you can't just grab her head out of nowhere, you have to build up context first. I'll leave that part to you.
Or you can just lick the side of her face, women don't mind this at all
