Some old white bitch: Do you work here?
Joe (internally): OF COURSE I FUCKING WORK HERE YOU STUPID BITCH
Joe: Yes.
SOWB: Do you know anything about phone cards?
J(i): No, I have an actual phone of my own.
J: Not really.
SOWB: Well, maybe you can help me.
J(i): DID YOU LISTEN TO WHAT I JUST FUCKING SAID YOU DEAF OLD HAG?
J: Okay...
SOWB: I need to call Portugal.
J(i): WELL THEN YOU NEED A FUCKING INTERNATIONAL CALLING CARD, DON'T YOU, YOU INBRED COCKSWINE
J: Sounds like you need an international calling card. We have this one here for $25.
SOWB: No, I don't want to pay that much. I want a cheaper one.
J(i): Actually, that's a reasonable point.
J: Well, it looks like we don't have any cheaper international calling cards except for one for Latin America.
SOWB: Oh, the Spanish speaking countries. Would that do it?
J(i): NO YOU DEFLATED COCK PUPPET, NO IT FUCKING WOULDN'T, BECAUSE PORTUGAL ISN'T IN FUCKING LATIN AMERICA AND THEY DON'T SPEAK FUCKING SPANISH THERE, THEY SPEAK PORTUGUESE, IT'S NOT THAT GOD DAMN HARD, IT'S IN THE NAME OF THE FUCKING COUNTRY
J: No, because Portugal isn't in Latin America, it's in Europe, so you need an international calling card.
SOWB: What about this Domestic Calling Card? Would that do the trick?
J(i): JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IN A CUNTING CHICKEN BASKET, WERE YOU DROPPED AS A BABY? DO YOU KNOW WHAT DOMESTIC FUCKING MEANS?
J: No, because Portugal is another country.
SOWB: Do you think CVS would have what I need?
J(i): I FUCKING HOPE NOT.
J: It's possible.
SOWB: I'll just go there then. Thank you for your help.
J(i): I WOULD GLADLY PUT A PICK-AXE THROUGH YOUR HEAD.
J: Have a nice day.