Which way do you wipe your ass?

[Einherjar86]

No offense dude, but srsly? Internet tough guyness?

I was pointing out an error. Complaining about grammar is far from "internet tough guyness."

And just to tell you guys, the past two pages make you all sound like a bunch of whiny junior high fags.

 

[mutantllama]

You guys are retards.

What would you expect to come up with a thread about wiping your ass?

 

[Lotus-Eater]

Complaining about grammar on a forum makes you sound like a whiny fag.

Mr. Wizard.....

 

[Einherjar86]

Not knowing how to spell makes you look like a kindergartner.

 

[viewerfromnihil]

*reaches for popcorn

 

[cookiecutter]

I stand up completely and I didn't know anyone did something different until recently. It gives complete freedom of movement instead of having to reach between the toilet seat and your ass. If you don't stand up to wipe then you are knuckle-dragger who shouldn't be allowed to breed.

 

[arg]

1. wipe while hovering
2. check tissue, if still shitty, get new tissue
3. repeat from #1 until almost nothing
4. if i wanna be extra clean, poke with pointy finger
5. if available, hose with shower/faucet and soap

 

[Einherjar86]

I stand up completely and I didn't know anyone did something different until recently. It gives complete freedom of movement instead of having to reach between the toilet seat and your ass. If you don't stand up to wipe then you are knuckle-dragger who shouldn't be allowed to breed.

The Shit Nazi! I knew you were out there somewhere.

 

[viewerfromnihil]

i think that people who hover are lazy and are behind the obesity epidemic in america. in other words... COMMUNISTS!!!!

 

[rms]

if you stand wouldn't you have to spread both asscheeks or have your legs really far apart? weird as hell

 

[Lotus-Eater]

Not knowing how to spell makes you look like a kindergartner.

Not a matter of not knowing how to spell.

College girl. Buffalo BLOWS

Typos happen now and again.

 

[cookiecutter]

if you stand wouldn't you have to spread both asscheeks or have your legs really far apart? weird as hell

Umm, no, you just stick it in between the cheeks and wipe.

 

[viewerfromnihil]

if you stand wouldn't you have to spread both asscheeks or have your legs really far apart? weird as hell

i'm 5'11 and weigh 115 pounds so, not really lol

maybe if you have some girth or if you have a huge ass but then you just pull one of your ass cheeks out

 

[Einherjar86]

Buffalo BLOWS

Clearly you've never tried our chicken wings.

 

[Belligerent]

Umm, no, you just stick it in between the cheeks and wipe.

Finally someone sees where i'm coming from.

 

[Cythraul]

I stand up completely when I wipe my ass. Look kids, this is not rocket science. You just stand up and you wipe your fucking ass. Your shit doesn't go anywhere unless you are still shitting as you stand up, which is something you would only do if you're a fucking moron.

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

I stand for maximum power

 

[cookiecutter]

Finally someone sees where i'm coming from.

Exactly. Standing allows for maximum freedom of movement so you can attack the shit from all angles. If you have ass hair you know that it can take some work. It also lets you admire your handiwork.

 

[Xorv]

This one time this girl told me she hadn't shit in like two years.

so I had to pop her ass up on the bed and inspect it meself.

 

[waif]

I'm worried about the people who chose option 3.

I'd feast on some clit, and be like "oh, I'm eating you out. LITERALLY! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!"

I just imagined this. It was pretty funny in my head.

1. wipe while hovering
2. check tissue, if still shitty, get new tissue
3. repeat from #1 until almost nothing

These.
I don't get sticking your finger in your asshole. That's gay.

Exactly. Standing allows for maximum freedom of movement so you can attack the shit from all angles. If you have ass hair you know that it can take some work. It also lets you admire your handiwork.

It gives you less access, actually. While you're squatting/hovering the ass cheeks are sorta spread naturally, giving you more access. I have ass hair and it's never been a problem, just wipe thoroughly. And if you get all proud and admire your clean asshole every time you shit you need help.