Do you like gooseberries?

Do you like them?

  • I do, indeed I do like them.

    Votes: 4 40.0%
  • I think they're fucking annoying.

    Votes: 1 10.0%
  • Never had one. (????)

    Votes: 5 50.0%

  • Total voters
    10

Onder

Active Member
Apr 10, 2006
11,386
2,033
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Some people are scared of death. Some don't like thinking about it because they see people disappearing from their lives. They're used to the fact that someone exists and suddenly the person is gone. Myself I'm fascinated by birth in the very same way. Not only by the disgusting fucking physicality of one person being inside another to then come out all slimey, which is seriously fucked up, but rather by the absence of younger people around me earlier in my life.

Sometimes when I see children running around kicking a ball or throwing a ball I think of myself before they were born and say to myself… to them: "You were NOT, you little bitch! And now you are, you fucking bitch. You're lucky, bitch. Lucky that someone fucked. I mean there's also artificial insemination but I will take the risk and assume your parents just plain fucked." It then kind of comes naturally that I start thinking about people older than me, how they existed before I could even walk or see or feel or touch anything. Before I was even in my mother, seriously what the fuck I was inside my mother. I was made there. Inside my mom.

Anyway. Old people. I used to visit my grans' cottage and there is this garden where my grandfather grew various fruit. I don't think I can even name all the shit that was there, he had amazing carrots for instance. Each fruit in various colors if possible. Really tasty, not like the shit you buy. But there was one peculiar fruit bush you don't see very often. Well I don't, for one. A goosefuckingberry you shitbag.

The bush itself wasn't visually appealing and the fruit didn't look like it wanted to be eaten by some faggot. Slightly covered with some thin something that resembled a very first pubic hair on a little girl. You feel it on your tongue and then you BITE! Splish splosh in your mouth like nothing. What is this? Is this heaven? Tastes like one.

We used to play hide 'n' seek in them gardens and I once overdid it with the old hiding part and I laid down in some tall grass, I laid among frogs and other animals. I watched that surprising fauna with interest but then I noticed that my grandfather was above me, climbing a tree that was just there. At that point I saw his balls because he had shorts and I was directly below. I even saw that phallus of the past.

What then? My position was given away. A gooseberry? Yes. Pubic hair, then a bite, splish splosh madness and it's fucking DONE. And then again! Yes! Pubic hair, bite, splish splosh, pubic hair, bite, splish splosh.

There are two important questions that rise from that story.

- Why do children smell like shit.
- Do you like gooseberries.

I will think about the first, you answer the second. Look at two pictures of gooseberries to help you decide and choose carefully.

DO

YOU

LIKE

GOOSE

BERRIES?


polish-gooseberry-ribes-grossularia.jpg


87e8868d7dc5389f9894d929c36a24e454dcdcf9.jpg
 
My mom has a visual dictionary thing that I would look at all the time as a kid, and these things were featured definitely featured (the stripes always stood out to me), so the last time I had even thought of them was probably 15 years ago. Doubt that they're readily available in the USA.
 
Never had them but the look interesting. Are they sweet? My mom came back from Jamaica, and brought breadfruit that was growing at our house. The "poky" "lumpy" texture reminded me of it a bit.

breadfruit-300128-400-222.jpg
 
Never had them but the look interesting. Are they sweet? My mom came back from Jamaica, and brought breadfruit that was growing at our house. The "poky" "lumpy" texture reminded me of it a bit.

Never had that :(

However, I was working in a tropical glasshouse last month and I brought a fresh papaya back home and god that was good and so delicate. It smelled nice too. They had all kind of other shit too like Litchi that I'm not too crazy about and other shit I've never had. Like Eryobotrea Japonica or different kinds of Annonas and Psidiums. Shitload of variations. Now I don't know the english names of the fruits, only the latin names so here are some pictures.

eryobotrea japonica
Eriobotrya_japonica_frt800.jpg


annona muricata
guanabana.jpg


psidium guajava
3714-psidium_tropical_nectar_guava-560x400.jpg
 
I remember picking them a long time ago in a park I'd forgotten about until you just reminded me. It's near some train tracks.
 
I remember picking them a lot time ago in a park I'd forgotten about until you just reminded me. It's near some train tracks.

When I was a kid I used to ride my bike to some train tracks and wait for the train to go by. Good times.

Then I started drinking.
 
We used to play hide 'n' seek in them gardens and I once overdid it with the old hiding part and I laid down in some tall grass, I laid among frogs and other animals. I watched that surprising fauna with interest but then I noticed that my grandfather was above me, climbing a tree that was just there. At that point I saw his balls because he had shorts and I was directly below. I even saw that phallus of the past.

This whole paragraph is glorious.