Classic UM quotes

[no country for old wainds]

Seen as I haven't posted one of these for a long time and the board needs messages i'll post one of my bus stories. If you're just going to criticise my message then please read no further, turn round and leave my thread but for those who care, here's my story.

I met another bus enthusiast tonight. He turned up 30 minutes late so we got an extremely busy bus. On that bus attractive women were standing around me with their bums and breasts in my face. Whenever I moved a part of my body, I made contact with them. Also on that bus there was an extremely funny man who must have had Touretts with a few other conditions which made him shout with a good range of emoticons and hand movements. We then got on another bus in which a gang of youths got on. After we got off a chav felt my bottom and said something like "sexy bum mate". I stopped still and stared at him. His girlfriend soon moved him away but he looked scared. Then finally we got a bus through some rough council estates where I was antagonizing people by staring and doing hand movements. Some groups even ran after the bus or threw objects at it. One gang of yobs even threw some stones at the bus but while they were doing this, my friend fell to sleep. We saw yobs/gangs everywhere behaving antisocially.

These bus rides are proof of how exciting buses can be and how they are much better than tv or a night in the pub. It had everything except maybe I should have tried to use my barging skills. Discuss.

god i was looking for stupid profanity posts for like a minute and came across this

 

[Srontgorrth]

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

I cant bring myself to read it.

 

[Pessimism]

I'm sorry, but I thought Profanity's demeanor and posting style was hilarious.

For Christ's sake, he was the sole user who bogged down the entire board with the sheer amount of posting he did. He deserved a god damn medal. Even after all the thread deletion, the fucker still had... what... 30k posts?

 

[no country for old wainds]

im still not really sure if he was a real person or a totally ingenius shared troll account

 

[Evil?]

I pray to god that he is real and having these experiences often.

 

[Satanstoenail]

Just remembered this gem:

Man does this forum suck now. It's always like this:

Poster X posts a random opinion or comment.

Random poster brings up Meme A

Another poster makes alternate version of Meme A

Third poster gets another try at meme A with limited success as it’s already a pretty boring formula.

Ozzman kills meme A for good

Eligos Tries to be clever

Onder posts a funny tirade in bad English

V.V.V.V.V.

Cookiecutter

Zeph: Trying to be intellectual and at the same time making us aware that he's sexually experienced and compares advantageously to most virgins on this board.

Ozzman mentions oatmeal on rainy days, boats, tourists or latin as it’s really interesting and funny to bring these up whenever Zeph is posting.

V.V.V.V.V. makes sure that people know that he got a text from his girlfriend about sex. He’s still very excited about those as sex is still very much a novelty for him.

False Joe mentions that he had sex now, until this wonderful event repeats itself he’ll be drinking alcohol in the meantime.

JAGEagent writes a long sentence that makes no sense but that’s probably about him being a virgin.

Mort Divine has found the new love of his life, she’s a little old by his standard as she got her first period. But at least she likes cough syrup.

Divine_torture mentions heroin and other hard drugs as he’s proud to be into hard drugs. Shows you how hardcore he really his. He also likes fighting for money and has a good reputation in some random biker bars. I’m sure that will all matter a lot when his house is seized.

Mutantllama is tired, might go to bed.

Krig just took a big shit. Smelled nice.

Mutantllama is half in bed.

Krig just took a big shit again.

Mutantllama is in bed.

Mutantllama woke up.

Ozzman another attempt at random meme that’s been annoying for at least a month.

Krow bought another 6 shirts as they’re a lot more important than music. He has now 239 shirts and 7 cds.

Devesya Chaya posts in some random language because he’s cultural.

Dakryn post about some random retarded theory about the current political situation and make sure that we know that guns are essential for safety.

Dodens post a 10 page rebuttal to prove Darkyn wrong, but Dakryn only focuses on random lines that he takes out of context to argue with Dodens for the next 6 pages in the thread.

Krig posts some NRA propaganda or random news that shows you how guns are great and make sure to complain about liberals probably while taking a shit.

Apeofgod666 pops out of nowhere to make his discontent heard about missing forums for the crappy bands he likes.

Ben_t reads all this crap and wonder why he still comes here after all this time. He’ll be back in the future though when work gets quiet in order to read the same crap over again.

 

[Chanakya]

Someone should dig up the post that was written by [I think] Ben_t about the UM stereotypes, though I think that was lost with the old Social Thread.

EDIT: WTF?! STN posted that.

 

[damnromulans]

hahahahahaha

good reading here. Dodens fascinates me, I ain't gonna lie.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Randomly cutting taxes like fucking retards and randomly throwing money at people like retards = SAME FUCKING THING AND NEITHER WORK, SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID FUCKING my pals. WE NEED A NEW FUCKING PLAN. THROW OUT THIS FUCKING BROKEN SYSTEM. FUCK YOU, FUCK GOD, FUCK AMERICA.

.

 

[Chanakya]

.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/nygdtzvtztr/dodens.wav

 

[zabu of nΩd]

^ My pleasure.

Tbh I have an unhealthy number of quotes saved up from over the years. Pain in the ass to get them 'requotified' though.

Here's my first issue -- August to October 2007:

Lead singer of Priest is gay imo

We all know that.

Who cares?

*joke*

*your head*

Pee doesn't actually come out of the vagina, just so you know.

You are a REALLY mean person.

And you're fucking gay.

lol, hell all i ever do is sit around and think.
and people think metalheads are dumb lol

You know sus, you really should stop complaining about the roles of women and so called derogatory titles they're given. From my own experiences, men are worse off than women, because women can get away with making fun of men.

I was ridiculed constantly by other women growing up (just like many others on this board no doubt), and I'll never forget the horrible things they would call me. Is it my fault that they stare at the bulge and treat me like meat? Why can't women treat me like a man instead of calling me speedstick, THE cucumber JUMBLER, or pippy schlong stockings?


WHY ARE MEN TREATED LIKE SUCH SHIT AND LOOKED DOWN UPON!?

The internet is serious business, indeed.

Why are you so humorously stupid as to actually think that everyone on the internet is really the same both on and off? I'm "condescending" only because it amuses me, and because I've been here long enough to be able to get away with it. You would too if you've been here as long as I have amongst people that are as stupid as those here. But you wouldn't know that my behavior here is unique with respect to my general disposition, because you only need to know enough about somebody to make a snap judgment. It doesn't matter whether or not whatever I'm saying is blatantly insincere, as long as the actual denotation of the words typed amounts to something condescending, right?

High five for knowing me so well and observing my behavior on what is essentially a playground and assuming that that defines me entirely, and then be so hilariously small-minded enough as to associate that with a common theme that resonates throughout an entire state. Yes indeed, it is true. You've found us out. New Jersey is just a swelling mass of condescension. It runs in our blood, regardless of whether or not we actually have New Jersey blood. It is so pervasive that it can be felt in the air. Snatch at the sky fast enough and you will find traces of it on your hand.

Please refrain from making such stupid statements in the future.

And please don't take this post so seriously, as you evidently take all of my other posts to heart.

Ironically, that post is rather condescending

 

[Evil?]

Hahah vihris-gari, rememeber when we had that chart about Pessimism's post? Let me go find it in photobucket...

Here it is!

 

[Dak]

 

[mutantllama]

Blue_Jay was worse than Tom Brady.

 

[Evil?]

I think maybe this thread should include "Classic UM Photoshops", or maybe that should be its own thread. Digging into my photobucket unveiled classics like the "Two Metal Old Men" and "Dave-Dog/Jofa-Dog".

 

[Pessimism]

Hahah vihris-gari, rememeber when we had that chart about Pessimism's post? Let me go find it in photobucket...

Here it is!

You know you want to print out my post(s), go to the local church, and insert my saying into the bibles and singing books.

I don't know how to read the graph, does it go from "not awesome" to "too awesome"?

 

[Dak]

Yeah dude, it totally goes through the floor of "too awesome"

 

[Pessimism]

Clearly 0% refers to "not awesome"; as in, this post is now not "not awesome".

i.e. "not awesome" it is not.

 

[Evil?]

No, the context was "How seriously I took the post as it went on". There was actually a series of graphs, Virus Gravy posted the first one and the one I posted being the final version.