What are the features you look for in a sentimental partner?
Oh my god, after the last one, I just want someone who doesn't have intimacy issues and isn't crazy. But looking at the bigger picture, I want someone with a big heart, creative spirit, wacky sense of humour, kindness and compassion, the ability to understand and forgive, someone who isn't afraid to open up and give himself wholly (hello, intimacy). I like spontaneity, it'd be nice if he weren't afraid to get up and dance. I'm tired of hearing lame excuses, "I'm a guy, I don't dance." He
must have a decent relationship with his mother, or at least be forgiving of her faults even if he chooses not to interact with her daily. Add the list of standard qualities (eg. intelligence, honesty, open-mindedness, etc). Judgemental loners can fuck off.
Assuming that one can't have everything, do you place great stock in moral qualities such as fidelity, ability to withstand adversities etc. at the expense of the degree of passion and affection that the person spontaneously elicits in you?
Yes! It is
so important you pick someone who doesn't crumble at the first obstacle. I want a guy who will stick by me and not bail when things get tough.
Would you rather have only one partner for your life or several? In the latter case, do you think each of them should be a synthesis of what you like or would you prefer to have different people for different seasons of life?
Tough question. I'd love to say, give me the perfect man and I will be happy with him. However, it's necessary (for me) to have several experiences in order to fully understand what I want. For all I know, I met someone who was close to perfect for me but didn't realise it. But people change all the time, so is there really anyone who's perfect for me? Maybe someone who's perfect
at the time?
Why do you think you're attracted to the qualities you're attracted to? Do they fit in your personal history somehow? Do they reflect something that you learnt from/see in your parents? Or opposite to that? Etc.
Trial and error. Heh, obviously there have to be similar qualities. Yet I wouldn't want someone who is exactly like me. Like a friend pointed out, I'd be dating a version of me with a penis and balls (although I must say I have a bigger set than the last one
). Some things I thought were so important to me initially don't matter as much now. It's not so much that I compromised, but that it's unrealistic and unfair to expect so much of someone when I can't deliver the same myself.
