Dark One
The Tainted Dogma
I see where you're coming from Liz, I just don't believe it's a healthy way to deal with things so personal in nature. It's a short-term fix at best that won't really resolve anything over time.
life quality poll
- Thread starter Erik
- Start date
lizard
Member
ah, yes...but some people live life without an eye for the long term, they seek the short term balm.
like nad's friend with the wife and baby and the 6000 a month car payment...because he feels he needs the immediate gratification of the cool wheels, when he's actually got real long term priorities to be thinking about (wife, baby)
I actually also have a buddy like this, wife is pregnant with a 2nd kid, so what does he do, buys a new Mustang, which admittedly looks kick ass but completely impractical for an impending family of four going to the grocery store.
like nad's friend with the wife and baby and the 6000 a month car payment...because he feels he needs the immediate gratification of the cool wheels, when he's actually got real long term priorities to be thinking about (wife, baby)
I actually also have a buddy like this, wife is pregnant with a 2nd kid, so what does he do, buys a new Mustang, which admittedly looks kick ass but completely impractical for an impending family of four going to the grocery store.
Dark One
The Tainted Dogma
Don't get me wrong, I completely understand the mentality (it's definitely "human" to search for the path of least resistance), I just don't think it's healthy.
Susperia
Member
lizard said:
The whole point of me even attempting to discuss this on a messageboard with people I don't know, is mainly because, as I said, I don't have anyone else close enough to talk about it to right now, because of what's happened in the past 5 months. Or at least no one who would understand. I thought maybe someone here would have experience in what I'm going through.
But instead of seeing it as it is, and maybe that's my own fault, they saw it as petty female competition or something. Which it isn't, at all...
And I said that I'm slowly getting over it several times, but that it's a really hard and slow process because of how close I was with this woman, for 10 years of my life. I don't think I explained it well enough, as it's really hard to explain something like this is so few words. I guess I was basically dumped. All the stages and feelings I've gone through are that of a really bad break up. And no matter how many times you just tell me ''get the fuck over it and move on", it doesn't happen just like that..
I also said I dont' think my life is horrible, and that other than the lingering pain of this and a few other things that happened along the way, my life is okay. So I don't really understand why they're saying I'm being immature about it.
Dark One
The Tainted Dogma
Susperia said:
It's not about "getting the fuck over it", no one expects you (or anyone else) to simply do that. It's about not beating a dead horse by continuing to dwell or obsess over it and instead finding ways to bring happiness into your own world that will serve to lessen the impact of whatever it is that you aren't "the fuck over".
Susperia
Member
I see what you mean---
I know what I have to do, but making good friends is not an easy task. At least not for me, as I don't get along with just anyone. And being able to get friends and be as close to them as I was to the others takes years. Just thinking about that is really disheartening.
Don't get me wrong, I have other casual friends, but that isn't the same thing as your good friends that you can bare yourself to and have real fun with and who you really love and who love you back. That takes years of getting to know one another.
I'm willing to do it all over again! But at the same time I can't help but wonder if I'll ever find people like that again.
I know what I have to do, but making good friends is not an easy task. At least not for me, as I don't get along with just anyone. And being able to get friends and be as close to them as I was to the others takes years. Just thinking about that is really disheartening.
Don't get me wrong, I have other casual friends, but that isn't the same thing as your good friends that you can bare yourself to and have real fun with and who you really love and who love you back. That takes years of getting to know one another.
I'm willing to do it all over again! But at the same time I can't help but wonder if I'll ever find people like that again.
lizard
Member
Susperia, may I recommend Ayn Rand....*ducks and covers*
I see what you're saying, you must understand most new arrivals here undergo something of a trial by fire, sometimes the reek of testosterone on this board is palpable
so is this woman you're getting over a former love interest, cause I missed the initial description. I have a unique perspective on the love cycles of the lesbian female, given that a former cubemate of mine was one and we were fairly close. ;-)
as far as "disheartening" goes, you can't allow fear of anything to hinder your life although that's easier said than done. life is short and we get no guarantees, you've got to live each day as if it is your last, cause it could be.
I see what you're saying, you must understand most new arrivals here undergo something of a trial by fire, sometimes the reek of testosterone on this board is palpable
so is this woman you're getting over a former love interest, cause I missed the initial description. I have a unique perspective on the love cycles of the lesbian female, given that a former cubemate of mine was one and we were fairly close. ;-)
as far as "disheartening" goes, you can't allow fear of anything to hinder your life although that's easier said than done. life is short and we get no guarantees, you've got to live each day as if it is your last, cause it could be.
lizard
Member
Conspicuously Absent
Linguistically Confused
lizard
Member
Susperia
Member
lizard said:Susperia, may I recommend Ayn Rand....*ducks and covers*
I see what you're saying, you must understand most new arrivals here undergo something of a trial by fire, sometimes the reek of testosterone on this board is palpable
so is this woman you're getting over a former love interest, cause I missed the initial description. I have a unique perspective on the love cycles of the lesbian female, given that a former cubemate of mine was one and we were fairly close. ;-)
as far as "disheartening" goes, you can't allow fear of anything to hinder your life although that's easier said than done. life is short and we get no guarantees, you've got to live each day as if it is your last, cause it could be.
We weren't lesbians. We were just best friends and loved each other. A lot. I'll send you the initial post I made by PM, since I deleted it. You can read it if you want, if you don't, that's cool too.
I have a question though--- All her things that I have, like stuff we borrowed from each other, cards, notes, pictures (I still see her everytime I open my wallet), clothing -- do i pack that all away, like a normal person does after a break up? This is so weird to me...We have fair amount of each other's things.
And another thing is--- I'm working on a 5 ft painting of her that I started before all this happened. I can't just stop painting it. So I stare at her face every day while painting.
Oh Christ.
lizard
Member
pack up the stuff. you don't need constant reminders. don't throw it away cause you may make up one day. but box it up and put it in the basement. and for god sakes stop staring at that painting
Conspicuously Absent
Linguistically Confused
yeah, put the painting away as well. If you make up you can finish the painting and give it to her and it'll be all "awwws" and hugs. Just don't defile hte painting in a fit of rage 
lizard
Member
I think after reading your PM I have discovered the root of this great discontent...I think if I had to live with a pack of sorority chicks I too would become greatly discomfited.
I regret to say, howe'er, that as the human female is frequently inscrutably unfathomable, I cannot discern your dear friend's peculiar attitude, other than your condemnation of her pregnancy, however fleeting you might have felt that way. Clearly, this may have been a case of words spoken in haste resulting in leisurely repentance. If she deep down knew she was playing with fire, so to speak in having unprotected sex, you may have touched a raw nerve of her guilt, thereby culminating in her having to view herself honestly.
in my next column I will reveal what a horrible faux paux it is to speak with your mouth full at a formal dinner, and how to remove grape stains from a linen blouse.
I regret to say, howe'er, that as the human female is frequently inscrutably unfathomable, I cannot discern your dear friend's peculiar attitude, other than your condemnation of her pregnancy, however fleeting you might have felt that way. Clearly, this may have been a case of words spoken in haste resulting in leisurely repentance. If she deep down knew she was playing with fire, so to speak in having unprotected sex, you may have touched a raw nerve of her guilt, thereby culminating in her having to view herself honestly.
in my next column I will reveal what a horrible faux paux it is to speak with your mouth full at a formal dinner, and how to remove grape stains from a linen blouse.
Krilons Resa
Jerry's married?!
lizard
Member
Pretty crap right now, it was good when I was a baker but then I lost my license and shit got really lame. It should pic up come september/october. I havn't even been in the water for ANYTHING this summer. And that my friends, is ULTRAMEGALAME. God damn now that I think about that little factoid I need to gtf to the beach for some surfing/diving. Waaaaaaaaah.
(I love complaining about stuff that really doesn't matter at all. I guess in the ACTUAL scheme of things my life is pretty damn good =)
Wait, rafting once, but if it's not the ocean it doesn't count.
(I love complaining about stuff that really doesn't matter at all. I guess in the ACTUAL scheme of things my life is pretty damn good =)
Wait, rafting once, but if it's not the ocean it doesn't count.
hmm, life is as good as it can get right now ... with major room for improvement as usual.
a great new girlfriend with which I am planning some things for the near future, although my recent ex (from a few years ago) is making the decision of "giving my all" very scary ... as the old relationship went ot shit after I poured my heart into it. the thing is at my age, i need to move faster than usual at decision making and this is stressing me out a bit.
business is kind of slow, but it usually is in the summer ... have a plan on how to try to step it up but implementing it is a bit difficult ... so more headaches there.
and i need a damn vacation ...
a great new girlfriend with which I am planning some things for the near future, although my recent ex (from a few years ago) is making the decision of "giving my all" very scary ... as the old relationship went ot shit after I poured my heart into it. the thing is at my age, i need to move faster than usual at decision making and this is stressing me out a bit.
business is kind of slow, but it usually is in the summer ... have a plan on how to try to step it up but implementing it is a bit difficult ... so more headaches there.
and i need a damn vacation ...
