life quality poll

[spaffe]

yeah anything and anyone i really care about is back in umeå and school is going shit

BUT

you see even the prospect of moving back to umeå or whatever doesn't excite me... not getting a job, not anything... EVERYTHING just completely fails to move me

I know I'm bit late into this thread, but I felt I needed to reply. What you wrote there is more or less exactly what one of my friends wrote in his suicide letter before he laid down on the train tracks. I don't know if you're having any plans in that direction, but the thing is (and also the thing which makes me write this somewhat out of place post) that none knew that that friend of mine did either; he just did it one day and none could understand why.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying "you shouldn't commit suicide, my friend did that and that was bad!". My point is that he had a low period in his life and just decided to end it all, without talking to anyone about his problems, without (it seems) any serious fighting at all. His passing made me more angry than sad really, since it all seemed as such an easy way out of something that most people seem to experience.
Now I'm not sure if that's a point either... but there you have it. I imagine you're a good guy and it would be sad to loose another one of those.

 

[Erik]

cheers. i'm not going to kill myself tho, i'm pretty sure. heh. it's not actually that bad (YET?!) nah.

 

[spaffe]

Hehe ok, well that's good to hear.
Now I'm heading home, hej svejs

 

[Erik]

ha skojigt!

 

[Nate The Great]

Har skgohihntilj!

 

[MadeInNewJersey]

har de har?

 

[Erik]

bork bork bork, hörden splörden.

 

[cthulufhtagn]

hardly.

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

the swedish chef is a nazi!?!??

 

[MadeInNewJersey]

bork bork bork, hörden splörden.

 

[Erik]

hey i feel like absolute motherfucking shit.

 

[Crimson Velvet]

What's wrong little fella?

And how did the exams go?

 

[Erik]

passed both exams through some fuckin supernatural wonder. ARGH i don't want to whine on the internet. i'm going to find a therapist, for fucking real. someone needs to fucking come here and punch me square in the face if i don't. this cannot fucking go on

 

[Crimson Velvet]

Well, that's great! (the first part) grats, man!

And seriously, you just needs to find some friends. You seem merrily-jolly every time you've been out doing something, whether it was a festival or some crap with mike, but then your mood just degenerates as the days passes... That's my observation, at least, for what that's worth.

 

[Erik]

and it's true as well... set the higher standard and to a greater fall descend

but it's not that fucken easy to find friends when you have no will to do fucking anything except maybe drink to make shit just go away... hohoho i sound like such a god damn attention seeking 14 year old FAGGOT.

i guess why i'm really posting and what i really need is some god damn incentive to actually, if i can accomplish nothing else (which i can't), DO THIS ONE FUCKIN THING and get some god damn help. deron if you're reading this, you may fuckin ban me and remove all my posts if i haven't gotten an appointment with a doctor by to-fucking-morrow

 

[lurch70]

well that is a good thing ... the fact that you made a decision to go talk to someone ... this is the hardest step anyway. that is awesome dude!!!

had a pretty shit week myself, family trouble, mom is down and out with my aunt (her sis) passing last year and being the only son shit is falling on my shoulders ... my stepfather is a good guy, but sometimes is no help with this.
plus I had to deal with my flu and bad business week ...
fuck it ... will try to step it up a bit this coming week.
I really need a chick to kick my ass sometimes ...

 

[Erik]

yeah but a DECISION never matters in my case. i say SO MUCH and do SO LITTLE. this time however this is going to fucking happen, it's gotta happen

sad to hear about all your shit though. i most definitely also need someone to kick my ass, but i have noone really, so eh...

 

[lurch70]

here is something to think about that might help ... you have to get to this point, and I think you are there already, where NOT doing anything is 1000x worse then trying to do this new thing ...
change is innevitable in everyones life ... stop trying to fight it ... all kidding aside.

 

[Nate The Great]

Get a puppy.

I just spent all of last week getting poked and probed all over my body at one of the world's top medical facilities.

BTW, the tests all show that I most likely don't have Crohn's or Ulcerative Colitis, my kidneys are working perfect (despite holding water abnormally), and liver appears to be OK. I spent an entire year being treated by retarded doctors. Telling me I had all these major diseases and complications. Throwing some very serious drugs down my throat.

Now I'm off all serious drugs, I feel much better, and my life expectancy is NORMAL.

I'm pissed at the doctors that made me WORRY MY ASS OFF for an entire year, but I can't really blame them . . . but that's another story. Now, if I could just gain back at least 20 lbs of the 40 lbs I lost in the last few years.

Have you started exercising yet, Erik?

 

[lurch70]

that is great news Nathan!!!

I learned a lot about getting second, third and umpteenth opinions from Lance Armstrongs book of all places ... my family was always into this "family doctor" mentality ... and some of them did not fare too well.