The Shitposting Thread

[Blurry_Dreams]

so this awesome thing happened

Smoking pot before sex can make your orgasms even more intense - Daily Star

 

[Einherjar86]

so this awesome thing happened

Smoking pot before sex can make your orgasms even more intense - Daily Star

In other news, experts advise against sticking your arm into a wood chipper.

For more in our "Shit everyone already knew" series, just pull your head out of your ass.

 

[jimmy101]

Admittedly, you'd probably also find a lot of shit you already knew up your arse. I've found that anuses are veritable gold mines as far as shit is concerned.

 

[Slammed]

When it comes to shit you are definitely a connoisseur

 

[jimmy101]

Ken oath brother. That shit-eating grin you all know & love probably spawned when I was an OCD-laden wee tacker, reading through the world atlas learning about far-flung, exotic shantytowns such as "Hobart" & the mythical "Perth". Though these days I have good reason to believe that these places don't really exist. We we're just imagining them the whole time.

 

[Slammed]

Hobart existed 2 weeks ago when I was there. You weren't around at the time so I understand your confusion, but it was definitely there.

 

[jimmy101]

I have a mate from Tassie who spent Xmas over there recently. When he got back we were having a laugh about the whole Tassie two heads joke. Though he was under the impression that the two-headed Tasmanian thing was to do with being two-faced/multiple personalities, for some reason. Had to tell him, nahh bro.. The joke is that you live on an isolated island & you're all inbred to the point where you've grown second heads. Bit of an eye opener for him I suppose.

After that he told me that Tasmanians joke amongst themselves about mainlanders "and their boats". Had never head this before. Hard to see how it's an insult either. I mean, yeah, we have knowledge on naval travel. But I guess that's all they have to rib us.

 

[Slammed]

I think it's an eye opener for all of them, maybe they are so isolated that the joke hasn't gotten over there yet. My cuz lives over there now days and he keeps claiming that he's only got one head, but lets face it with photoshop it's as easy to remove a head as it is add one.

The sheep shaggers joke aimed at Kiwi's always amused me. It's always been Aussies claiming the Kiwi's are sheep shaggers because of the number of sheep they have. But Australia per capita has more sheep than NZ has ever had. We've got something like 4 sheep for every person, the Kiwi's can't afford to be that fussy. We've also got more wild camels than any other country...but they are too fucking tall, they run faster than sheep and not everybody has visited the outback.

 

[jimmy101]

Yeah I've never ran with that whole Kiwi sheep-shagger thing cause as you said it makes no sense. Much better to piss on them when we beat them at rugby once every five years or so. That shit cuts them deep!

 

[Slammed]

Haha. That's why I prefer League, an Aussie team plays them every week, we've got a chance of beating them several times a year at least

 

[jimmy101]

Can't watch more than a few minutes of League, personally. Have tried to get into it a number of times but just don't like the 5-tackle rule, or the lack of rucking/mauling. Always felt Union was the more pure version of the sport, plus it seems to have more international recognition than RL. On top of that League seems to have this dodginess surrounding it.

Have I ever asked you what AFL team you support? For some reason I'm feeling your a Bombers fan haha.

 

[Slammed]

If I wanted a game with international recognition I'd watch soccer, at least they know what shape a ball is.

I don't know what you're feeling, but as usual it's wrong. I neither watch nor care about AFL, I go out of my way to avoid it. But I have never barracked for Essendon even when I used to play the sport.

 

[jimmy101]

Fair enough. I'm sure you we're a fine centre-half-bench in your prime

I remember you commenting on Frawley's death at the time so figured you watched it.

 

[Slammed]

Fair enough. I'm sure you we're a fine centre-half-bench in your prime

I remember you commenting on Frawley's death at the time so figured you watched it.

Don't project your own failings on me I didn't play sport in the days where everyone got a medal for showing up and parents wrapped their little Jimmy's in bubble wrap

It's hard not to know what AFL is (although I gave up following before it was AFL) and who the big players are, having been born and bred in Victoria. That shit was rammed down out throats for years, everyone had a team, everyone hated Collingwood and every winter parents made their boys run around in shorts while they had chit chats on he side lines despite it being as cold as a witch's tit outside. I've got VFL memorabilia laid on in storage and when my dad used to run the scoreboard at VFL park we went to games every Saturday afternoon. So while I hate the AFL I also know way too much about it for my liking.

 

[jimmy101]

Those U/10 "participation awards" still sit in my trophy cabinet with pride

I'm not a die hard or anything, but yeah, grew up with it also & will usually watch the Granny with a few mates as it's the social thing to do.

 

[CiG]

Don't project your own failings on me I didn't play sport in the days where everyone got a medal for showing up and parents wrapped their little Jimmy's in bubble wrap

It's hard not to know what AFL is (although I gave up following before it was AFL) and who the big players are, having been born and bred in Victoria. That shit was rammed down out throats for years, everyone had a team, everyone hated Collingwood and every winter parents made their boys run around in shorts while they had chit chats on he side lines despite it being as cold as a witch's tit outside. I've got VFL memorabilia laid on in storage and when my dad used to run the scoreboard at VFL park we went to games every Saturday afternoon. So while I hate the AFL I also know way too much about it for my liking.

ok boomer

 

[Slammed]

Those U/10 "participation awards" still sit in my trophy cabinet with pride

I'm not a die hard or anything, but yeah, grew up with it also & will usually watch the Granny with a few mates as it's the social thing to do.

There are plenty of GF's I haven't found out who won until the Monday morning news but generally I find out during the NRL telecast the following day. Even when I was a kid I really didn't follow the sport religiously, there wasn't the games on TV so it was mostly down to the Saturday games. I knew who won and lost every weekend and who was where in the ladder but seeing the games wasn't a priority because we went with Dad and saw whoever was playing the match he was working at not necessarily our own teams. Dad working in the scoreboard was so much better in summer when World Series Cricket started.

 

[Slammed]

ok boomer

Little Whippersnapper that got Jimmy's hand-me-down bubble wrap padding.

 

[TechnicalBarbarity]

what's wrong with bubble wrapping your Jimmy???

 

[Slammed]

You might pop while you're getting your end away.