The Tasteless Jokes Thread

[MasterOLightning]

What do you call two my pals in a sleeping bag?



Twix.

I hope I'm getting this one right...
A man ran over a woman with his motorcycle. Whose fault was it?




The man's. He shouldn't have been doing that in the kitchen.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Q: What did the my pals get on his SATs?

A: Barbecue sauce.



Q: What do you get when you cross a my pals and a gorilla?

A: A dumb gorilla.



Q: How do you get a my pals out of a tree?

A: Cut the rope.



Q: Why don’t my pals babies play in sandboxes?

A: Because cats keep trying to bury them.



Q: How do you get a my pals to wear a condom?

A: Put a Nike logo on it.



Q: Why shouldn’t you shoot a my pals who’s driving by you?

A: The car might be yours.



Q: What do you call 10,000 my pals on a boat heading to Africa?

A: A good start.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

An American airliner is flying across country, and one of the engines goes out. The flight crew decides they need to get rid of some weight or they will crash.

To do it fairly, they decide to call people in alphabetical order. So they tell all of the African Americans to jump off the plane. No one moves. Then they say, “Okay, all the blacks jump off.” Again no one jumps. So they say, “All of the colored people jump off.” Still, no one jumps.

Finally, a little black boy looks up at his dad and says, “Daddy, ain’t we all three of those?” His dad responds, “Nope, today we’re my pals, cuz we ain’t jumpin’ off before the Mexicans.”

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Q: How do you know when you’re in a gay church?

A: Only half the congregation kneels to pray.



Q: What does one fag say to another fag who’s going on vacation?

A: “Can I help you pack your shit?”



Q: How do you fit three fags on one barstool?

A: Turn it upside-down.



Q: What do you call a gay guy in a wheelchair?

A: Rolaids.



Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other?

A: “How are we ever gonna find an egg in all this shit?”

 

[skeptik]

Why do my pals only have nightmares?

Because the last my pals who had a dream got shot.

 

[The Ozzman]

Why do my pals only have nightmares?

Because the last my pals who had a dream got shot.

I love that one

 

[rfe]

What's a my pals's idea of foreplay?

"Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch."

 

[The Heartbreak Kid]

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza?






A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

 

[The Ozzman]

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?










A pizza can feed a family of four

 

[The Heartbreak Kid]

 

[The Ozzman]

Here's one I've heard recently:

What does the word 'BENGALS' stand for (Cincinnati Bengals)


'Bout Every Nigga Got Arrested Last Season

I lol'd when I heard it.

 

[ThisIsACoolName]

An American airliner is flying across country, and one of the engines goes out. The flight crew decides they need to get rid of some weight or they will crash.

To do it fairly, they decide to call people in alphabetical order. So they tell all of the African Americans to jump off the plane. No one moves. Then they say, “Okay, all the blacks jump off.” Again no one jumps. So they say, “All of the colored people jump off.” Still, no one jumps.

Finally, a little black boy looks up at his dad and says, “Daddy, ain’t we all three of those?” His dad responds, “Nope, today we’re my pals, cuz we ain’t jumpin’ off before the Mexicans.”

I just heard this joke the other day, but when I heard it the punchline was "Niggas".

 

[IWP]

What do you call two my pals in a sleeping bag?



Twix.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Q: A black guy and a Mexican guy are in a car. Who’s driving?

A: A cop.



Q: What do you call a bunch of my pals running down a hill?

A: A jailbreak.



Q: What do babies and slinkies have in common?

A: They’re both fun to watch falling down the stairs.

 

[Evil?]

Knock, Knock.

 

[The Ozzman]

Knock, Knock.

That's what my balls did to your mom's chin last night

 

[cookiecutter]

Who's there?

 

[Zephyrus]

Polish burglar.

 

[genocide roach]

after reading all these, i cant think of any good ones. soooo...

swiiiiissssshhhhhh swiiiiiiiissssssshhhh *bang* swish swish swish...
what was that?
norwegian drive by

~gR~

 

[Evil?]

Who's there?

9/11