I don't have one because I don't have a use for it in this time of my life.
You don't have any friends
I'll just use a fucking normal phone.You don't have any friends or anyone to keep up with when you're not hanging out? No need to text people from work to see if they can cover you? No need for it when in a mall and can't find who you went with, etc?
Oh right you live in Maine.
I don't have a cell phone.
Totally inconvenient, seriously.
Wow, bunch of weird dudes here.

I'll just use a fucking normal phone.