So, first of all, the building I live is a total shit hole. Plumbing problems, outdated wiring, you name it. However, it's all I can afford, and my credit is totally shit, so I can't get anything better in the part of town I live in (which is where I insist upon staying, it's safe and has a good school district for my kids). Anyway, a few years ago, my wife talks her friend to move in next door so he could leave backwards, rural Iowa and meet some men (yes, he's gay). Since then, I've come to realize that he is a complete fucking idiot and completely intolerable to be around (mind you, this has nothing to do with his sexuality). Now we have this unique problem: the previous tenants in his apartment were illegals from Mexico and they brought roaches. Everyone else in the building has kept them out, but they have thrived in his unit. Unfortunately, he is a spineless cunt and will not complain to the landlord (for example, he has had a plugged drain in his bathroom sink the whole time). Anyway, long story short, his sister is apparently coming to visit, and she finds out about his roach problem. Being the complete opposite of her brother, she very assertively called the DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES! On the one hand, yes, great, now the landlord may be forced to fix up our shit hole building, but - and this is huge - what if DHHS condemns the joint? Where the fuck are my family and I going to go? We can't afford much higher rent, and like I said, my credit blows, so I'll never make it past the application process. FUCK!