HamburgerBoy
Active Member
- Sep 16, 2007
- 15,042
- 4,841
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Behold... The Arctopus – Alcoholocaust
These guys were too self-aware to be called properly pretentious. Funny how huge this was a decade ago and no one really gives a shit about them anymore. I think this has actually grown on me tbh. 7/10 but not very pretentious so 4/10.
Accept - Rich and Famous
A completely unpretentious shitty blues rock bonus track from nadir-era Accept. 2/10 but not pretentious so 0/10.
Exit-13 - Unintended Lyrical Befuddlement
Hats off, didn’t expect a song with lyrics actually about pretentiousness. Actually pretty interesting musically as well. Maybe a 7.5/10 but I don’t know this band at all and it’s a great pick so 10/10.
Manowar - Metal Warriors
Haven’t listened to this album since like 2005 or something. Hated it then but this sounds like perfectly fine Manowar to me. I’m guessing the submitter originally intended to submit Achilles, Agony, and Ecstasy in Eight Parts but then decided on irony instead. 6/10, not pretentious so 0/10.
Devin Townsend - The Death of Music
I’m not remotely a fan of Devin Townsend and a lot of this album sounds like dental office prog metal (ironically those parts are sometimes the best ones), but this song gets it right. It’s almost surprising that such a dork could put something together so pretentious yet simultaneously inoffensive and smooth. The overall production gives me those late 90s pop nostalgia feels as well even though of course this was never on the radio. 7/10.
Electric Wizard - Wizard in Black
This was actually really cool, I didn’t know I liked Electric Wizard. Is this pretentious? Doesn’t really seem so to me, either just a story or maybe a bit boastful. 7/10 down to a 4/10.
Sieges Even - Tangerine Windows of Solace
0/10.
Therion - Adulruna Rediviva
Lmfao, kind of blows my mind that a song like this can even exist, all the money and effort that went into actually recording this. Even the fucking YouTube uploader went along with it with well-synchronized images and shit beyond what Nuclear Blast does for their own official “Lyrical Music Videos” or whatever. Parts of this were kind of enjoyable. 3/10.
Edge Of Sanity – Crimson
I know a 40 minute song should be a shoo-in for pretentiousness, but it really isn’t that much to me. The riffs are very accessible, melodies almost poppy, and it’s broken into chapters that wouldn’t be hard to imagine as discrete songs. Most importantly, the story is very straight-forward in delivery, it’s not trying to be anything deeper than it really is, just more “epic”. I mean, is A Sorcerer’s Pledge a pretentious song? One of those albums I don’t think about much and would never call a favorite, but I have to admit there were a bunch of riffs I still really like and seem almost iconic to me. 7/10, bumped down to a 5/10.
Jag Panzer - Tragedy of Macbeth
I might like this album if it wasn’t so fucking long, this song on its own was pretty listenable. A tiny bit pretentious but eh. 5/10 down to a 3/10.
These guys were too self-aware to be called properly pretentious. Funny how huge this was a decade ago and no one really gives a shit about them anymore. I think this has actually grown on me tbh. 7/10 but not very pretentious so 4/10.
Accept - Rich and Famous
A completely unpretentious shitty blues rock bonus track from nadir-era Accept. 2/10 but not pretentious so 0/10.
Exit-13 - Unintended Lyrical Befuddlement
Hats off, didn’t expect a song with lyrics actually about pretentiousness. Actually pretty interesting musically as well. Maybe a 7.5/10 but I don’t know this band at all and it’s a great pick so 10/10.
Manowar - Metal Warriors
Haven’t listened to this album since like 2005 or something. Hated it then but this sounds like perfectly fine Manowar to me. I’m guessing the submitter originally intended to submit Achilles, Agony, and Ecstasy in Eight Parts but then decided on irony instead. 6/10, not pretentious so 0/10.
Devin Townsend - The Death of Music
I’m not remotely a fan of Devin Townsend and a lot of this album sounds like dental office prog metal (ironically those parts are sometimes the best ones), but this song gets it right. It’s almost surprising that such a dork could put something together so pretentious yet simultaneously inoffensive and smooth. The overall production gives me those late 90s pop nostalgia feels as well even though of course this was never on the radio. 7/10.
Electric Wizard - Wizard in Black
This was actually really cool, I didn’t know I liked Electric Wizard. Is this pretentious? Doesn’t really seem so to me, either just a story or maybe a bit boastful. 7/10 down to a 4/10.
Sieges Even - Tangerine Windows of Solace
0/10.
Therion - Adulruna Rediviva
Lmfao, kind of blows my mind that a song like this can even exist, all the money and effort that went into actually recording this. Even the fucking YouTube uploader went along with it with well-synchronized images and shit beyond what Nuclear Blast does for their own official “Lyrical Music Videos” or whatever. Parts of this were kind of enjoyable. 3/10.
Edge Of Sanity – Crimson
I know a 40 minute song should be a shoo-in for pretentiousness, but it really isn’t that much to me. The riffs are very accessible, melodies almost poppy, and it’s broken into chapters that wouldn’t be hard to imagine as discrete songs. Most importantly, the story is very straight-forward in delivery, it’s not trying to be anything deeper than it really is, just more “epic”. I mean, is A Sorcerer’s Pledge a pretentious song? One of those albums I don’t think about much and would never call a favorite, but I have to admit there were a bunch of riffs I still really like and seem almost iconic to me. 7/10, bumped down to a 5/10.
Jag Panzer - Tragedy of Macbeth
I might like this album if it wasn’t so fucking long, this song on its own was pretty listenable. A tiny bit pretentious but eh. 5/10 down to a 3/10.
