Duvall
Ia!
Kickass stories! I want more still, though. You should do a "Non-Norwegian European Metal Scene of the Early-to-Mid-90s" book..
thougth I´d share some old moments with Opeth
- Thread starter ante
- Start date
HoserHellspawn
Pixel Manipulator
Hey, Lynn?
YOU'RE FUCKIN' CRAZY!
And... british humour - GOOD! Monty Python, of course, rule, and I really liked Black Adder (especially) as well as Rowan Atkinson's other stuff. The british version of Whose Line is it Anyway? is way better than the American one... but that probably has a lot to do with the fact that Clive Anderson is way cooler than Drew Carey. His ongoing banter with Greg Proops just ruled... of course, a lot of credit to the Canadian content (Ryan, Colin) on that show.
YOU'RE FUCKIN' CRAZY!
And... british humour - GOOD! Monty Python, of course, rule, and I really liked Black Adder (especially) as well as Rowan Atkinson's other stuff. The british version of Whose Line is it Anyway? is way better than the American one... but that probably has a lot to do with the fact that Clive Anderson is way cooler than Drew Carey. His ongoing banter with Greg Proops just ruled... of course, a lot of credit to the Canadian content (Ryan, Colin) on that show.
The names Reeves & Mortimer...I know I've heard them somewhere before. I'm not thinking of the Muppets with those two up in the balcony seats, AM I? Monty Python was an old favorite of mine. I haven't seen it in a while. I guess the only British comedy I've seen lately is a few shows of "Whose Line..." and that lady that can't even say the words "The Weakest Link!" SHE CAN'T EVEN SAY IT! Is it just me? Her accent gets in the way of the words! Why would you name the show something you can't even pronounce clearly! Oh, whatever. I'm sorry & I'm done.
Oh, thanks Hoser.
Lynn
Playing: And your voice is vast and achromatic...But still so precious.
Oh, thanks Hoser.
Lynn
Playing: And your voice is vast and achromatic...But still so precious.
Russell
__
Hehe, Monty Python
Praline (John): Hello, I wish to register a complaint...Hello? Miss?
Shopkeeper (Michael): What do you mean, miss?
Praline: Oh, I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint.
Shopkeeper: Sorry, we're closing for lunch.
Praline: Never mind that my lad, I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Shopkeeper: Oh, yes, the Norwegian Blue. What's wrong with it?
Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it.
Shopkeeper: No, no it's resting, look!
Praline: Look my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one and I'm looking at one right now.
Shopkeeper: No, no sir, it's not dead. It's resting.
Praline: Resting?
Shopkeeper: Yeah, remarkable bird the Norwegian Blue, beautiful pumage, innit?
Praline: The plumage don't enter into it -- it's stone dead.
Shopkeeper: No, no--it's just resting.
Praline: All right then, if it's resting I'll wake it up. (shouts into cage) Hello Polly! I've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up, Polly Parrot!
Shopkeeper: (jogging cage) There it moved.
Praline: No he didn't. That was you pushing the cage.
Shopkeeper: I did not. Praline: Yes, you did. (takes parrot out of cage,shouts) Hello Polly, Polly (bangs it against counter) Polly Parrot,wake up. Polly. (throws it in the air and lets it fall to the floor) Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Shopkeeper: No, no it's stunned.
Praline: Look my lad, I've just about had enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased. And when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of movement was dueto it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.
Shopkeeper: It's probably pining for the fjords.
Praline: Pining for the fjords, what kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home?
Shopkeeper: The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on its back. Beautiful bird, lovely plumage.
Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examimimg that parrot, and I discovered that the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there.
Shopkeeper: Well of course it was nailed there. Otherwise it would muscle up to those bars and VOOM!.
Praline: Look matey (picks up parrot) this parrot wouldn't voom if I put four thousand volts through it. It's bleeding demised.
Shopkeeper: It's not, it's pining.
Praline: It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.
Shopkeeper: Well, I'd better replace it then.
Praline: (to camera) If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain till you're blue in the mouth.
Shopkeeper: Sorry guv, we're right out of parrots.
Praline: I see. I see. I get the picture. Shopkeeper: I've got a slug. Praline: Does it talk?
Shopkeeper: Not really, no.
Praline: Well it's scarcely a replacement, then is it?
Shopkeeper: Listen, I'll tell you what, (handing over a card) tell you what, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton he'll replace your parrot for you.
Praline: Bolton, eh.
Shopkeeper: Yeah.
Praline: All right.
[He leaves, holding the parrot. CAPTION: `A SIMILAR PET SHOP IN BOLTON, LANCS' Close-up uf sign on door reading: `Similar Pet Shops, Ltd.' Pull back from sign to see same pet shop. Shopkeeper now has moustache. Praline walks into shop. He looks around with interest, noticing the empty parrot cage still on the floor.]
Praline: Er, excuse me. This is Bolton, is it?
Shopkeeper: No, no it's, er, Ipswich.
Praline: (to camera) That's Inter-City Rail for you. (leaves)
Praline (John): Hello, I wish to register a complaint...Hello? Miss?
Shopkeeper (Michael): What do you mean, miss?
Praline: Oh, I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint.
Shopkeeper: Sorry, we're closing for lunch.
Praline: Never mind that my lad, I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Shopkeeper: Oh, yes, the Norwegian Blue. What's wrong with it?
Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it.
Shopkeeper: No, no it's resting, look!
Praline: Look my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one and I'm looking at one right now.
Shopkeeper: No, no sir, it's not dead. It's resting.
Praline: Resting?
Shopkeeper: Yeah, remarkable bird the Norwegian Blue, beautiful pumage, innit?
Praline: The plumage don't enter into it -- it's stone dead.
Shopkeeper: No, no--it's just resting.
Praline: All right then, if it's resting I'll wake it up. (shouts into cage) Hello Polly! I've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up, Polly Parrot!
Shopkeeper: (jogging cage) There it moved.
Praline: No he didn't. That was you pushing the cage.
Shopkeeper: I did not. Praline: Yes, you did. (takes parrot out of cage,shouts) Hello Polly, Polly (bangs it against counter) Polly Parrot,wake up. Polly. (throws it in the air and lets it fall to the floor) Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Shopkeeper: No, no it's stunned.
Praline: Look my lad, I've just about had enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased. And when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of movement was dueto it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.
Shopkeeper: It's probably pining for the fjords.
Praline: Pining for the fjords, what kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home?
Shopkeeper: The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on its back. Beautiful bird, lovely plumage.
Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examimimg that parrot, and I discovered that the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there.
Shopkeeper: Well of course it was nailed there. Otherwise it would muscle up to those bars and VOOM!.
Praline: Look matey (picks up parrot) this parrot wouldn't voom if I put four thousand volts through it. It's bleeding demised.
Shopkeeper: It's not, it's pining.
Praline: It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.
Shopkeeper: Well, I'd better replace it then.
Praline: (to camera) If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain till you're blue in the mouth.
Shopkeeper: Sorry guv, we're right out of parrots.
Praline: I see. I see. I get the picture. Shopkeeper: I've got a slug. Praline: Does it talk?
Shopkeeper: Not really, no.
Praline: Well it's scarcely a replacement, then is it?
Shopkeeper: Listen, I'll tell you what, (handing over a card) tell you what, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton he'll replace your parrot for you.
Praline: Bolton, eh.
Shopkeeper: Yeah.
Praline: All right.
[He leaves, holding the parrot. CAPTION: `A SIMILAR PET SHOP IN BOLTON, LANCS' Close-up uf sign on door reading: `Similar Pet Shops, Ltd.' Pull back from sign to see same pet shop. Shopkeeper now has moustache. Praline walks into shop. He looks around with interest, noticing the empty parrot cage still on the floor.]
Praline: Er, excuse me. This is Bolton, is it?
Shopkeeper: No, no it's, er, Ipswich.
Praline: (to camera) That's Inter-City Rail for you. (leaves)
Russell
__
Jim LotFP
The Keeper of Metal
>>So, we played two songs at once and no-one seemed to notice.. I think that says a lot about our music
Lee B
heeheehee
Yet you got albums released on Earache AND Nuclear Blast... young bands, commence ripping thy hair out NOW!
That WAS you wearing the Opeth shirt in that one Disgust video Nuclear Blast released, yes?
Lee B
heeheehee
Yet you got albums released on Earache AND Nuclear Blast... young bands, commence ripping thy hair out NOW!
That WAS you wearing the Opeth shirt in that one Disgust video Nuclear Blast released, yes?
Lee_B
Readin' me posts are ya?
Proving that sometimes it's not what you know, but who you know
I still think that the debut album on Earache was great in it's genre. Sold about 15000 too...The second one on NB was too Metal. They pushed us for a good production, when it didn't really suit the music.
And yep, I'm the fat bastard in the Morningrise shirt
This one cracks me up! Every time I meet Lee I ask him to tell the story with David Vincent!
I was kinda nervous meeting them and especially Vincent as he's the Dog of screams as everybody knows...the only thing he ever said to us in 4 days time was "How's it going folks?"
Trey actually came up and talked to us for a while and so did Pete...him and Anders had a pretty good connection for these couple of gigs.
I remember that us and Blood Divine (who did the tour with us) were planning to jump MA and kick their asses as they made us cancel a gig in Birmingham...we didn't get a soundcheck/only 2 channels on the PA or whatever...I remember nobody wanted to take on Vincent....! Needless to say it didn't happen as we were too chickenshit + huge Morbid fans. I remember the driving force was Paul Ryan (ex COF) and now manager for Ackercocke...
All our UK memories are great...first time we went over with the 2 Martins we also stayed at Lee's house. The Martins are not that used to alcohol as they, well... use other stuff, and one particular night we took em down to the pub for a few pints. They both threw up in one of Lee's flowerpots (!!!)
OK, I just wanted to make this thread live to as it's a nice read!
Cheers
Mike
I was kinda nervous meeting them and especially Vincent as he's the Dog of screams as everybody knows...the only thing he ever said to us in 4 days time was "How's it going folks?"
Trey actually came up and talked to us for a while and so did Pete...him and Anders had a pretty good connection for these couple of gigs.
I remember that us and Blood Divine (who did the tour with us) were planning to jump MA and kick their asses as they made us cancel a gig in Birmingham...we didn't get a soundcheck/only 2 channels on the PA or whatever...I remember nobody wanted to take on Vincent....! Needless to say it didn't happen as we were too chickenshit + huge Morbid fans. I remember the driving force was Paul Ryan (ex COF) and now manager for Ackercocke...
All our UK memories are great...first time we went over with the 2 Martins we also stayed at Lee's house. The Martins are not that used to alcohol as they, well... use other stuff, and one particular night we took em down to the pub for a few pints. They both threw up in one of Lee's flowerpots (!!!)
OK, I just wanted to make this thread live to as it's a nice read!
Cheers
Mike
Sullen Jester
Corporate Executive
Thank's for bringing back this thread.
I was just thinking of going back to Ante's stories.. You saved me some time
I was just thinking of going back to Ante's stories.. You saved me some time
Tjenare Micke!!
welcome to the board!!
nice to see you posting here...
uhm...feels kind of wierd speaking english with ya hehe
so how are u doing?
cheers!
ante
welcome to the board!!
nice to see you posting here...
uhm...feels kind of wierd speaking english with ya hehe
so how are u doing?
cheers!
ante
HoserHellspawn
Pixel Manipulator
Lee_B
Readin' me posts are ya?
I saw him at a show a few months back. Akercocke had just played and he asked me what I thought of 'em. I gave 'em both barrels, basically saying that they were a gimmicky death metal band, and that the production on their last album was so woeful that a Chimpanzee must have been twiddling the knobs... Not only did Paul then tell me that he was managing the band, but he also let me know that he was involved with the production of the record too... DOH!!
That was them, was it? Bastards! hehe..
I remember going to that really bad club in Wycombe, and you and Peter found the spot on the dancefloor that the camera was pointing. Not only were you both grooving on down to the disco shit, but it was showing on every monitor in the club too!
Lee_B
Readin' me posts are ya?
I don't think there was a Mrs B at the time.. or maybe I'd just met her. I can't recall.
The "flowerpot" was full of cigarette ends anyway so the vomit was the least of it's worries.
Inside the house was worse. The band refused to put any food in the fridge until they'd given it a thorough clean
Lee
Hi Lee...Tjena Anders...jag har varit busy senaste tiden, va sägs om en kaffe jävligt snart?
I remember my last time in Wycombe...Lee, you were kinda working on Becky at the time...as far as I remember she was turning you down at first. She probably felt sorry for you in the end, haha!!
That house was a fucking sty! I cleaned up the entire kitchen...it was fucking disgusting! The only thing that was in order was Lee's pile of porn!
Anyways, looking back now I think those years we're extremely good for me! It seem so fucking long ago, and it kinda was!
The funniest thing though...I will never forget it....remember Anders, the x-ray machine at Arlanda, when your cymbals got stuck in the middle of it...??
I remember my last time in Wycombe...Lee, you were kinda working on Becky at the time...as far as I remember she was turning you down at first. She probably felt sorry for you in the end, haha!!
That house was a fucking sty! I cleaned up the entire kitchen...it was fucking disgusting! The only thing that was in order was Lee's pile of porn!
Anyways, looking back now I think those years we're extremely good for me! It seem so fucking long ago, and it kinda was!
The funniest thing though...I will never forget it....remember Anders, the x-ray machine at Arlanda, when your cymbals got stuck in the middle of it...??
Fyhed
I like music
Lee_B: "I remember going to that really bad club in Wycombe, and you and Peter found the spot on the dancefloor that the camera was pointing. Not only were you both grooving on down to the disco shit, but it was showing on every monitor in the club too!"
M.Å.: "That house was a fucking sty! I cleaned up the entire kitchen...it was fucking disgusting! The only thing that was in order was Lee's pile of porn!
Nice! I needed a laugh. It's been quite the day to forget. I still can't picture Mike and Pete grooving to disco. Must have been having a really good day.
M.Å.: "The funniest thing though...I will never forget it....remember Anders, the x-ray machine at Arlanda, when your cymbals got stuck in the middle of it...??
So what happened? I mean, did it come out in with a jiggle or did you end up standing there laughing for hours and miss a plane? Must have been really weird for a minute. Seeing the rollers going yet nothing coming out...hahah.
"Insanity at its peak.
Love me to my death."
M.Å.: "That house was a fucking sty! I cleaned up the entire kitchen...it was fucking disgusting! The only thing that was in order was Lee's pile of porn!
Nice! I needed a laugh. It's been quite the day to forget. I still can't picture Mike and Pete grooving to disco. Must have been having a really good day. M.Å.: "The funniest thing though...I will never forget it....remember Anders, the x-ray machine at Arlanda, when your cymbals got stuck in the middle of it...??
So what happened? I mean, did it come out in with a jiggle or did you end up standing there laughing for hours and miss a plane? Must have been really weird for a minute. Seeing the rollers going yet nothing coming out...hahah.
"Insanity at its peak.
Love me to my death."
brightoffski
Abstraction of I
Plants are remarkably hardy when it comes to substance abuse... I remember one that seemed to handle it better than I did.
Hmmm...
Anyway, what a fantastic thread...story time!
