Hmm...winter cant be it (ie The Finnish) and it cant be football (men in croatia watch clinically stupid amounts of football and are not fat) so I believe it must be Pizza Hut XL Pepperoni.
The conclusion is thus:
If you are American you stand a 98% chance of significant weight gain while on a diet of beer and pizza. This chance increases 2% in winter if you live in a northern state. Canadians have a 11% bonus for having healthcare and stricter consumption policies on fast food, but lose 4% of the bonus in the winter, except in Edmonton where the bonus is only 4% (leaving them with a 96% chance). Mexicans stand only a 42% chance of weight gain, leaving the North American average at around 75%. Scandanavians below the age of 30 have a natural immunity to weight gain as a result of alcohol abuse, typically due to the consumption of alternative products* (see below), however still have a 15% chance which increases to 79% after age 30 or severe depression inset. South-Eastern Europeans are immune completely to alcohol related weight gain, preferring instead to blame it on the pastry.
The weight gain factor can be reduced using any of or combination of the following methods:
1. Drink light american beer. This option has the negative side effect of making you suicidal**, which is why option 2 is preferable:
2. Switch to alternative substances such as vodka, rakija, or wine. Note that liver failure is imminent with the vodka choice.
3. Drink till you puke (or go to a bar during a soccer game and cheer for the opposing team)
4. Stop eating pizza and pastry. Its bad for you.
5. Refrain from mixed drinks or soda. Each one (along with beer) can be about 200cal. You (men) are only supposed to consume about 2000cal per day if you are lazy, and 3500cal if you exercise. A typical meal is about 800, so do the math on your binging.
6. **Apply for Swedish citizenship
7. If you know you will be drinkng a lot on a given night, follow this:
morning: fiber. oatmeal with apples, shredded wheat, or corn flakes. no sugar, and no, coco puffs do not count.
afternoon: lean meat and anything with a lot of tomatoes, and i dont mean tomato sauce (stuff is full of sugar). Fresh tomatoes will actually cleanse your system out and prepare your liver for whats coming. If you hate tomatoes like most guys I know, choke down a v8 or eat an orange. Europeans, this is a good time to eat/drink a yogurt. Fat metabolizes slower and you dont want to mix it with all the carbs later.
evening: right before drinking, have a shot of bitters and water, and eat an energy bar or else drink a protein shake. No red bull is not the same thing. This is for vitamin content that gives your gut something to digest and your system something to help deal with the sugar you are about to consume in huge amounts.
finally: drink enough to get buzzed, then quit. Don't be tempted by the late night restaurant stops, if you must go, order green tea, it helps pass the stuff through you faster than coffee.