Black Metal.

[Internally Deformed]

They act like they're bringing back the hallowed 80's trad metal gloriousness, meanwhile there's innumerable other bands doing the same retro metal schtick, only inestimably better.

Really? In my experience most retro acts suck balls, because they don't do anything other than ape their influences. Darkthrone's idea of fusing black metal with trad is pretty unique.

 

[Vilden]

we talkin about the cheese?

I have no idea, I just ment that actual 80s trad metal is better than what Darkthrone's been doing lately.

 

[Elric of Melniboné]

I'm a ridiculous freak over trad metal, love it. But what Darkthrone does with it? Drives me frigging nuts. They act like they're bringing back the hallowed 80's trad metal gloriousness, meanwhile there's innumerable other bands doing the same retro metal schtick, only inestimably better. Thus turning a band that was once a maverick source of great black metal and overall musical brilliance, into a schmaltzy, hokey-doke foundry of gratuitous, unadulterated, derpy faggotry. Pitchfork and all the other pencil-dick hipster dish rags can jump in a lake of liquid sarin and arsenic-laced thumbtacks for holding those recorded examples of how to not play decent retro metal up as critical masterstrokes.

This goes down as one of the most tryhard things that I've ever read and I don't even listen to this band.

 

[H.P. Lovecraft]

Really? In my experience most retro acts suck balls, because they don't do anything other than ape their influences. Darkthrone's idea of fusing black metal with trad is pretty unique.

Except they ape their influences quite well, to the point where they do them at least partial justice. Fenriz just records unimaginative pseudo-tributes to his influences (his tributes usually extend to, "HUR DUR I MENTIONED THEM IN THE LYRICS AND ON THE BACK OF THE CD CASE") with no forseeable point. Not to mention he can't sing worth ass so it's just him doing talky-sing-song histrionics over Nocturno's awful, mindnumbingly ennui-inducing two chord guitar riffs. If you're going to pay homage, to, say, Manowar? At least have someone who can do half-competent vocalizations of some sort. And they do this when there's all these other bands already doing retro metal, and doing it much better. But, no, because Uncle Fenriz has a big hard one for his inordinately extensive heaps of old vinyl, we have to listen to his substandard, autistic recycle jobs of good trad metal. Meanwhile, they could still be making decent black metal, but nope.

 

[H.P. Lovecraft]

This goes down as one of the most tryhard things that I've ever read and I don't even listen to this band.

I wrote that in a couple minutes with no real effort or second thought, so, not terribly tryhard.

 

[Internally Deformed]

Fenriz's vocals are brilliant and hilarious, partly because Fenriz knows they suck and just doesn't give a shit, which conversely makes them good. Contrast that to most heavy metal bands, where precisely the opposite state of affairs pertains. Also vocals are the most superficial aspect of metal's repertoire and not a particularly good reason for disliking a band/album (unless they're Grave Digger).

Also whoever these retro bands are that you like, you're going to have to link some because I'm hard put to think of any that I think are actually good.

 

[H.P. Lovecraft]

Him not giving a crap about his vocals sucking and being all "HUR HUR I'M IRONIC" about them, doesn't make them brilliant. It just means he's being ironic and having ass vocals put to sordid reproductions of trad metal. I hate to burst your bubble, but irony does not automatically equate to ingenuity. Vocals can be a reason for disliking it if the vocals are supposed to have some semblance of quality as a precedent. Which is pretty much the case with trad metal. You expect singers with quasi-operatic/operatic super pipes like King Diamond and Eric Adams when you walk into it. Or, at the bare minimum, someone with an actual singing voice. As for quality retro metal, this is technically all subjective anyways, however, I enjoy Bullet and Enforcer the most in my experience.

 

[H.P. Lovecraft]

 

[Internally Deformed]

His vocals aren't good because of the irony, they're good because they're fun and the crumminess matches the tone of the music. Fenriz isn't some hipster fag using irony to mask an absence of real talent, he's just someone who doesn't give a shit what people think. Also sordid is a good word to describe newer Darkthrone, and isn't particularly pejorative in this context. My advice to you is not to allow your expectations to dictate your response to music, but simply to take it as it comes.

I'll make sure to check those two bands out, here's hoping they aren't boring.

 

[H.P. Lovecraft]

If someone tells me something is good because it's "fun", I'm automatically skeptical. The drug dealers I've seen in NYC told me that ice is fun, that doesn't mean I'm gonna go "SURE PAL" the moment they try to offer me some. Their crumminess matching the tone of the music doesn't justify their absence of quality either. If the steaming turd Harambe errantly chucks at his cage wall matches the spotty, brown paint-job, that doesn't mean the turd stinks less or the painters who did the wall were any less inept. As for your advice, I seldom allow my expectations to sculpt my general opinion of music. However, I do sometimes have minor standards for what I like and dislike. And when nugatory, low quality, trite, and creatively barren expeditions into retro metal is what I'm subjected to by what's supposed to one of the finest black metal bands ever? I'm somewhat irked.

 

[Internally Deformed]

Actually you should go ahead because his verbose insults are amazing and entertaining to read.

No kidding, lol.

The drug dealers I've seen in NYC told me that ice is fun, that doesn't mean I'm gonna go "SURE PAL" the moment they try to offer me some.

Crystal Meth probably is a hell of a lot of fun though. Listening to modern Darkthrone probably doesn't cave in your cheeks and age you by decades, although admittedly I have been looking a little gaunt recently.

If the steaming turd Harambe errantly chucks at his cage wall matches the spotty, brown paint-job, that doesn't mean the turd stinks less or the painters who did the wall were any less inept.

Honestly this criticism is on the same level as people who criticise Death Metal for not having "proper" vocals. Modern Darkthrone would sound ludicrous with a polished and preening NWOBHM singer. Also if you think the music itself sucks (rather than just the vocals), you should make that clear rather than exhibiting neurotic levels of aversion to the vocals alone.

expeditions into retro metal is what I'm subjected to by what's supposed to one of the finest black metal bands ever

Darkthrone already gave us at least 4 albums of quality bm, plus one solid death metal record, which is more than any of the other Norwegian 2nd wave bands managed. If every album since then had just been a repeat of Under a Funeral Moon the result would have been boring as fuck, not to mention less original than a novel take on a retro style.

 

[Phylactery]

TWO (more than) solid death metal records. Goatload is awesome.

 

[Internally Deformed]

TWO (more than) solid death metal records. Goatload is awesome.

True, I always forget Goatlord.

 

[Phylactery]

Holy crap, you don't have to suck me off that hard. Sheesh.

Haha, well I have missed your presence lately and seeing "thematic" at the end of every one of your mixtape song reviews. You haven't been posting much recently.

 

[EchoForever]

now THAT just aint right

 

[H.P. Lovecraft]

Haha, well I have missed your presence lately and seeing "thematic" at the end of every one of your mixtape song reviews. You haven't been posting much recently.

Thanks. Yeah, I've had a lot going on as of late, thusly inhibiting the frequency of my posts here.

 

[CiG]

Modern Darkthrone's take on traditional metal is to remove all the posing, showmanship and flashy musicianship and replace it with an unpolished and personal take on metal.

It's almost as if it's not written for the outside world to hear.

Anyway, ID there's no point arguing with him, he's stubborn and irrational.

 

[EchoForever]

who has the best corpse makeup in any black metal era

 

[Internally Deformed]

 

[Slayed Necros]

Vondur, clearly.