Morganna
Member
Yeah, you don't grow out of it, you just work on it, and hope your having one of your better days. I'm 34.
Confessions
- Thread starter Shpongled
- Start date
Det Som Engang Var
Viking Bastard
Kev, they should definitely be no no's from now on for you, mayne.
I'll dominate this thread. I'm so lonely "emotionally", and depressed sometimes I just hold my pillow at night and cry myself to sleep.
I'll dominate this thread. I'm so lonely "emotionally", and depressed sometimes I just hold my pillow at night and cry myself to sleep.
Liverslapper
w00t
if i were there, you wouldn't being doing that! i told you i would take you to a strip club, and i still stay close to my word!
Kevin - it's nice to post how you feel..sometimes it helps to type or write it out and post it, its like a huge weight that is relieved from your sholders. Like i told you before, you are intelligent, you know from right and wrong (which most people don't know). So i know that you can overcome the problems and issues that you endure.
Instead of "confessions", name some positive things about yourself.
nutslap
dr. nutslap
liverslapper has the right idea, grab some mates and hit the strip clubs. it's much more fun than it sounds
dreaming neon darkspot
natures' retard
*hugs kevin and neal* - it's weird how much i could relate to your first two posts in this thread.
i sometimes think i have anxiety problems. if i have plans to hang out with someone who isn't one of my close, close friends then i'll often find myself looking for ways out because i just start thinking all these bad things will happen - i'll get into an accident on the way there, i'll get lost, i'll damage my car, i'll feel really uncomfortable around them, they'll have people over there that i won't know
i think that i've come so far in terms of becoming more confident but i'm still resentful of girls who are better-looking than me, or girls who i think i look better than but who get more attention than me because they're confident and out-going. yes, i am, in fact, a conceited and attention-hungry snot.
i'm afraid that everyone actually thinks i'm ugly and annoying and stupid.
i'm not scared of being alone. i think i'd actually prefer it; i just hate the idea of wasting my time by not doing anything with it and i hate when being alone makes it APPEAR that no one wants to be with me.
oh yeah: and i think i might not go back to home depot after i take a temp leave in february for classes. those rumors bother me more deeply than i realized and the majority of people there are just too fucking two-faced and self-serving for me to deal with. i know that it's a bad idea since it'll be hard to find a job somewhere else and i'm so fucking scared of having to form relationships with new people but... i just can't fucking deal with the shit there. i now have physical problems resulting from the stress of that shit.
i sometimes think i have anxiety problems. if i have plans to hang out with someone who isn't one of my close, close friends then i'll often find myself looking for ways out because i just start thinking all these bad things will happen - i'll get into an accident on the way there, i'll get lost, i'll damage my car, i'll feel really uncomfortable around them, they'll have people over there that i won't know
i think that i've come so far in terms of becoming more confident but i'm still resentful of girls who are better-looking than me, or girls who i think i look better than but who get more attention than me because they're confident and out-going. yes, i am, in fact, a conceited and attention-hungry snot.
i'm afraid that everyone actually thinks i'm ugly and annoying and stupid.
i'm not scared of being alone. i think i'd actually prefer it; i just hate the idea of wasting my time by not doing anything with it and i hate when being alone makes it APPEAR that no one wants to be with me.
oh yeah: and i think i might not go back to home depot after i take a temp leave in february for classes. those rumors bother me more deeply than i realized and the majority of people there are just too fucking two-faced and self-serving for me to deal with. i know that it's a bad idea since it'll be hard to find a job somewhere else and i'm so fucking scared of having to form relationships with new people but... i just can't fucking deal with the shit there. i now have physical problems resulting from the stress of that shit.
Dead Winter
STAHP
I procrastinate. Terribly.
I sometimes have a short attention span when it comes to things I don't wanna do.
I'm a cold-hearted bastard when it comes to mean people...to the point where I'd love to paralyze them/make them suffer in some aspect. I'm not kidding and I'm not exaggerating. Being mean towards a friend in a playful way is one thing, but to be a complete asshole towards someone for no apparent reason, I have no patience nor sympathy. If the guy got hit by a bus one second after, I'd piss on him as he died. I say male mainly because females typically don't stoop to such a level men do.
I hate inconsiderate drivers to the point where I've almost gotten out of my car and beaten the shit out of them here. It's raining and you see me coming and you know you don't have time to stop, yet you pull out in front of me, causing me to slam on my breaks, causing my car to go into a skid. I have to hit the shoulder of the LEFT side of the road just to miss you because you decide to stop in the middle of the road to let me pass. That day, I literally almost stopped my car and beat a man to death for nearly killing me because he was an idiot. I gripped the steering wheel and just kept going because I knew if I stopped, the man would be in the hospital.
The only things I really don't like about where I live is the fact that none of the movie theaters have original language nights and their public toilets disgust me. Not because they're dirty...oh no. It's a porcelain hole in the ground with footpads so you can squat and shit if you have to, yet the women get a full-on toilet. Not every place is like that here but many are and it disgusts me that the cultural center of the world doesn't have the decency to make you shit like a civilized human being not on a camping trip.
I tend to prefer animal to human company...they don't judge you, forgive you for your mistakes, and are always there when you need them. It seems that "friends" today can't seem to do even those things these days.
I really don't care what other people think of me, to the point of it being a fault. I'm not rude or anything and I always behave in an appropriate manner, but I probably should chill out more.
I sometimes feel I have a superiority complex, but I find that most people these days just don't have anything interesting to say, and their experiences are trite, boring, superficial, and lack maturity. I'm still searching for someone to look up to and set a goal like, "I wanna be like THAT guy." Most people just disgust me.
I'm losing interest in the local metal scene...I'm starting to find that metalheads are incessantly boring, rehashing the same argument over and over and over for the last 10 years at all the same concerts and gatherings. Which musician is better, which instrument is better, "check out this song, it kicks ass!" when in reality it sounds like everything else out there, etc. I really can't think of anyone I know of with some sort of eclectic taste for music. Either they're completely stuck in one genre and closed off from anything else or they think it's still 1987 and listening to anything without distortion isn't metal.
I get so aggravated at the lackadaisical manner of Italians and their inability to change anything themselves. It's always someone else's fault and never theirs or someone else's responsibility. They are unable to accept responsibility for the state of their lives (which aren't that bad, btw). They act like they have such a hard life because they have to work 40 hours a week and they aren't rich. I want to slap them sometimes. Also for the one-dimensional mindset. Let's eat the same shit and do the same things for 500 years and not ask why.
Communists. Fuck them. I hope they all get cancer and fucking die, especially the ones who I call "Communists with Private Jets", the ones full of money due to capitalism but rail against it every chance they get. I seriously without a doubt hope they fucking die of AIDS. I'm just a cold-hearted person, I guess.
I have a severe dislike for children and I don't know why. The funny thing is, I'm really good with them because I helped raise my little brothers, but when I hear kids scream I wanna punch them in the face....well, maybe not punch them in the face. Shake them, at least.
I'm scared to death to lose Annalisa before I die, and still to this day can't understand why she loves me. Maybe I should confess some good stuff about me, lol.
I sometimes think I should just give up on Skylab, but I can't bring myself to do it.
Bah, enough.
I sometimes have a short attention span when it comes to things I don't wanna do.
I'm a cold-hearted bastard when it comes to mean people...to the point where I'd love to paralyze them/make them suffer in some aspect. I'm not kidding and I'm not exaggerating. Being mean towards a friend in a playful way is one thing, but to be a complete asshole towards someone for no apparent reason, I have no patience nor sympathy. If the guy got hit by a bus one second after, I'd piss on him as he died. I say male mainly because females typically don't stoop to such a level men do.
I hate inconsiderate drivers to the point where I've almost gotten out of my car and beaten the shit out of them here. It's raining and you see me coming and you know you don't have time to stop, yet you pull out in front of me, causing me to slam on my breaks, causing my car to go into a skid. I have to hit the shoulder of the LEFT side of the road just to miss you because you decide to stop in the middle of the road to let me pass. That day, I literally almost stopped my car and beat a man to death for nearly killing me because he was an idiot. I gripped the steering wheel and just kept going because I knew if I stopped, the man would be in the hospital.
The only things I really don't like about where I live is the fact that none of the movie theaters have original language nights and their public toilets disgust me. Not because they're dirty...oh no. It's a porcelain hole in the ground with footpads so you can squat and shit if you have to, yet the women get a full-on toilet. Not every place is like that here but many are and it disgusts me that the cultural center of the world doesn't have the decency to make you shit like a civilized human being not on a camping trip.
I tend to prefer animal to human company...they don't judge you, forgive you for your mistakes, and are always there when you need them. It seems that "friends" today can't seem to do even those things these days.
I really don't care what other people think of me, to the point of it being a fault. I'm not rude or anything and I always behave in an appropriate manner, but I probably should chill out more.
I sometimes feel I have a superiority complex, but I find that most people these days just don't have anything interesting to say, and their experiences are trite, boring, superficial, and lack maturity. I'm still searching for someone to look up to and set a goal like, "I wanna be like THAT guy." Most people just disgust me.
I'm losing interest in the local metal scene...I'm starting to find that metalheads are incessantly boring, rehashing the same argument over and over and over for the last 10 years at all the same concerts and gatherings. Which musician is better, which instrument is better, "check out this song, it kicks ass!" when in reality it sounds like everything else out there, etc. I really can't think of anyone I know of with some sort of eclectic taste for music. Either they're completely stuck in one genre and closed off from anything else or they think it's still 1987 and listening to anything without distortion isn't metal.
I get so aggravated at the lackadaisical manner of Italians and their inability to change anything themselves. It's always someone else's fault and never theirs or someone else's responsibility. They are unable to accept responsibility for the state of their lives (which aren't that bad, btw). They act like they have such a hard life because they have to work 40 hours a week and they aren't rich. I want to slap them sometimes. Also for the one-dimensional mindset. Let's eat the same shit and do the same things for 500 years and not ask why.
Communists. Fuck them. I hope they all get cancer and fucking die, especially the ones who I call "Communists with Private Jets", the ones full of money due to capitalism but rail against it every chance they get. I seriously without a doubt hope they fucking die of AIDS. I'm just a cold-hearted person, I guess.
I have a severe dislike for children and I don't know why. The funny thing is, I'm really good with them because I helped raise my little brothers, but when I hear kids scream I wanna punch them in the face....well, maybe not punch them in the face. Shake them, at least.
I'm scared to death to lose Annalisa before I die, and still to this day can't understand why she loves me. Maybe I should confess some good stuff about me, lol.
I sometimes think I should just give up on Skylab, but I can't bring myself to do it.
Bah, enough.
Karmic
speedy meatmonger
Oh hey, one of these threads.
I grew up in a very strangled environment, (if you really want to know, ask on msn or aim or something) and thanks to that I had extreme difficulties being social with anyone... almost up to until I was 20. I'm still not comfortable around many people, and I had the most terrible "stage" fright anyone could have. And not just up front in front of people, but becoming the subject of the discussion. I've learned to deal with it now, and I don't have as big trust issues I had before, but I guess it's still something that's always there that still affects my judgement.
I have a problem with expressing myself at times, and also when talking to someone I easily take for granted that the other person knows what I'm talking about even when I've forgotten to say it. That and hating to have to repeat myself, even if I didn't make myself heard enough the first time.
It's the kind of things that isn't entirely gone even after I've worked hard to get rid of it, but it doesn't always bother me either.
I grew up in a very strangled environment, (if you really want to know, ask on msn or aim or something) and thanks to that I had extreme difficulties being social with anyone... almost up to until I was 20. I'm still not comfortable around many people, and I had the most terrible "stage" fright anyone could have. And not just up front in front of people, but becoming the subject of the discussion. I've learned to deal with it now, and I don't have as big trust issues I had before, but I guess it's still something that's always there that still affects my judgement.
I have a problem with expressing myself at times, and also when talking to someone I easily take for granted that the other person knows what I'm talking about even when I've forgotten to say it. That and hating to have to repeat myself, even if I didn't make myself heard enough the first time.
It's the kind of things that isn't entirely gone even after I've worked hard to get rid of it, but it doesn't always bother me either.
dreaming neon darkspot
natures' retard
stefan86
invariably off-topic
hmm.. I have aspergers syndrome and went in ultra-weirdo special schools until 15 or so and was very weird. Guess I transformed into a semi-normal person now in most ways. I also recognize the fear of new people and such many people has talked about. I have huge trouble at new schools and work places. The only way to work on it though is to do the exact opposite of what the mind is saying. I have huge trouble with cold talk and empty phrases, which is essentially what moves you up the ladder more than anything else.
Shapeless)))
-.!.. (-_-) ..!.-
Karmic
speedy meatmonger
Lunar Still
Doodle drawrer
The future keeps on coming, blaring its horn, and I kind of want to step off the tracks.
My parents have (and continue to) work their asses off for my benefit, and I feel more and more like I haven't done shit to repay them.
I have been handed a million opportunities, but it's very hard for me to attach myself to one definite direction in life. Uncertainty is so comforting, in a way.
I think my future is being stunted by the Morgue. I go to school part time every fall semester and put off trying to get a better job for fear that a new schedule will not allow me to go scare people for a single month out of the year. Before I started at the haunt, I never had anything like this: so many weird new friends every year, a crazy, dark environment we have to completely leave reality behind for a while and become something else, so much fun every single night, getting creative and thinking up new ideas for rooms, etc. I really think if I didn't have it in my life, I could begin growing up and moving farther, but...I absolutely can not leave there. It's like a second family. Plus, I am getting paid to make people literally wet themselves, and that is really important to me.
Perhaps more later.
My parents have (and continue to) work their asses off for my benefit, and I feel more and more like I haven't done shit to repay them.
I have been handed a million opportunities, but it's very hard for me to attach myself to one definite direction in life. Uncertainty is so comforting, in a way.
I think my future is being stunted by the Morgue. I go to school part time every fall semester and put off trying to get a better job for fear that a new schedule will not allow me to go scare people for a single month out of the year. Before I started at the haunt, I never had anything like this: so many weird new friends every year, a crazy, dark environment we have to completely leave reality behind for a while and become something else, so much fun every single night, getting creative and thinking up new ideas for rooms, etc. I really think if I didn't have it in my life, I could begin growing up and moving farther, but...I absolutely can not leave there. It's like a second family. Plus, I am getting paid to make people literally wet themselves, and that is really important to me.
Perhaps more later.
El Stormo
Member
*ahem*
I can never resist the urge to point out people's flaws and faults. But then, I'm equally demanding for myself as well. But seriously, everywhere I look, I see stupidity, rudeness, egoism and other annoying behaviour. It gets royally on my tits, and somehow I can't just let it go. It's bad for my heart, and it doesn't make it easy for people to feel comfortable around me.
I can't help but think of the world in terms of "better than" or "worse than". I'm having a lot of trouble thinking of people as different, or with their strengths lying elsewhere, as opposed to putting them on a one-dimensional ladder and seeing which step of that ladder I'm on. If I act hostile or dismissive towards you, chances are I see you as lower on the ladder. I'll usually be friendly with people I consider equals, and find myself awed (though not intimidated) by those I see as higher.
I'm terribly inaccessible in real life. Not really shy (although I don't always feel comfortable in groups), but rather, I send out a a kind of cold waves all the time, making it very hard for people to get to know me. Most people tell my girlfriend that they experience me as cold, closed-off, and distant. I'm usually this way when I haven't placed you on my ladder yet, and if this emanation grows more intense, it means I consider you lower than me. I do this on purpose, in a way, because I don't want to deal with people who aren't prepared to do any effort to get to know me.
I often feel shallow because I place so much importance in looks. As much as I try not to, I can't help it. And like in looks, I place immense value in image, and if my the perception of me gets dented, both in others' eyes, or in my own, I can be very angry with myself. I'll never show my emotions though, because I'm so attached to my image and showing any kind of emotion might dent it. I have emotions just like anyone else though. Sometimes I wish I could tell people I'm like this because of the constant sensory and mental torrent I receive, but I know that when I do, they'll simply dismiss it as an excuse, or take advantage of it.
Like Kevin, I also feel "forgettable" at times - like people will no longer realize I exist if I'm not in front of them.
I hate dishonesty or deceptive behaviour and I will get very upset (though never showing it) if people exhibit this kind of behaviour towards me.
I can't seem to put my mind at ease, often fretting over small things, and this is amplified by the constant overload of sensory input I get. Neither my mind nor my senses are ever quiet, but instead constantly rage and scream, and I often find myself rambling in monologues to people just because the thougths and impressions come too fast for me to remain quiet about them.
Hmhm, this is somewhat therapeutic.
Also, Dead Winter, look at these things I quoted:
Then read these:
You're not cold-hearted, being cold-hearted would simply be not caring even if they were in a pit of man-eating ants and couldn't escape without your help. But from what you say, you're less cold-hearted and more seething with hatred.
Just sayin'
I can never resist the urge to point out people's flaws and faults. But then, I'm equally demanding for myself as well. But seriously, everywhere I look, I see stupidity, rudeness, egoism and other annoying behaviour. It gets royally on my tits, and somehow I can't just let it go. It's bad for my heart, and it doesn't make it easy for people to feel comfortable around me.
I can't help but think of the world in terms of "better than" or "worse than". I'm having a lot of trouble thinking of people as different, or with their strengths lying elsewhere, as opposed to putting them on a one-dimensional ladder and seeing which step of that ladder I'm on. If I act hostile or dismissive towards you, chances are I see you as lower on the ladder. I'll usually be friendly with people I consider equals, and find myself awed (though not intimidated) by those I see as higher.
I'm terribly inaccessible in real life. Not really shy (although I don't always feel comfortable in groups), but rather, I send out a a kind of cold waves all the time, making it very hard for people to get to know me. Most people tell my girlfriend that they experience me as cold, closed-off, and distant. I'm usually this way when I haven't placed you on my ladder yet, and if this emanation grows more intense, it means I consider you lower than me. I do this on purpose, in a way, because I don't want to deal with people who aren't prepared to do any effort to get to know me.
I often feel shallow because I place so much importance in looks. As much as I try not to, I can't help it. And like in looks, I place immense value in image, and if my the perception of me gets dented, both in others' eyes, or in my own, I can be very angry with myself. I'll never show my emotions though, because I'm so attached to my image and showing any kind of emotion might dent it. I have emotions just like anyone else though. Sometimes I wish I could tell people I'm like this because of the constant sensory and mental torrent I receive, but I know that when I do, they'll simply dismiss it as an excuse, or take advantage of it.
Like Kevin, I also feel "forgettable" at times - like people will no longer realize I exist if I'm not in front of them.
I hate dishonesty or deceptive behaviour and I will get very upset (though never showing it) if people exhibit this kind of behaviour towards me.
I can't seem to put my mind at ease, often fretting over small things, and this is amplified by the constant overload of sensory input I get. Neither my mind nor my senses are ever quiet, but instead constantly rage and scream, and I often find myself rambling in monologues to people just because the thougths and impressions come too fast for me to remain quiet about them.
Hmhm, this is somewhat therapeutic.
Also, Dead Winter, look at these things I quoted:
Then read these:
You're not cold-hearted, being cold-hearted would simply be not caring even if they were in a pit of man-eating ants and couldn't escape without your help. But from what you say, you're less cold-hearted and more seething with hatred.
Just sayin'
Dead Winter
STAHP
But from what you say, you're less cold-hearted and more seething with hatred.
Just sayin'
Only for those deserving of my hatred,
.
Anvil
Brain Bubbled
- Jun 2, 2004
- 8,381
- 37
- 48
I'm terribly lonely.
I'm an Assistant General Manager at a restaurant, and I hate people and socializing with people.
I'm paranoid about every little physical anomaly that I have trouble sleeping.
I've injured myself so many times that I'm living in a 60 year old's body.
I can't enter into a serious relationship, which I blame on my last girlfriend cheating on me, but I think it's more the paranoia.
I can be a real asshole in person, which over the years I've been getting much better at, but somehow I always slip and don't pay attention to what I'm saying.
I regret hanging out with a lot of you, for I feel terrible for some of the things I've said and done in doing so. At the time I thought that nothing could have a bad consequence, when in reality you guys really are some of the best friends I've had in the last 4 years. It's much easier to open up to someone online.
I feel like my parents have pushed me into this great life I'm living. As if they made the initial few decisions which have put me where I am now. Even with that being said, I still treat my parents like dirt. Granted my dad and I never have gotten along, (too alike I suppose) but whenever I'm around them I just can't do anything besides give them short answers and just be an asshole. My parents use this to their advantage and walk all over me, but they're still my parents.
I'm not family oriented. At all. I've always believed that they worked hard to raise me, I might as well live this life that they helped mold to the fullest. Which I sometimes feel bad about.
I spend so much time working, and even more now taking this new job, that I have no time to myself, or my friends, or for that matter to find women. I work with dozens of beautiful women, but hold a firm belief against co-worker relationships.
I feel like I'm creating sexual harassment in the workplace all the time, but no one ever catches me on it. Maybe I'm not, and I'm just paranoid that my joking with them is a little sexist.
I get terrible migraines with aura and prodome. It's slowly creating mental instability.
I see myself in most of your posts, I guess we're not really as alone in these feelings as we think.
I'm an Assistant General Manager at a restaurant, and I hate people and socializing with people.
I'm paranoid about every little physical anomaly that I have trouble sleeping.
I've injured myself so many times that I'm living in a 60 year old's body.
I can't enter into a serious relationship, which I blame on my last girlfriend cheating on me, but I think it's more the paranoia.
I can be a real asshole in person, which over the years I've been getting much better at, but somehow I always slip and don't pay attention to what I'm saying.
I regret hanging out with a lot of you, for I feel terrible for some of the things I've said and done in doing so. At the time I thought that nothing could have a bad consequence, when in reality you guys really are some of the best friends I've had in the last 4 years. It's much easier to open up to someone online.
I feel like my parents have pushed me into this great life I'm living. As if they made the initial few decisions which have put me where I am now. Even with that being said, I still treat my parents like dirt. Granted my dad and I never have gotten along, (too alike I suppose) but whenever I'm around them I just can't do anything besides give them short answers and just be an asshole. My parents use this to their advantage and walk all over me, but they're still my parents.
I'm not family oriented. At all. I've always believed that they worked hard to raise me, I might as well live this life that they helped mold to the fullest. Which I sometimes feel bad about.
I spend so much time working, and even more now taking this new job, that I have no time to myself, or my friends, or for that matter to find women. I work with dozens of beautiful women, but hold a firm belief against co-worker relationships.
I feel like I'm creating sexual harassment in the workplace all the time, but no one ever catches me on it. Maybe I'm not, and I'm just paranoid that my joking with them is a little sexist.
I get terrible migraines with aura and prodome. It's slowly creating mental instability.
I see myself in most of your posts, I guess we're not really as alone in these feelings as we think.
Nikki
Member
I can be lonely.
I go through phases where I'm really sad sometimes, then I get really angry and stay angry.
Hard to control my temper
etc..
edit:
Sometimes I have low self-esteem
Stubborn
I go through phases where I'm really sad sometimes, then I get really angry and stay angry.
Hard to control my temper
etc..
edit:
Sometimes I have low self-esteem
Stubborn
Kvlt Wench
sews no mercy
Sometimes I can't stand up for myself. I so rarely get genuinely mad at anyone that when somebody is angry with me I start to get upset and don't know what to do.
I think that I have trust issues from so many friendships/relationships/potential relationships being ruined because the other person couldn't just tell me the truth. I can tell that it affects the way I am around my current boyfriend, and that isn't fair to him, but I can't help but worry about small things. And I have this fear that one day he's going to tell me that he's gotten tired of me and doesn't want to see me anymore (as several people have done before). Although fortunately that feeling is diminishing as we get to know and trust each other more.
I feel discriminated against because of my age. Apparently the higher-ups at my job said that they don't think I can connect with customers, even though some of the bitchiest women who shop here have complimented me. A few months ago I got my hair cut, and I was just having a normal conversation with the lady, and as soon as she asked how old I was, her tone immediately changed to "Ohhh you're so cute!" One of my coworkers does the same thing sometimes, and it's bullshit and I don't deserve it.
I don't have any close friends who live near me. This summer my best ladyfriend moved to Santa Cruz, and just recently another friend went back to LA. My boyfriend lives in Santa Rosa (about three hours away by bus), and most everyone else I know is too flaky to ever make serious plans.
And I can't stand being around groups of people unless I'm drinking.
I might think of more later, but now it's lunch time.
I think that I have trust issues from so many friendships/relationships/potential relationships being ruined because the other person couldn't just tell me the truth. I can tell that it affects the way I am around my current boyfriend, and that isn't fair to him, but I can't help but worry about small things. And I have this fear that one day he's going to tell me that he's gotten tired of me and doesn't want to see me anymore (as several people have done before). Although fortunately that feeling is diminishing as we get to know and trust each other more.
I feel discriminated against because of my age. Apparently the higher-ups at my job said that they don't think I can connect with customers, even though some of the bitchiest women who shop here have complimented me. A few months ago I got my hair cut, and I was just having a normal conversation with the lady, and as soon as she asked how old I was, her tone immediately changed to "Ohhh you're so cute!" One of my coworkers does the same thing sometimes, and it's bullshit and I don't deserve it.
I don't have any close friends who live near me. This summer my best ladyfriend moved to Santa Cruz, and just recently another friend went back to LA. My boyfriend lives in Santa Rosa (about three hours away by bus), and most everyone else I know is too flaky to ever make serious plans.
And I can't stand being around groups of people unless I'm drinking.
I might think of more later, but now it's lunch time.
I have no self-esteem.
I can't talk to girls (in terms of flirting) whatsoever because I'm afraid I'm going to stumble on my words and make myself look like either a creep or an idiot.
I'm an abrasive asshole on the outside.
I have an odd sense of morality and I have my own moral code.
My mother is very overprotective and overbearing, and as such I often have to turn down social plans only because of the fear of what she'll say when I explain to her what I'm doing or where I'm going.
I dislike change immensely.
I often feel like my friends are only using me because they know I dislike change, so I'll stay with them rather than put an axe to the "friendship".
I have bad anger issues and it's very hard to keep them under control. Many holes have been put in my wall and many dishes have been broken.
I'm tired of the society that we live, where everything is so trite and everybody is so apathetic towards doing anything with their lives - despite me being the same.
I cry and bitch about how my life sucks in terms of physical appearance but I never do anything about it. When I try to do something, I end up getting frustrated and I give up.
More later.
I can't talk to girls (in terms of flirting) whatsoever because I'm afraid I'm going to stumble on my words and make myself look like either a creep or an idiot.
I'm an abrasive asshole on the outside.
I have an odd sense of morality and I have my own moral code.
My mother is very overprotective and overbearing, and as such I often have to turn down social plans only because of the fear of what she'll say when I explain to her what I'm doing or where I'm going.
I dislike change immensely.
I often feel like my friends are only using me because they know I dislike change, so I'll stay with them rather than put an axe to the "friendship".
I have bad anger issues and it's very hard to keep them under control. Many holes have been put in my wall and many dishes have been broken.
I'm tired of the society that we live, where everything is so trite and everybody is so apathetic towards doing anything with their lives - despite me being the same.
I cry and bitch about how my life sucks in terms of physical appearance but I never do anything about it. When I try to do something, I end up getting frustrated and I give up.
More later.
I'm an arrogant bastard.
And even worse than that, I'm an arrogant bastard who has no reason to be an arrogant bastard
Well maybe I'm exaggerating, it's not as if I'm overly confident, especially not around those of the opposite sex (like.. EVERYONE). It's just I have a habit of being really condescending sometimes... bah.
And even worse than that, I'm an arrogant bastard who has no reason to be an arrogant bastard
Well maybe I'm exaggerating, it's not as if I'm overly confident, especially not around those of the opposite sex (like.. EVERYONE). It's just I have a habit of being really condescending sometimes... bah.
Dead Winter
STAHP
I'm an arrogant bastard.
And even worse than that, I'm an arrogant bastard who has no reason to be an arrogant bastard
Well maybe I'm exaggerating, it's not as if I'm overly confident, especially not around those of the opposite sex (like.. EVERYONE). It's just I have a habit of being really condescending sometimes... bah.
You're English, mang. It's in the breeding.
