Confessions

aw hell well since none of you know me (will is the only one that actually talks/talked to me for any extent) i guess i'll participate

i tend to fluctuate between periods of high self-esteem and self-confidence to low and vice-versa
i'm pretty lonely, despite having a new clean apartment with someone i care about much
subset of prior post: i have a crush on my roommate because she's just.. the first lady i've met in this godforsaken city that i actually care about
subset of subset: she's 10 years older than me.
i have a terrible time meeting people
i'm pretty shy until i get to know you a bit (to the detriment of my dating life, and all that entails)
i regularly drive like a maniac
i have a degree in international relations
i tend to meet four types of women: taken (as the good ones always are), crazy, lesbian, or crazy AND lesbian
i, too, have had a pilonidal cyst, and while a literal pain in the ass, a good surgeon can cut it out so it permanently goes away, or so my doctor told me. haven't had to pursue that avenue yet... :|
annd i can't think of anything else major

to summarize: i'm lonely, bitter, and jaded.
 
i only have maybe two or three girls from college on my new facebook and i was just looking at one of their profiles and it made me realize just how much i fucking wasted my oppurtunities there - personally, especially. i could've had so much more fun and experienced so much more if i hadn't been so fucking scared and awkward and self-conscious. i'd fucking get irritated that no one invited me to parties when, if i ever did hang out with anyone, all i'd ever really do was stand to the side not fucking saying anything

of course a lot of it was kinda feeling like i couldn't relate to most of the girls there, which i honestly couldn't, but... i guess i could've just faked it or something

if i could re-do my year and a half there, i would in a heartbeat.
 
This thread needs a bump. I feel about the same way today as I did when it was started. I'm in one of those "I don't care, nothing ever matters and never will" phases right now.

I confess that I get depressed for absolutely no reason sometimes, and although it doesn't happen as often as it used to, I've still never been able to figure it out. It just happens. It's like my brain runs out of whatever it is that balances out those feelings of not caring about anything and takes a few days to replenish it's "happy supply".

The bright side is I always make it through :)
 
Mild bi-polar.

Or at least that's what I've been diagnosed with... What you go through sounds identical to what I deal with every few weeks. I get a few days of just total and utter surrender... completely depressed for no apparent reason.
 
My head tells me to forget someone but my heart won't let me and I've been miserable for the past week or so. I'm convinced that I need to land a guy to replace the one that's the root of these issues, but haven't been able to find anyone that meets my stupidly high standards. I'm so sick of being lonely like this with heartache on top of that.

I know one day I see this and remember how silly I was for it.
 
Why not Chris?

I mean uh, no, you don't need a guy. You do need a CCTV system in your shower though. I wish to see how one becomes sufficiently clean with clothes on.
 
there are some people who make me irrationally happy. i talk to them and laugh so much and feel so wonderful... and then we have to part ways or they have to go somewhere else and i just get so depressed. like, i get as sad afterward as i was happy. i almost feel... guilty about being happy for that instant - like, that it wasn't even worth it because of how horrible i feel. i feel guilty for being happy at all.

maybe i'm just too clingy.
 
I had a long distance relationship once and it was horrible. All you do is talk on the phone or on the computer.
And you have to get the soap under the clothes for sufficient cleanliness. Or find a washing machine big enough for a human.
If you jump in a machine, you will have someone film it. And also, you took my Chris comment seriously? Or was it just general speculation on possibilities?