Jokes

[Zephyrus]

I don't get those

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MS_Estonia

 

[Vimana]

A Pole, a Mexican and an Irish guy are construction workers building a building. For lunch the Pole gets latkas, the Mexican gets a taco and the Irish guy gets a potato. They all say if they get the same lunch they will jump off the building. So the next day they get the same thing and all jump off the building. At the funeral the Mexican and the Irish guys wives are crying but the Polish guys wife is laughing. They ask her "don't you feel bad for giving him latkas every day?" And she said "he packs his own lunch."

 

[Zephyrus]

That one's a classic.

 

[FenriR]

It fails teh funnehs though.

 

[Killbot]

Or lack of dentists.

How would that promote paedophilia?

 

[panzerfaust666]

How would that promote paedophilia?

perhaps he means that none of the kids have teeth, making the whole pedophilia much easier...

 

[Vimana]

Wrong.

How would that promote paedophilia?

The adults are ugly and have messed up teeth. Haha.

 

[Killbot]

Surely the kids would have similar problems.

 

[waif]

It fails teh funnehs though.

Indeed it does.

Surely the kids would have similar problems.

According to GFAD, he didn't develop shitty British teeth until recently, so maybe it's only present among adults and teenagers...

 

[Killbot]

Well my teeth seem to be fine... I'll give it a few years and report back.

 

[angelic-rage]

You wouldnt have done that if that one weren't yours

---

Three men were hiking in the jungles of Africa. Before they sensed any danger, a tribe of cannibals captured them. The cannibals said they were going to kill them, eat their flesh, and use their skin to make canoes. However, the cannibals said they had a little mercy, and offered them the chance to choose any weapon of choice and kill themselves.

The first man asked for a gun. The cannibals gave it to him and he shot himself in the head.

The second man asked for a knife. The cannibals gave it to him and he stabbed himself in the heart.

The third man asked for a fork. The cannibals were confused, and asked him why. He responded by telling them that they promised to give him any weapon. The cannibals then gave him the weapon. Afterwards, the third man started poking the fork into his skin and making holes all over his body. He shouted in cynical humor:

"Damn your canoes!"

--
edit: oh, thought you linked to the thread

i dont get it :S

 

[rms]

A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods in Sweden,when all of a sudden a frog jumps right in front of them,so they both stop. The frog explains that he is a magical frog and that he will grant them three wishes each.
"Make your wishes",he says.
For his first wish the bear says;"i wish that all bears in Sweden turn into female bears!" The rabbit says;"i wish for a leather jacket". For his second wish the bear says;"i wish all bears in Scandinavia turn into female bears!" The rabbit says;"i wish for a Harley". For his third and final wish the bear says;"i wish all bears in the world turn into female bears!" The rabbit says;"i wish the bear turns gay" and rides his Harley into the sunset.

you got it wrong! or atleast the swedish version is different. It's a helmet, harley for the rabbit. then bear says all women, all love him, and something else, rabbit wishes the bears are men

 

[ThisIsACoolName]

I've always heard it the way Mattson told it. Except for the part about it being Sweden.

 

[waif]

I've never heard it, but Mattson's way sounds funnier than rms's.

 

[False Joe]

According to GFAD, he didn't develop shitty British teeth until recently, so maybe it's only present among adults and teenagers...

This is true.

Though rather than britishness it's more laziness on my behalf not to clean properly.

 

[entanglement]

i dont get it :S

holes in his skin would mean that the canoes built from it to have holes too. they'd sink.

 

[Vimana]

Hooray for America for having orthodontists that aren't too expensive.

 

[False Joe]

Hooray for America for having orthodontists that aren't too expensive.

Dentists?

Free while you're in full time education.

Actually that might explain the adult fucked up teeth thing. Costs an arm and a leg after leaving education.

 

[The Ozzman]

Dentists?

Obviously not if it's an orthodontist

 

[False Joe]

Obviously not if it's an orthodontist

Never been to one. Wasn't aware there was a difference. I thought he was doing the classic "Lets look intelligent on the internet by using large words".