UM men: how does being into metal affect you dating life?

[Hell Awaits Us All]

yea I suppose

man, the more and more I think about it, the key to picking up very attractive girls is to try as many of them as possible who are remotely attracted to you. You can generally tell if a girl is attracted to you through body language

get 3 or 4 numbers a week and call all of them the next thursday, see if any of them want to go out. You'll eventually succeed that way, which is what I am going to start doing

it's actually pretty easy for me to get the number of good looking girls, I am just often too much of a pussy to act on that and make it work.

 

[Alter]

yea I suppose

man, the more and more I think about it, the key to picking up very attractive girls is to try as many of them as possible who are remotely attracted to you. You can generally tell if a girl is attracted to you through body language

get 3 or 4 numbers a week and call all of them the next thursday, see if any of them want to go out. You'll eventually succeed that way, which is what I am going to start doing

it's actually pretty easy for me to get the number of good looking girls, I am just often too much of a pussy to act on that and make it work.

aurora does not have hot chicks...i should know.

 

[The Ozzman]

........dude no way.

WAI!

I don't plan on marrying until I am at least 30. Fuck the starting early bullshit.

aurora does not have hot chicks...i should know.

Cincinnati has some hot chicks, but all of them are taken.

 

[Hell Awaits Us All]

aurora does not have hot chicks...i should know.

I find a decent amount of them at work, school, gym, malls, etc...

at this point, I am merely concerned with casual sex/relationship. I will worry about serious relationship in 2 or 3 years.

 

[Matt]

I will marry when I find someone that I feel is 'too good to pass up' per se. If I never find that person then fine, I don't worry about it at all/

 

[Vossyrus]

I am single, and currently have no plans to be with anyone. Problem is, unlike most people I am not looking for a casual (and inevitably temporary) girlfriend. I do not believe in true love since I think there is potential to find that (so-called) with thousands of people, depending on 'chance' and everything that happens in your life. I do believe that however, if you're going to be with someone than that person should be the type to take a bullet for you (literally? well along that degree of seriousness) and vice-versa. Maybe by today's standards that sounds fictional or exaggerated, but it's only because society has lost so much in morals and been so degraded to what it is now.

 

[MasterOLightning]

I don't think it's abnormal at all to not have been in a relationship by 20 or 23. For the vast majority of people, there are going to be maturity issues or life stage issues until you get into your mid-20s. Besides, having a lifelong relationship that starts in your teens is extremely improbable. It's reasonable enough to wait until you are older and the time is right to have a relationship, and avoid all the turmoil that comes with relationships at a young age.

 

[Vossyrus]

wow that is pretty extreme, alot of people get married by 23.

23? Today that and even younger seems normal, as does giving birth when you're 16 or losing your virginity when you're only 13.

 

[The Ozzman]

I am single, and currently have no plans to be with anyone. Problem is, unlike most people I am not looking for a casual (and inevitably temporary) girlfriend. I do not believe in true love since I think there is potential to find that (so-called) with thousands of people, depending on 'chance' and everything that happens in your life. I do believe that however, if you're going to be with someone than that person should be the type to take a bullet for you (literally? well along that degree of seriousness) and vice-versa. Maybe by today's standards that sounds fictional or exaggerated, but it's only because society has lost so much in morals and been so degraded to what it is now.

I don't think it's abnormal at all to not have been in a relationship by 20 or 23. For the vast majority of people, there are going to be maturity issues or life stage issues until you get into your mid-20s. Besides, having a lifelong relationship that starts in your teens is extremely improbable. It's reasonable enough to wait until you are older and the time is right to have a relationship, and avoid all the turmoil that comes with relationships at a young age.

Both of these are excellent posts.

 

[MasterOLightning]

23? Today that and even younger seems normal, as does giving birth when you're 16 or losing your virginity when you're only 13.

You do realize that all of these things are probably less common now that at any point in human history, right?

The average age of marriage continues to rise. It's somewhere around 29-30 for men and 26-27 for women. I'm pretty sure about 50% percent of people lose their virginity before age 18, and that's a decline from about 20 years ago. Teen pregnancy is pretty much also at a low point in the last 40 years.

 

[Vossyrus]

Well that was also the norm 100 years ago too.

I think we as a society are still going through the phase of sexual liberation after a very long period of various sorts of oppression (some of which still exist today), so it's only natural for a certain number of people to 'go all out' in a sense as far as sex and relationships are concerned. I think that it will eventually die down in a generation or two and mostly likely be the exception rather than the norm.

Yes, of course it was normal but the mentality was completely different and with today's knowledge it seems less reasonable. I'm not saying it's wrong but I don't care for that sort of lifestyle. Why bring a child into a life when the parents aren't mature enough to support it? - you're only doing the child harm. With today's education and such, people are more than aware of it. And I think casual sex is somewhat negative because as I mentioned earlier, it brings down morals and I find it sad/terrible when girls are so "easy" and a group of guys can say 'been there, done that.' But I agree with the 'phase' that it seems we are enduring (sex is everywhere, and is even a key factor in advertising) but to be honest, I don't see things getting much better.

 

[Vossyrus]

You do realize that all of these things are probably less common now that at any point in human history, right?

The average age of marriage continues to rise. It's somewhere around 29-30 for men and 26-27 for women. I'm pretty sure about 50% percent of people lose their virginity before age 18, and that's a decline from about 20 years ago. Teen pregnancy is pretty much also at a low point in the last 40 years.

Well, of course in both cases these are generalizations but from most people I know in my area, those statistics don't apply or don't fit in accurately so my perspective is quite different.

 

[The Heartbreak Kid]

WAI!

I don't plan on marrying until I am at least 30. Fuck the starting early bullshit.

Thats if you can even find a bird. Considering you've never had a girlfriend.

 

[XYZ]

Considering you've never had a girlfriend.

Nothing wrong in that at all. Live and let live. Why this pressure to have been with someone prior to 20, or 15, or 25, whatever you see fit? The key word being you (see fit); more people than you think are single and have been single all their lives at the age of 23.
Metal was never meant to align itself with cultural norms (the fact that it did is another story) - the genre, if anything, should give room for some freedom to sidestep what society considers normal (by a certain age, in this case). Most early relationships tend to be shallow and I see no reason why someone shouldn't wait a few more years for stability. Go out and get fucked, then go out and get settled. Which is what we tend to do. Those who aren't into casual sex will therefore procrastinate things a little and wait for something more meaningful down the road.
While we do certain things earlier in life - shag - we postpone the other things such as stable relationship/marriage/career for instance. Therefore, it's perfectly reasonable to avoid the "high school sweethearts" phase.
Also, take into account that we live in a "computer age", wherein social skills are slowly beginning to fade as we lock ourselves inside and shield ourselves with the screen in front of us. There's a higher emphasis on comfort today than there was even ten years ago, and people just can't seem to find their balls out in real life the way they used or had to, previously.
Then again, are those inclined to shallow relationships (younger folks) worth finding your balls for?

 

[The Ozzman]

Thats if you can even find a bird. Considering you've never had a girlfriend.

You're just like my friends, it seems. I'll find someone, it's just a matter of:

1) Moving out of this awful, awful city
2) Starting to actually care

The fact that I haven't had a girlfriend has no bearing on whether or not I will have one in the future. There is no correlation at all.

 

[Alter]

I find a decent amount of them at work, school, gym, malls, etc...

at this point, I am merely concerned with casual sex/relationship. I will worry about serious relationship in 2 or 3 years.

Woodfeild?

 

[Death Aflame]

you are 20 and single all your life? do you never intend on having a g/f or anything?

Well pretty much. Believe me, I have tried on numerous occasions to rectify this with girls that I really was interested in. However they all lead to dead ends before anything could really begin. One turned me down flatly after I had been friends with her for a couple of years and another one, last summer, didn't go anywhere because I felt much the same as I described in my previous post. That is, my desire to have an actual relationship (and thus, in my naive mind, relieving my loneliness) was stronger than my desire for the girl herself. It took me awhile to figure out this truth but once I did I decided that it was not fair to the girl to be doing this for the wrong reasons, not to mention it wouldn't be fair to myself.

That basically leads me to today, and yes I am still single at 20. Personally I am not ashamed of this, as many of the teenage relationships I have witnessed through friends and such have just turned into immature disasters (for example, my one buddy was dumped on his prom by his gf of 2 years). Also, I despise the idea that relationships, especially once they become sexual, should be treated like notches in a toolbelt. I don't care if I am ever only with one girl in my entire life as long as it is the right girl. However, I do concede that many people are not this lucky and that they may 'go through' many partners just trying to find the right one. Their is nothing wrong with this either IMO.

Anyways I am done ranting now. Also thanks to those who didn't rip me to shreds .

 

[Manic Ferocity]

Ha same except I'm 17. I constantly get into dead ends with girls and never once has it worked out in my favor.

 

[cookiecutter]

I am pretty much in agreement with all of you.

 

[ohiogrinder]

Might as well have been me talking here.

yeah, and I agree. the girl I'm with I'm still unsure if she's "the one". but time will tell.