Black Metal.

There's no point arguing with him about this Internally Deformed, he's had countless debates with CIG on the subject of modern Darkthrone.

Actually you should go ahead because his verbose insults are amazing and entertaining to read.
 
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There's not point arguing with him about this Internally Deformed, he's had countless debates with CIG in the subject of modern Darkthrone.

Actually you should go ahead because his verbose insults are amazing and entertaining to read.

Okay, I'll give it a shot.

I actually used to dislike modern Darkthrone, back when I listened to Black Metal, a little bit of Death Metal and pretty much nothing else. It's when I developed an appreciation of Trad that I returned to them and realised just what awesome albums they are. They've basically taken everything that I like about old school heavy metal, but stripped away the underlying fagginess and replaced it with an ironic black metal crustiness that's a hundred times cooler.
 
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They act like they're bringing back the hallowed 80's trad metal gloriousness, meanwhile there's innumerable other bands doing the same retro metal schtick, only inestimably better.

Really? In my experience most retro acts suck balls, because they don't do anything other than ape their influences. Darkthrone's idea of fusing black metal with trad is pretty unique.
 
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I'm a ridiculous freak over trad metal, love it. But what Darkthrone does with it? Drives me frigging nuts. They act like they're bringing back the hallowed 80's trad metal gloriousness, meanwhile there's innumerable other bands doing the same retro metal schtick, only inestimably better. Thus turning a band that was once a maverick source of great black metal and overall musical brilliance, into a schmaltzy, hokey-doke foundry of gratuitous, unadulterated, derpy faggotry. Pitchfork and all the other pencil-dick hipster dish rags can jump in a lake of liquid sarin and arsenic-laced thumbtacks for holding those recorded examples of how to not play decent retro metal up as critical masterstrokes.

This goes down as one of the most tryhard things that I've ever read and I don't even listen to this band.
 
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Fenriz's vocals are brilliant and hilarious, partly because Fenriz knows they suck and just doesn't give a shit, which conversely makes them good. Contrast that to most heavy metal bands, where precisely the opposite state of affairs pertains. Also vocals are the most superficial aspect of metal's repertoire and not a particularly good reason for disliking a band/album (unless they're Grave Digger).

Also whoever these retro bands are that you like, you're going to have to link some because I'm hard put to think of any that I think are actually good.
 
His vocals aren't good because of the irony, they're good because they're fun and the crumminess matches the tone of the music. Fenriz isn't some hipster fag using irony to mask an absence of real talent, he's just someone who doesn't give a shit what people think. Also sordid is a good word to describe newer Darkthrone, and isn't particularly pejorative in this context. My advice to you is not to allow your expectations to dictate your response to music, but simply to take it as it comes.

I'll make sure to check those two bands out, here's hoping they aren't boring.
 
Actually you should go ahead because his verbose insults are amazing and entertaining to read.

No kidding, lol.

The drug dealers I've seen in NYC told me that ice is fun, that doesn't mean I'm gonna go "SURE PAL" the moment they try to offer me some.

Crystal Meth probably is a hell of a lot of fun though. Listening to modern Darkthrone probably doesn't cave in your cheeks and age you by decades, although admittedly I have been looking a little gaunt recently.

If the steaming turd Harambe errantly chucks at his cage wall matches the spotty, brown paint-job, that doesn't mean the turd stinks less or the painters who did the wall were any less inept.

Honestly this criticism is on the same level as people who criticise Death Metal for not having "proper" vocals. Modern Darkthrone would sound ludicrous with a polished and preening NWOBHM singer. Also if you think the music itself sucks (rather than just the vocals), you should make that clear rather than exhibiting neurotic levels of aversion to the vocals alone.

expeditions into retro metal is what I'm subjected to by what's supposed to one of the finest black metal bands ever

Darkthrone already gave us at least 4 albums of quality bm, plus one solid death metal record, which is more than any of the other Norwegian 2nd wave bands managed. If every album since then had just been a repeat of Under a Funeral Moon the result would have been boring as fuck, not to mention less original than a novel take on a retro style.
 
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Modern Darkthrone's take on traditional metal is to remove all the posing, showmanship and flashy musicianship and replace it with an unpolished and personal take on metal.

It's almost as if it's not written for the outside world to hear.

Anyway, ID there's no point arguing with him, he's stubborn and irrational.
 
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