The Official Movie Thread

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aka COVID: THE MOVIE!
 
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stop your slutting around with letterboxd and update your criticker, thanks

I have been thinking about updating my criticker so Barthalen and whoever else follows me doesn't think I'm dead. Still, since I moved to letterboxd I'm not sure why you prefer criticker. Letterboxd has all the informal joke reviews of criticker but also a lot more long analytical ones, and a bigger userbase overall.
 
I have been thinking about updating my criticker so Barthalen and whoever else follows me doesn't think I'm dead. Still, since I moved to letterboxd I'm not sure why you prefer criticker. Letterboxd has all the informal joke reviews of criticker but also a lot more long analytical ones, and a bigger userbase overall.

there’s stuff i prefer about letterboxd don’t get me wrong, but things i like about criticker are:
- it seems almost completely immune/oblivious to developments of the last 10-15 years. there’s none of that woke circle jerking social media aspect and i swear everyone on there is over 30 years old, whereas everyone on letterboxd is 17 and probably posts on instagram about how based ocasio-cortez is (slight generalisation). it’s nice to get a break from that whole vibe sometimes.

- it’s by far the best recommendation engine that exists anywhere. scarily accurate (and customisable) algorithm, fully filterable database catered to you, i’d absolutely kill for a music version. i’m not sure if you’ve ever had enough ratings to feel the full benefit of this, i think once i started pushing over 1000 it really started to get me, and these days it’s eerie how well it knows me sometimes.

- i think there are more users on there whose tastes truly interest me, although a lot of them don’t/rarely review sadly. my network on there is definitely more knowledgeable and less inclined to buy into hype and such. plus iconogassed is my favourite movie person to the point that i have all his high end ratings saved in case he or the site ever vanishes.

- it’s super autist friendly of course. i love all the little statistical stuff you can play with as a premium member. and i love being able to fuck around with my scale, if you couldn’t tell.

- i also like how the site is run; there’s no cunty moderation (unlike letterboxd which has caused loads of people to leave), they fix bugs really quickly, they do so little to force subscription on you that it’s easy to not even know it’s an option. nice layout too for the most part imo, not as good as letterboxd but better than fucking rym or whatever.

- i’ve had pm conversations with several people on there like iconogassed, theficionado, paolofilmo, schnofel, mentaculus, karamazov., djross/lumpnboy, darren/seethruskin (genuinely can’t remember which creepy twin lol), etc, which isn’t possible on lboxd.
 
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it seems almost completely immune/oblivious to developments of the last 10-15 years. there’s none of that woke circle jerking social media aspect and i swear everyone on there is over 30 years old, whereas everyone on letterboxd is 17 and probably posts on instagram about how based ocasio-cortez is (slight generalisation). it’s nice to get a break from that whole vibe sometimes.

I guess this is what happens to the userbase when you omit vowels from the site name.
 
probably a long shot but would anyone be interested in some kind of movie club thread, where the participants each pick a movie for everyone to watch in a certain month (or 3 months or whatever) and then we post our thoughts/ratings for each? it could be themed like the mixtape game if people wanted. i'm guessing there would be few participants so it wouldn't be a huge time commitment, and i would include some qualifiers like your selection needs to either be available on streaming services (i realise this can be dicey with regional restrictions but we could figure it out) or you need to provide a download link (i'd potentially be willing to do this for other people's picks as i have access to most stuff). thoughts?
 
probably a long shot but would anyone be interested in some kind of movie club thread, where the participants each pick a movie for everyone to watch in a certain month (or 3 months or whatever) and then we post our thoughts/ratings for each? it could be themed like the mixtape game if people wanted. i'm guessing there would be few participants so it wouldn't be a huge time commitment, and i would include some qualifiers like your selection needs to either be available on streaming services (i realise this can be dicey with regional restrictions but we could figure it out) or you need to provide a download link (i'd potentially be willing to do this for other people's picks as i have access to most stuff). thoughts?

I'd give it a shot....count me in
 
I’m working from home today. I’m home alone and drinking some beers and watching shit movies on tubi and I looked up and bust out laughing like a retard to this

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I’m the king of the garbage dump.
 
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Saw Michael Bay's new movie Ambulance last night. Holy shit, one for the action heads!

Is he trying to make up for years of making those dogshit Transformers abominations? He went all out. Full on throwback to over-the-top 90's action thrillers like Heat, Speed and Bad Boys rolled together. From what I could tell it relied heavily on real explosions, real stuntwork, real car wrecks, and the camera work is done with drones for a lot of the movie so the angles are fucking insane. It's like Michael Bay went full Scarface with coke while making this. Helicopter chases, a massive cast, David Ayer-esque L.A. gangsters, funny buddy movie banter. Sits comfortably beside modern post-Heat movies like Den of Thieves, Triple 9, Sabotage etc.

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@RadicalThrasher and @TechnicalBarbarity in particular will have their tits blown off with this one.