I've king of gotten out of the habit of posting my movie watchings here, but I just went on a huge rant about Alice in Wonderland so I'll share it here if anyone is interested.
Alice in Wonderland - Gonna completely "spoil" this movie because well there's really nothing to spoil, it pretty much spells itself out from the beginning. Anyways onto the rant. First of all way to go Tim Burton for completely and totally misunderstanding the original story (not that I'm an expert), and basically turning Alice in Wonderland into a cookie cutter action fantasy film. There's nothing non-sensical or logical about this at all, it's all vague fantasy. Actually this isn't even Alice in Wonderland, but Jabberwocky turned into a film. Except all the cool vagueness of the poem is turned into a quite literal prophecy, Alice must slay the Jabberwocky with the vorpal sword on the frabjous day. Basically turns the poem into a bunch of silly titles for a stock fantasy film, the Jabberwocky for example is basically a dragon. Also every single reference from Alice in Wonderland is basically put in quotes and just there for the sake of reference or readily explained afterwords. Again not familiar with the story, but all the interpretations I've seen the enjoyment is in Alice wandering through this non-sense world trying to make sense of this. This basically just takes all the characters and as I've said 1 million times turns them into cliche stock fantasy film characters.
But wait, I haven't gotten to the best part yet. After this horrible waste of time is over, and Alice realizes that she has to face reality, she returns to the real world, basically gives a fuck you to everyone and closes the film with, and I kid you not, a brilliant idea to open a trade route from Britain to China. Now my history knowledge isn't too powerful, but am I mistaken or did Tim Burton just end Alice in Wonderland with Alice being the inspiration for the fucking Opium Wars between Britain and China where Britain forced China to open up free trade with them, got them all addicted to opium for profit, while simultaneously westernizing them and helping destroy their culture. WHAT THE FUCK! I mean opium/Alice in wonderland I suppose if I was in a thinking mood I could device some elaborate subtext that Tim Burton might have been thinking, but my initial reaction is, Are you that fucking lost in your own world Tim Burton!? Did you just decide to throw in some random historical-ish event and not research it at all? My fucking god.
Side Note: Some cool visuals, but shit that should've been awesome like the Jabberwocky was boring as hell, and basically all the CGI characters looked like turd.
/rant
