It is interesting the number of people that would chose Metal over love- now that is commitment. I personally am not that obsessed, nor ever will be obsessed with any form of music. Music isnt my life, just a small part of it- but it seems it encompasses other peoples lives.
Will you be ashamed of metal when you become middle aged?
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C-Taylor
Conscious Insanity
You just need to sort time foryour own needs, her needs and wants, and both of your needs and wants... ofcourse listening to black metal and the sort wouldnt be deemed healthy... do it in your own free time, but dont give it up because someone doesnt agree with it, outside music, do whatever you feel should and live normally, but besides that, sort time to dedicate to your intrests..
Fourka
Forget it
I don't think is a matter of music...I think it is a matter of whether you are willing to change yourself because of others...and especially at a point that you will be ashamed of you like you are now...music is a part of it. For some, music is playing a major role in their lives. But, I still know some people that have only ONE cd and they have nothing to do with music (whatever musci this is)...strange...cannot understand them...but then again, I don't care.
Ultimate_Symphony
Rusted Angel
- Jul 18, 2002
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Fourka said:
That's exactly the point. That ''someone'' should accept you the way you are. If you want to stop listening to metal, good for you, but you shouldn't change because you're in love with someone that doesn't like metal.
SculptedCold
-scented manbeef-
Yesm! It kinda reminds me of that Friends episode where Emily demands Ross stop being around Rachel if they're going to get engaged or whatevah. I wouldn't see the decision of love or metal being (fairly) up to you either, it's more to do with the other person.
I personally wouldn't sacrifice any of my listening habits for the sake of a girlfriend or the chance of romantic love. Of course, i'd take 'true' love (loose term) over a sacrifice of metal, but then again, i'd never get to a state of 'true' love (loose term) without having already passed the stepping stone of what I listen to.
So....the question is almost irrelevant to meh.
I personally wouldn't sacrifice any of my listening habits for the sake of a girlfriend or the chance of romantic love. Of course, i'd take 'true' love (loose term) over a sacrifice of metal, but then again, i'd never get to a state of 'true' love (loose term) without having already passed the stepping stone of what I listen to.
So....the question is almost irrelevant to meh.
Timmeth
Secret Agent Man
no country for old wainds
Active Member
- Nov 23, 2002
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I'm sure that my tastes will change many times during my life, and I'm sure that isn't such a bad thing. Whether it's metal or not, of course I won't be ashamed of listening to what I like. I'd be more ashamed of myself if I stopped listening to it. My mum is 49, my dad is 40, and they both openly love metal. I don't think age is a factor - being ashamed is silly.
Orion Crystal Ice
Rider of the Astral Fire
Voice of God
Harmless Bum
speed said:
If the other person is making you choose, then she/he is putting the music over love too, so why not do the same.
Well i suppose I was missunderstood or misspoke myself- I just observed that many people on this board seemed as if they would dump their wife - girlfriend( or boyfriend whatever) because the wife or girlfriend didnt like metal.
I just saw a lot of statements saying, I would never pick a relationship over my love of metal- and such a statement seemed quite odd to me.
It seemed some were saying they would only marry or go out with someone that also loved metal- and that seems really odd to me. If one looks around- there arent too many chicks that like metal- and those that do are usually in their early 30's.- or Marilyn Manson freaks( a generalized opinion of mine). - so you eliminate a large segment of the population.
I am merely saying, I wouldnt risk a rewarding relationship for the sake of a form of music- yet, that is my opinion. As we all know- good relationships should(or must) be quite dynamic, usually no matter how much the other hates something the other loved one hates- they learn to accept it- and if they dont accept say metal- then I agree with you- maybe the relationship is flawed and should end. And you know this is what dating is for- alot of people really would break up with another because they dont like metal.
I just saw a lot of statements saying, I would never pick a relationship over my love of metal- and such a statement seemed quite odd to me.
It seemed some were saying they would only marry or go out with someone that also loved metal- and that seems really odd to me. If one looks around- there arent too many chicks that like metal- and those that do are usually in their early 30's.- or Marilyn Manson freaks( a generalized opinion of mine). - so you eliminate a large segment of the population.
I am merely saying, I wouldnt risk a rewarding relationship for the sake of a form of music- yet, that is my opinion. As we all know- good relationships should(or must) be quite dynamic, usually no matter how much the other hates something the other loved one hates- they learn to accept it- and if they dont accept say metal- then I agree with you- maybe the relationship is flawed and should end. And you know this is what dating is for- alot of people really would break up with another because they dont like metal.
Lycanthrope
Member
Take some advice from a married man. Never hook up with ANYONE who wants to change you. My wife and I accept one another for who we are. That's why we got married. The only reason I could see someone being content to be with a person who wanted to change them, is if they lacked respect for themselves. If a person does not accept you for who you are, they cannot truly respect you either.
If your partner ever says to you 'it's me or metal', cut 'em loose! They obviously don't appreciate you or respect you, not to mention that their desire to mold you into what they want is indicative of some serious psychological/emotional issues that they need to work out - most likely with a therapist or counselor. Besides, it's petty, shallow, and just downright mean to treat your mate like a commodity rather than a partner. If you compromise your character for a mate, you will eventually come to resent them for it, either consciously or subconsciously. It may take years to manifest, but it will happen. It's best not to even go down that road. Do yourself a favor and hold out for that special someone who loves you for you - idiosyncracies and all!
If your partner ever says to you 'it's me or metal', cut 'em loose! They obviously don't appreciate you or respect you, not to mention that their desire to mold you into what they want is indicative of some serious psychological/emotional issues that they need to work out - most likely with a therapist or counselor. Besides, it's petty, shallow, and just downright mean to treat your mate like a commodity rather than a partner. If you compromise your character for a mate, you will eventually come to resent them for it, either consciously or subconsciously. It may take years to manifest, but it will happen. It's best not to even go down that road. Do yourself a favor and hold out for that special someone who loves you for you - idiosyncracies and all!
\m/
I Die Slowly
As long as rock/metal continues to evolve I will always be listening to it. Yes, one day our favourite bands will call it quits but we will still continue to listen to their music regardless of what anyone (especially our damn weiner kids) think. I think the internet is great for this because we are constantly exposed to new talent and younger bands. Yes I think it will be odd to be 40 and listening to a band that is 20, but hey, its the music that matters. I love hearing something that makes me want to smash things, its cathartic and releases that emotion positively. At the same time its important to be open to new sounds because we'll always have something to listen to that way. I would have never listened to 30 Seconds to Mars or Dredg otherwise (both great bands). So, this is the course I choose to stay.
In terms of music effecting a relationship, my last girlfriend and I were into the exact same type of music. But in regards to the next girl I only have one thing to say about that. A girl can hate every band I listen to but one, The Tea Party, as long as she can even remotely tolerate them, I'm good. But I'll still subject her to Strapping Young Lad everytime she hops in the car.
In terms of music effecting a relationship, my last girlfriend and I were into the exact same type of music. But in regards to the next girl I only have one thing to say about that. A girl can hate every band I listen to but one, The Tea Party, as long as she can even remotely tolerate them, I'm good. But I'll still subject her to Strapping Young Lad everytime she hops in the car.
Necros
Die, Die My Darling
Listen grasshopper to your wise teacher..........I am 45 now and listen to more extreme music now than ever, much more! Mainly last 5yrs through internet stores and message boards I have discovered tons of great dark metal that I would never had been exposed to through normal channels.
I have no rebellious streak to let out, its all about the music man
BTW, your wife shouldn't tell you what music to listen to.....he he
(I believe they call that pussy whipped)
I have no rebellious streak to let out, its all about the music man
BTW, your wife shouldn't tell you what music to listen to.....he he
(I believe they call that pussy whipped)
Necros
Die, Die My Darling
Listen grasshopper to your wise teacher..........I am 45 now and listen to more extreme music now than ever, much more! Mainly last 5yrs through internet stores and message boards I have discovered tons of great dark metal that I would never had been exposed to through normal channels.
I have no rebellious streak to let out, its all about the music man
BTW, your wife shouldn't tell you what music to listen to.....he he
(I believe they call that pussy whipped)
I have no rebellious streak to let out, its all about the music man
BTW, your wife shouldn't tell you what music to listen to.....he he
(I believe they call that pussy whipped)
Psychonaut
God Of Emptiness
I probably stop listening to music all together when I hit middle age... I probably would be totally deaf by then with all the heavy metal. Or maybe I won't even live that long. The severe neck and brain injuries from headbanging would probably kill me in 3-4 years. BANZAI
This is one of the better threads I have seen as of late. I'm 20 at the moment so I don't know if I'll stop listening to metal when I reach middle age (if I live that long). So many people claim that they'll be fans of <insert band here> for life but how often is that true? I can't predict the future, I can't say what will happen but I suppose I will still listen to metal in the foreseeable future.speed said:
Metal can be interpreted as either an art form or just a manifestation of empty rebellion and aggresssion, different people have their reasons for listening to it. I appreciate it for both reasons... while I like metal as an art form, sometimes I also see it as an 'outlet'. By the time I reach middle age, maybe my priorities will change and I will no longer need to use metal as an 'outlet'. However I'll probably still appreciate the artistic side of it, who knows?
At the moment I probably can't imagine a 40 year old married man with kids cranking up Deicide, it's probably not too good for the kids. As for being ashamed of metal, well I don't think you should actually be embarrassed about listening to it, but I can imagine it to be somewhat embarrassing to be the only middle aged person at a gig full of teenagers.
