It's still pretty bad dude, you are not doing it right, and it seams like it's too low, that's the barking technique you are trying to do, it's a technique for shorter growling, but it can be pretty "eloquent" if you are really good at it. it's a very loud technique so you need a human compressor in your throat, not to fuck up the level variation, not go from normal to too loud or too low.