Not-so-good-and-old "How do you feel" thread

[Tranquillian]

IF: Thoroughly fucked (up)

 

[Sunjammer]

Tranquillian: And why is that?

 

[Caelestia]

i'd give everyone who's sad a hug if i could.

 

[Caelestia]

nf: laughing my bum off. my friend may have an ear infection so he biked around looking for a doctor. since the clinic wasn't open yet, he went to a drugstore to buy some aspirin. he walked in, asked the girl if they have any panadol, and she said yes. by then, his ear was totally blocked and he could barely hear. she went to grab a box from the cabinet, he paid for it and left. as he was leaving, he wondered why the box was so odd. so he removed it from his pocket and realized what he'd bought:

Durex - excita ribbed - 3 ribbed condoms

 

[fireangel]

the politics thread was bumped after the attack in madrid, but aside from hyena, lina, |ngenius, and me, everyone else just drops by and watches us in a very embarrassed way.

wait, that´s not exactly true. I don´t watch it from afar, and I am very interested in politics (well, since I study it I´d better be), but participating in this thread usually takes a lot of time. When you want to really debate and post meaningful stuff, and consider other´s arguments, reply with others and so on, it just needs an incredible amount of time, at least in my view. And I don´t have that. If I´d post all what I think in this thread, well-based on literature and research, I could aswell deliver it as my dissertation.
And if I just post my opinion, meaning not specifically researched or based on links to english-speaking newspapers (that was there all the time also in the war-discussion, not just now) then someone else comes up with another opinion, ask me where I have my reasons from, and it had not led to anything.

I read the thread, but actually: I do have my opinion and theories on a lot of things, but atm I am usually too lazy to try to convince anyone of them with a lot of effort, or just prove my views with material available to everyone on the net. And from what I noticed by reading is, that a lot of people with different opinion anyhow wouldn´t change it through reading my posts (I remember this feeling also from other politics-threads on UM, I don´t mean specifically the one at DT-board) because they just can´t see that point of view, not even consider it while keeping their own beliefs. For not being so close-minded, it doesn´t help reading posts, but studying a lot of material for example about reasons for conflicts, economical issues, going and travelling the world and being willing not to see the own views only.
Since most people don´t do that, and rather come up with what they get from TV (and keep repeating it over and over), I just don´t bother anymore. You´d need to force them into opening their eyes, and I can´t. So I´ll just go on my way and try to act according to what I think needs to be done in this world. I am fine with discussing politics in a real talk, but writing it all down while at the same time my "real" work piles up, that seems not useful to me.

Note. I was considering to post this right in the very thread, but then, it started here, so I thought I reply here, too.

 

[hyena]

aaaah, rejection. spice of life.

don't feel like relating details, but it wasn't horrible. boy strange was considerate and reasonable. which of course tightens the noose.

now, on with the armored bears. rahve, i'm writing to you.

 

[Tranquillian]

Tranquillian: And why is that?

Du kan dra bort up så kommer du närmare sanningen.

 

[Tebus]

@tebs, rahve: i remember discussing this at lenght with someone - after all i think that the lack of balance in emotions, normally emerging when we're close to someone we love with no reciprocation, can be stifled with the usual iron will thingy. i don't practice what i preach, but i think that one can try.

You've hit it on the head with lack of reciprocation. I like to try to befriend someone first before I go for anything beyond that. But the turmoil of proceeding in this way can sometimes be very strong. Even if I tell myself I'm fine if nothing developes between this girl and I, that is not what my unconscious motives are. And this whole thing hits at the very root of human nature, so the iron will thing is extremely difficult.

There are 2 issues that kind of make it a little more interesting than it otherwise would be. There are 2 girls that I have this kind of relationship going on with. It's not something I want to deal with, but I just happen to be friends with 2 girls that I find extremely attractive, and both are single. One of them lives in my building, and we've been watching some thought provoking movies. I've been doing that in the hopes of really getting to know her and that she might possibly get to know a lot about me and the way I think. I always say to myself, at least I'll get a good friend out of this, but it's so hard for me to actually accept that for some reason.

The other issue mainly involves the other girl, who I work with. I know her pretty well at this point, however the reason I know her well is because she has been trying to help me in how to go about this situation with the girl in my building. But in the process of getting to know the girl at work, I've started to grow more of an attraction to her too. But the thing that makes it even worse, is that my best friend here has told me that there may be something developing between him and the girl at work, and he cannot say exactly what is going on. So now jealousy is adding into the mix. Really the whole situation is just disgusting. I wish I could just throw away all desire to have a relationship with anyone. But I have yet to have found a way to permanently hold that desire at bay, hence the never ending rollercoaster ride.

 

[mousewings]

@Sunjammer: hang in there. Things will get better. I used to not have a job, no significant other, and was depressed.. but things got better for me and I did find work.
Also be grateful you do have friends around, as some people don't.


NF: I feel lonely. I just realised today that I've been working at my job for almost a month. This is a good thing... but the bad part is I also realised my best friend hasn't come to visit me once even if she goes to school at my workplace (a college). She also hasn't answered my messages.

I may be overreacting and I'm known for being a drama queen/depressive vampire bat... but I can't help but wonder if our friendship is growing apart. It would really be horrid if this happened, as she's the best friend I've ever had and for the longest time (5 years). Also the only friend I have in the city... I'd miss our friendship.
I may try to write again as the first message may have gotten trashed by the school email... Hopefully it's not a lost cause.

I could be only thinking of this as recently I've noticed I have few friends (and only one locally) and I feel/am alone a lot of the time.

 

[Tebus]

@mouse: I see where you're coming from. I was in that situation more so in college. It tends to be depressing because you become stuck with your own thoughts, and you may not know if other people share those thoughts with you when you don't have too many friends around. And then, for me at least, all of these uncertainties pop up. :-/ I feel your pain. But like you said to sunjammer, things will get better. Do you have a tough time meeting new people there?

 

[Tranquillian]

NF: On top of the fucking world baby

 

[mousewings]

@Tebus: thank you. I do find it difficult to meet people. I didn't have much in common with my classmates in college and high school's over. I'm also dreadfully shy but am getting over it. Mainly, I don't know many people and have a difficult time opening up to people, starting conversations, and the like. It's been this way for my whole life. A little gloomy: but if my friendship ends, at least I know how to cope with being a loner. It was that way up until my 15th year of this life. I don't like it, but I can live with it.

Best of luck to you as well. I say go for the person who lives in your building to avoid complications, but that's just me.

 

[anonymousnick2001]

NF: Pretty good. Check the Opeth, Seriously O/T, or Gen. Music forums to see why.

 

[Kovenant84]

@Tebus: Yeah, relationships can be a complete fucking theme park ride, no? I've already aired all my dirty laundry on here, so I'm not gonna get into it again, but I just wanted to add something in. Yes, me and my gf have been seeing each other on and off for the past 1.5 years, more on than off really, and the strangest thing always happens to me. We get really pissed at each other, break up, then one of us caves and calls the other, and we wind up growing close again, lather, rinse, repeat. I just get to wondering at times, like after the initial fuzziness of getting back together is over, why exactly we did get back together. It's funny, cause I can never think of a real answer to the question. I don't mean to imply that either of us regrets the action - we just don't know why we took it.
I don't know about stuff in general anymore. Like, I never really believed in fate. But so much had to happen simply leading up to college for the two of us to have ever met, and for some reason, now, no matter how hard we try sometimes, we can't escape each other. It's as if we've got a bungee cord attached between us now, and the more violently we split, the harder we wind up falling into each other again. It's just very odd. I always used to say with mock-seriousness, that we were made for each other, and quote Aristotle about how love is just two halves of a soul finding each other, but the more time we spend around each other, and the more we find that we love each other in spite of the fact that we continuously aggravate the hell out of each other, the more I have to think about life. It's all very odd. Very odd indeed.

~Kov.

 

[mousewings]

NF: Pretty good. Check the Opeth, Seriously O/T, or Gen. Music forums to see why.

Cause an asteriod's gonna crash into the earth? That makes me happy too. Or is it something about that O.C. show?

Your sig is funny.

"Shagrath...I'm Pregnant!"

I should do that... and it's going to be true. Would make me a hypocrite with my beliefs, but oh well. Any publicity is good.

 

[Salamurhaaja]

Fuck this stupid country up it's stupid gay ass.
It's fucking March 21st and we just got 10cm of snow.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! I hate sweden, the
world would be a better place without this snowy hell.

Oh yeah and it's a fucking monday too, woopi-fucking-doo.

 

[rahvin]

wow, you've all been posting gothic novels (length- and content-wise) while i was away for teh night. spiffy. let's see:

@fireangel: indeed there was no trace of complaint in my remark. it might be difficult to take part in a conversation when there's three or four people who are involved in intense post/reply situations, regardless of how informed on the fact one might be. it's also true that most opinions are quite shallow and based on trivia more than confirmed facts (not ours, though ), still even if my intervention doesn't contribute to change anyone's idea, i'm perfectly ok with it. i don't aim to find disciples or draw people to my cause - mostly because i don't have one.

@hyena: i'll reply to your mail in a while, on your other mail address.

@tebus: i'll likewise reply to your pm in a while. but since you don't seem to mind mentioning some things on here, i'll add a couple of comments about what you posted. it seems to me you're talking about rejection on the part of both of these girls a little too soon. i have no doubt that if they were madly in love with you you would have noticed as their behaviour would have been - as it were - revealing. still as long as you don't talk about it to either, you can't say you've been refused. i noticed you bash yourself preemptively trying to become convinced you only want a friend, which is blatantly false. unless the situation is dramatically dire, you don't spend so much time pondering about how close a friendship is and if the other person's emotions can add up to something more.
moreover, while you're jealous of the 2nd girl's possible attraction for your friend, you're sending her all the wrong signals by making it look as if you were only interested in girl #1. she's entitled to think "wtf. [yes. like that. ] tebus just rambles on and on about this silly slut and barely even notices that i'm a girl too, so i might as well use his friend as a proxy and shag him like there's no tomorrow". hmm, well, that maybe was a little blunt, but whatever.
so my suggestion is: come a bit more into the open with either or both these girls. be circumspect with #2 because you don't want your friend to think he has a competitor. i'm not saying this because he's a friend and blah blah and all fluffy feelings: i'm saying it because it doesn't pay to give too much information to the enemy.

@mousie: sorry about your friend. it seems most of us regulars haven't got an exceptionally sparkly social life, and this is unsurprising. still maybe you should consider online acquaintances as a benchmark of how well you can fare in real life if you just want to: in much the same way as you're being appreciated by a number of total strangers you talk to on here, by being yourself, you could probably achieve the same result in real life.

@anonymousnick2001: haven't checked the o/t board today yet, but i will. and welcome.

@kov: the evil part of me feels like telling you that you two keep on falling back on each other because of lack of a better option, and because there is a comfort in going back to the same habits even though they're potentially disruptive. i don't know how much of what you feel for each other is love and how much can be desire to bite back one last time, or feel the adrenaline rush from a fight one last time. i suppose that as long as there's more satisfaction than pain, it's really best if you do go on, though.

nf: healthy, despite everything that's happened of late. today i've come to work (one hour ago. it takes a while to check the board, you know ) on my bike after a long dark cold season spent driving my car. i was glad to notice how my body's still reacting in a positive way to such stimuli: i wasn't short of breath nor my legs felt weak when i arrived even though i haven't been exercising at all through the whole winter. it bodes well for my chances to stand the summer heat and hay fever without dropping dead.
on an unrelated subject, i've come to a couple of conclusions tonight concerning tuska and another short trip, about how i want these things to go (for me: i'm not talking about organization) and how to make them better.
as for the rest, the pain is still there. i'm sorry for hyena, which at least saves me from feeling sorry for myself. there's no one around, in this office, building, block, town, nor even online, and it's definitely getting lonely.

 

[Kovenant84]

@Rahv. Whoops, I seem to have conveyed the wrong impression with my analogy. When we get back together, I meant, things are great, we don't argue, no complaints. I was just trying to say that every time we do have an argument, we find that we can't stay mad at each other for an extended period of time. Granted, your posit that we might just have no other option could be true, but in the longer periods of time we've been apart, she has gone off in search of said option, but found none that could compare to what we have. I don't say this as if to say that I'm necessarily the best guy in the world, and she has no trouble whatsoever attracting guys, but I'm the only one who treats her the way she deserves, and sometimes it takes her looking at the rest of the world to realize that.

I realize that end part may seem like I'm supremely confident that she'll always come back when we split because "I'm teh bestest" or something, but I just mean that her experiences with other guys has shown her that I'm better than she sometimes gives me credit for.

~Kov. (My apologies if that made no sense - insomnia)

 

[rahvin]

@Rahv. Whoops, I seem to have conveyed the wrong impression with my analogy. When we get back together, I meant, things are great, we don't argue, no complaints. I was just trying to say that every time we do have an argument, we find that we can't stay mad at each other for an extended period of time. Granted, your posit that we might just have no other option could be true, but in the longer periods of time we've been apart, she has gone off in search of said option, but found none that could compare to what we have.

yes, i seem to remember you mentioned this before. i didn't want to convey the wrong impression either, as in: you keep on returning to your own thing like losers. it was more like: if something fabulous had come along you wouldn't be here still. then again, i suppose that: (a) this applies to any couple; and (b) like hyena's example sadly shows us, some do stick together even in the very face of a better option.
so i just killed my own theory. oh well. it's just 8:45am after all.

I don't say this as if to say that I'm necessarily the best guy in the world, [...]
I realize that end part may seem like I'm supremely confident that she'll always come back when we split because "I'm teh bestest" or something,

you probably are teh bestest for her, and a number of other people, i'm sure. if you ever need witness to testify you're the best guy in the world in court, you can count on me and - i'm sure - the rest of the board. we'll show her, hah!

 

[Child of Time]

NF: I have been feeling very low intense feelings the last months. The last days have I occasionally felt a mild anxiety because I’m late with the math course I’m taking that is rather important for my uni studies. But except for that, there has hardly even been any joy when meeting my friends, maybe because we know each other so well that it feels like they’re a part of my family, and well, my family doesn’t give me much joy. Concerning my love life, the girl in London is – yeah, it’s obvious - still in London and I don’t expect her to let me know when she gets back. She’s the only one I’m interested in, although I haven’t seen her for almost ten months and not spoken to her in three months.



I’m almost living some kind of recluse-monk life, five floors over the students at this uni where I “work” and I seldom see any people at work except for the electroengineers at this department. When I see my friends, we’re almost as passive as I’m when I’m by myself – we have almost totally lost fancy for nightlife and our activities are playing different sorts of games, watching movies at home or at the cinema or talking walks in the boring villages where we live.



My emotional life seems to have gone into hibernation – where there was sharp anxiety (over school and love), joy (over meeting people I didn’t know very well and knowing Ihave a chance to get to know them without the need to take it to the dating level) boredom, anger, irritation, curiosity, there are now not more than occasional anxiety. When the anxiety is hiding, I just feel numb, like if I was on happy pills.



Maybe this recluse state is good in a way. When the UN has grew tired of the green left fascism I’m practicing as benevolent dictator over the EU, they might place me on an island in the Atlantic ocean as they did with Napoleon. And then I will be used already. :loco: