Not-so-good-and-old "How do you feel" thread

[Wolfman Von Jones]

Pissed

Nick

 

[Malaclypse]

i feel useless, angry, and unable.
i have supposedly three exams in about a week, of which i intend to visit one, for which i have the feeling that i won't pass (again). i just hate this bloody stuff, i can't get it into my head, after reading a few lines i feel like vomiting. and my aim was to pass at least this exam, and if i do not, cancel my studies and work somewhere. but i began to study because work was quite monotone and annoying; so what am i gonna do? fail and fail in all the exams over and over again and pretend it's gonna work out some time after all, or admit defeat and pull back? i'm at a point where i would listen to my stomach since there's no reasonable solution, but my stomach has no idea either. every step i take leads into a dead end street. fuck it.

 

[MagSec4]

Dude!
You're the one that's advised me to focus, get organized, not give up, and get my work done a couple of times; and I've wished at those times that I had your determination and focus.
You're not giving up, what is this?! Go back and try again! >(
Get your German ass off of the internet, set aside all your potential distractions and take it one step at a time.
It CAN be done.
C'mon man!

 

[hyena]

@vc: well, probably you need to think about what you really want to do now. i know it sounds trite and banal, but look at it this way: you approached studying in a mature way, that is to say you don't seem like the 18 y. o. who goes to university only because he wants to put the real world off for some more time. if, even in the presence of motivation, you still are not interested in your chosen subject then probably it is not what you seriously want to do. there's no point in putting yourself through effort on something you do not like. so possibly you want to reconsider the choice of field, or maybe you may even want to go back to working, only in a different sector than the one you previously were in and didn't enjoy. i find that very little comes out of forcing oneself to study, after some point.

 

[wildfyr]

wildfyr: ..I say you need a drink and to stop letting that stuff get to you. It IS hopeless you know

sure. sure. when pigs fly.

 

[Malaclypse]

@mag, hyena: well it's hard to define what i really want. i feel no enthusiasm for my studies right now though the field itself remains interesting theoretically. in fact all i learn is bollox i'll never put to use, and that's what really annoys me. were i to learn a programming language that's actually being used, i would have a lot less problems, but this crap i have to do now is just plain nonsense, and something restricts me from getting that exam done.
maybe it would be better at another uni, maybe not. maybe another subject would be better, but i doubt it. just now i skimmed through available job appliances for the job i learned before studying, and while doing that, i felt that i could hande quite a number of these jobs quite easily, and that brings me back to my situation two years ago: boredom.
but at least, if i would pick up working once again, at least i'd have money and do something not totally non-sense. whereas, if i continue with studies, i have to force myself violently through some of the classes, leaving me quite disturbed and insecure in times like these.
generally i feel that i like to know about everything, in a very broad way, but not exactly deep. this applies to maths, to programming, to drumming and loads of other things. i can't dedicate myself to one subject as much as is sometimes needed at uni, and maybe that's the main problem. i need focus.
speaking of which, here i am, in a bloody internet forum... i need to get something done ffs.

 

[panzerkaetzchen]

@malaclypse: i have been in a very similar situation. i dropped out of my university this past fall because i was burned out and angry and frustrated. i spent some time organizing my thoughts and figuring out what i wanted to do, so now i am preparing to go to another university to study russian. i am very excited about the prospect of returning to school at last with a clear goal in sight. my point is that leaving school temporarily may be overall more beneficial to you than forcing yourself through without really knowing why you're there. at least, such was the case with me.

 

[rahvin]

last night i've had an attack of ophthalmic migraine. the first in the past eleven years.

this is the way it works: without warning, a blind spot appears in my field of vision (center-left in my case), and it increases until about half of my eyesight is impaired: staring, i can't see straight ahead or in a rather wide area to the left of my field of vision. this disturbing situation comes without pain at all, albeit with a tingling sensation that might as well just be me worrying about permanent loss of eyesight.
after about an hour (or, in the worst cases, two) the phenomenon ebbs away and i start seeing normally again. that's when the migraine starts, hovering over my right eye for the rest of the day, or the night. the pain is very loud and i often need painkillers to manage and do something besides lying in bed.

the last time it happened i was sixteen. last february, during my visit in finland, i had the feeling this was likely to start again on an afternoon while i was sitting in a bar getting something to eat, but eventually the feeling subsided and nothing happened in that case. still, the fact that after such a long time this disturbing problem has come back leaves me worried and a bit scared.

 

[lumitalvi]

@rahvin:Oh no.. that sounds very bad. Have you seen a doctor about this? Even though it doesn´t happen often I think you should go and see if they can do something.

 

[rahvin]

@rahvin:Oh no.. that sounds very bad. Have you seen a doctor about this? Even though it doesn´t happen often I think you should go and see if they can do something.

i did back when i was fifteen. they found nothing wrong with my eyes or head separately, and even suggested it could be stress related. for once, i'm sure it's not. this is not insomnia or throwing up blood. basically, nobody knows what it is though. i've heard of others with a similar problem, and they all said that - like with any other kind of migraines - the best you can do is curing the symptoms.

 

[FrostGiant]

I used to get the exact same migranes in high school (8 years now). The spots would kick in, then the tunnel vision. It'd go away and about a half hour later the nasty headache. It'd last for about 4 hours. I would end up trying to sleep through my classes (of course you can't cuz the pain is intense, worst pain I ever endured.). I got in trouble for that until the faculty finally admitted I was having migranes (they didn't believe me cuz according to them only females get them, idiots.) But I soon found that once I started seeing the spots if I dranks a couple beers the headache didn't come. Of course I couldn't crack a sixer in school so that was of little help.

And right now I'm feeling very awake and bored.

 

[rahvin]

thanks for sharing frostgiant. apparently we're both gay and facing an extremely alcoholic future. oh well, could have been worse: imagine if beers triggered it. *shivers*

 

[Miolo]

this is the way it works: without warning, a blind spot appears in my field of vision (center-left in my case), and it increases until about half of my eyesight is impaired: staring, i can't see straight ahead or in a rather wide area to the left of my field of vision. this disturbing situation comes without pain at all, albeit with a tingling sensation that might as well just be me worrying about permanent loss of eyesight.
after about an hour (or, in the worst cases, two) the phenomenon ebbs away and i start seeing normally again. that's when the migraine starts, hovering over my right eye for the rest of the day, or the night. the pain is very loud and i often need painkillers to manage and do something besides lying in bed.

this thing happened to me twice in the last few years. but the partial loss of eyesight never lasted more than 30 minutes and i didn't have any migraine afterwards. i can imagine it's very painful, i'm sorry.

 

[Rusty]

NF: Tired after not much sleep, and ohysically I'm feeling generally average... nothing specifically wrong, just don't feel like I have much energy, bit of a dodgy stomach, slightest of headaches.... nothing bad on its own, but combined they're making me feel a bit pissed off.

 

[Malaclypse]

@malaclypse: i have been in a very similar situation. i dropped out of my university this past fall because i was burned out and angry and frustrated. i spent some time organizing my thoughts and figuring out what i wanted to do, so now i am preparing to go to another university to study russian. i am very excited about the prospect of returning to school at last with a clear goal in sight. my point is that leaving school temporarily may be overall more beneficial to you than forcing yourself through without really knowing why you're there. at least, such was the case with me.

well, i would rather drop out right now than any minute later, but the problem is i really don't have a choice. firstly, since i learned a normal job before, i'm 25 now, and starting over with completely new studies is a bit too late, i think. besides, i wouldn't even know what to study.
then there's the money issue. here, you need to pay for university when you apply for a 2nd field; this wouldn't apply instantly because i didn't finish the first one, but would come back on me after a few semesters.
i just don't have a clear goal, and i've been thinking on it for about a year now.

 

[Qsilver]

last night i've had an attack of ophthalmic migraine. the first in the past eleven years.

this is the way it works: without warning, a blind spot appears in my field of vision (center-left in my case), and it increases until about half of my eyesight is impaired: staring, i can't see straight ahead or in a rather wide area to the left of my field of vision. this disturbing situation comes without pain at all, albeit with a tingling sensation that might as well just be me worrying about permanent loss of eyesight.
after about an hour (or, in the worst cases, two) the phenomenon ebbs away and i start seeing normally again. that's when the migraine starts, hovering over my right eye for the rest of the day, or the night. the pain is very loud and i often need painkillers to manage and do something besides lying in bed.

apparently we're both gay and facing an extremely alcoholic future. oh well, could have been worse: imagine if beers triggered it. *shivers*

I actually had similar thing last night after drinking a few beers. That has never happened to me before so it's quite a coincidence that we had this thing at the same time.
The blind spot was pretty small but massive headache that i got later "compensated" it pretty well.. in the end i managed to kill the headache with two pills and several vodka shots which (surprisingly) resulted in another headache this morning.

 

[i_raise_my_hand_against_it_all]

NF: pretty fucking bored. its a fucking saturday night and im at home infront of the computer......lame yes i realise. theres no point to saying this nobody is here anyway so........yeah.

 

[lumitalvi]

NF: like shit

 

[Rusty]

What's wrong?? PM??

 

[panzerkaetzchen]

@malaclypse: thank you for providing the given circumstances of your situation. as i am still a green n00b, i have much to learn about the other members here. i understand that you are in a terrible bind, and my best wishes are truly with you.

NF: quite content with my cave-dwelling existence. the world outside be damned!