Thinking.
You know what I've found to be one of the hardest things to deal with around conventional people? And this is mainly because I'm never around them. (till more recently). But to find out that people actually have some definition of what they think i should be like or should be doing because of my age. I don't know what the hell? ! I mean, What the fuck?! It always shocks me because I'm not limited in my mind and I never think of these things as a part of me, it's someone else's life, it doesn't even relate to me on any level.....but then there I'm hit in the face with it. I'm usually not confronted with this because people have no idea that I'm the age I am; most 20 year olds talk to me like I'm a peer of 30 maybe, not like I could be their parents even remotely, and I don't find anything strange about this myself, because I feel ageless somehow, but then when people find out, 20 year olds or people my age, their whole attitude changes. I don't know what to say, I hate being suffocated by this....god, just get off my back! I HATE being limited and defined this way. Who's to tell me what I can or can't do, or should or shouldn't be doing because of my age?! What the hell am I supposed to be? I'm just living my life!
Theough I have to say, I haven't lived in the suburbs of middle America for 20 years until three years ago and I think it is something that is in the non-urban mindset. I mean I used to work with people of all ages and guys much younger and older and we all related very easily and no one felt out of range to me, intellectually, experientially, or dating-wise, and I knew I didn't to them either. It's fucking weird out here. (and it must be over 'there' too.)