Not-so-good-and-old "How do you feel" thread
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Rusty
A-HAHAHA!
And it was good.MagSec4 said:Yes...
"..and God said: 'Let there be whiskey', and the skies opened up, and the liquid materialized from the ether, and there was..."
NF: not so happy.
tired of being different and being stared at. tired of people's concept of mexico, and them expecting me to be lazy and messy, and a loud partying dancing latina like mtv says i must be, and all those stupid prejudices. a bit sad of not being part of home anymore, but not belonging fully here, either. lonely and yet with no energy to go out and seek others, specially other international students who are all so cheerful and fakely happy and exhuberant that it makes me sick. tired of sharing a room with my medical student roommate who spends her nights cleaning and bitches about my having a plant (which i only fucking bought to make the place seem less empty), and not being able to just go home and be alone and turn sad music on real loud, and stare at the wall. wanting to write to someone who is so special to me, but restraining myself because i dont want him to see how much i need him. promising myself i wont turn MSN on, and i wont check my emails or answer to family and friends, and i wont check um, and i will stop needing others and feeling the need to be with others, and yet i never can. yes, and fuck you all.
tired of being different and being stared at. tired of people's concept of mexico, and them expecting me to be lazy and messy, and a loud partying dancing latina like mtv says i must be, and all those stupid prejudices. a bit sad of not being part of home anymore, but not belonging fully here, either. lonely and yet with no energy to go out and seek others, specially other international students who are all so cheerful and fakely happy and exhuberant that it makes me sick. tired of sharing a room with my medical student roommate who spends her nights cleaning and bitches about my having a plant (which i only fucking bought to make the place seem less empty), and not being able to just go home and be alone and turn sad music on real loud, and stare at the wall. wanting to write to someone who is so special to me, but restraining myself because i dont want him to see how much i need him. promising myself i wont turn MSN on, and i wont check my emails or answer to family and friends, and i wont check um, and i will stop needing others and feeling the need to be with others, and yet i never can. yes, and fuck you all.
Lolita Vampiriá
Sister of Mercy
I'm sorry for you Violet B. That is just so sad and wrong. Hope you'll feel better..
NF: exhausted
That is just so sad and wrong. Hope you'll feel better..NF: exhausted
thanks . heh, i couldnt resist whinning. its not that bad at all, i do like this place a lot, i think i'll be pretty depressed to leave. and some people have been really really really nice to me. i probably would never even have *found* my university if it werent for zeanra, for example. anyways.
I guess since you're in such a radically different environment, that you have to decide whether you want to go out of your way to discover new experiences or recede back into your memories and nostalgia. It may hurt more, but I suggest you make the best of the time you have there. When you get back to your real home (if your real home it is by that time) you'll look back and won't regret it.
Rusty said:
Hiljainen
why can't we not be sober
Child of Time
Voice of reason
hyena said:you know, the Bible says that on the seventh day God rested, having created the world in the preceeding six days. we can easily assume that, satisfied with His handiwork (and a pretty mighty effort it was, we gotta give Him that), He went out drinking on the saturday night, and was slightly uncomfortable on sunday, hence the rest.
The question is: Where did he go to buy his beer? The serpent's inn? And after such a splendid work with creating the world, shouldn't he have been celebrating in a decent way so that he had to rest two days giving us mortals two days of rest every eight-day week?
Wolfman Von Jones
The trouble with you
@vb: well, aside from mood swings (which are a natural part of any bad feeling, i'm starting to suspect) - yes, moving in a different city, country, social environment is very tough, especially when expectations were high to start with. i think you shouldn't be ashamed of needing people such as your boyfriend, family or friends: need is dangerous only when people take advantage of it, and i hope that said people don't even imagine that they could do that. your qualms are absolutely reasonable: after all, you moved in a place that's very different from your original area, and it's only obvious that you should find difficulties in adjusting. so open up. or at least that's my two knuts.
nf: abysmally melancholic. but i'm going for a workout in a few minutes, then i'll come home and have drinks. let's hope that the whole process helps. i also might have fixed the excess static in my sound system, which would be a good thing if it were real. i need to test it over an extended period of operation, ie after dinner.
nf: abysmally melancholic. but i'm going for a workout in a few minutes, then i'll come home and have drinks. let's hope that the whole process helps. i also might have fixed the excess static in my sound system, which would be a good thing if it were real. i need to test it over an extended period of operation, ie after dinner.
fireangel
Member
Violet Baudelaire:
Even though you might probably think this feeling of being different and being seen as representative for your country would be unique, it´s not and I don´t mean that bad. =) It happens already between countries that are not that_much different, and whenever I go to a neighbourcountry or people from a neighbourcountry come over. I don´t say this is good, I hate it, too, just to assure you that you are not alone. I still don´t know why people think so, though.
Also it might take more time to make friends from the country you live in (apart from UM-people ) than becoming acquaintances with other international students, which is usually rather easy because all are in the same situation. I don´t know how many students from your country are around in the city, but when there are a lot of the same area in a foreign country, they tend to cluster. As I said, things are easy but you probably went there to get to know the country and its inhabitants, which may be more time consuming but also more "interesting".
As for activities, maybe don´t check so much what the internationals are doing, just go to things that interest you because of their topic. Actually it is rather easy to get to talk to people because when you ask them something in english, they always ask you where you´re from and have a nice conversation Or look around in your lessons, what other people are there.
For the living situation, maybe it would be possible that you change to another place where you have your own small room to sleep /work in and only share living room and kitchen with others? Because as far as I know, that is the usual student accomodation. So there would be some more distance to stay sane.
Just keep going on, in a few weeks things might seem very different again
Even though you might probably think this feeling of being different and being seen as representative for your country would be unique, it´s not and I don´t mean that bad. =) It happens already between countries that are not that_much different, and whenever I go to a neighbourcountry or people from a neighbourcountry come over. I don´t say this is good, I hate it, too, just to assure you that you are not alone. I still don´t know why people think so, though.
Also it might take more time to make friends from the country you live in (apart from UM-people
) than becoming acquaintances with other international students, which is usually rather easy because all are in the same situation. I don´t know how many students from your country are around in the city, but when there are a lot of the same area in a foreign country, they tend to cluster. As I said, things are easy but you probably went there to get to know the country and its inhabitants, which may be more time consuming but also more "interesting". As for activities, maybe don´t check so much what the internationals are doing, just go to things that interest you because of their topic. Actually it is rather easy to get to talk to people because when you ask them something in english, they always ask you where you´re from and have a nice conversation
Or look around in your lessons, what other people are there. For the living situation, maybe it would be possible that you change to another place where you have your own small room to sleep /work in and only share living room and kitchen with others? Because as far as I know, that is the usual student accomodation. So there would be some more distance to stay sane.
Just keep going on, in a few weeks things might seem very different again
Child of Time
Voice of reason
Speaking of being new in a city, it's actually quite scary, even if you're in your own country. At the moment I am pretty lonely; not that I had an overwhelmingly active social life up north, but at least when I went tinto town there was always the chance I'd meet someone I knew and stop for a chat, even if it was just for five minutes. That was good. I had people to go out with if I wanted to, and when I was at school I had people to have more or less serious discussions with every day. Here, I'm not in a position to meet anyone at all, so I am alone. Not only that, but I feel alienated by my accent. No matter how hard I try, I feel I speak with an incredibly heavy northern accent and it makes me feel like a farmer who's just come to the city with the mud of the countryside still frsh on my boots. Thank god Gothenburg is near - just the sight of the city makes me feel happy
And thank god for Uppsala And Nemi the train ride home would've been dull without her
And thank god for Uppsala
And Nemi the train ride home would've been dull without her@nl: i experienced your northern accent psychosis (which is a good name for a band) a couple of years ago, but i was sort of lucky because most of my friends here find it funny in a good way or even cute.
anyway, socializing in a new town is, first and foremost, fun. i'm alliterative, watch me fall (fast). the real problem comes with building something stable: i didn't spend 20 years here, so if i want to be with someone who's known me for lots of time i need to import rahvin. not that there is anything wrong with that, mind you, i would import him all the same... but you get my drift.
nf: hungry. actually i'm going to have dinner, which normally solves the problem.
anyway, socializing in a new town is, first and foremost, fun. i'm alliterative, watch me fall (fast). the real problem comes with building something stable: i didn't spend 20 years here, so if i want to be with someone who's known me for lots of time i need to import rahvin. not that there is anything wrong with that, mind you, i would import him all the same... but you get my drift.
nf: hungry. actually i'm going to have dinner, which normally solves the problem.
rahvin
keeper of the flame
argh dammit my post just got erased!!
anyways, thanks for the concern, specially hyena who i think got it pretty right. actually i met up with a neonazi last week which led me to think about some things, but i can't really explain.
as for meeting new people, i don't think that's the problem. meeting a lot of people usually overwhelms me, and i like doing it at my own pace, which is what i'm doing. nor do i shy away from new experiences or activities, so no, basically i think i'm just feeling down for other reasons, and just not having the small stupid things that i'm used to having around to comfort me when i'm down (my cat, my books, my music etc) made it a bit more difficult.
as for accomodation, it is paid by my university so i don't really have any choice as to roommate or location. and i do know another mexican in my university, and we're friendly to each other, but we don't really hang out.
anyways, i usually keep my sad moods to myself, and now i feel embarrassed about posting this here, but thanks a lot for listening anyways
anyways, thanks for the concern, specially hyena who i think got it pretty right. actually i met up with a neonazi last week which led me to think about some things, but i can't really explain.
as for meeting new people, i don't think that's the problem. meeting a lot of people usually overwhelms me, and i like doing it at my own pace, which is what i'm doing. nor do i shy away from new experiences or activities, so no, basically i think i'm just feeling down for other reasons, and just not having the small stupid things that i'm used to having around to comfort me when i'm down (my cat, my books, my music etc) made it a bit more difficult.
as for accomodation, it is paid by my university so i don't really have any choice as to roommate or location. and i do know another mexican in my university, and we're friendly to each other, but we don't really hang out.
anyways, i usually keep my sad moods to myself, and now i feel embarrassed about posting this here, but thanks a lot for listening anyways
nf: like spamming this forum.
nf continued: i shouldn't have had drinks with the food. i find that now i am sorely missing someone who isn't even in a proper relationship with me to start with. xenu, come and take my mobile away.
nf continued: i shouldn't have had drinks with the food. i find that now i am sorely missing someone who isn't even in a proper relationship with me to start with. xenu, come and take my mobile away.
fireangel
Member
rahvin said:
sounds a bit uncomfortable, though
Child of Time: If you mean by adult that I made all the (bad) experiences that still await you then you´re right (moving around, living at strange places, making new friends, being alone, being with lots of people, missing home, organizing the own life, surviving at foreign countries, learning to cook
, tons of nighttime debates in not-my-own kitchen with international and national folks, and pretty much 65% of the things daily mentioned here) Now I have only good times ahead NF: spiffy
@fire: no matter how hard you try to deny it, we have stuff in common.
nf: tired. sleep already.
nf: tired. sleep already.
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