rahvin said:
i'm starting to realize i should learn to release more aggression, instead of letting it bottle up inside. i think this applies to hyena, too. we're too sedated, not spontaneous enough in voicing our malcontent.
yeah, great idea. want me to start right now? :Smug:
i know you mean well and there's thought behind your advice, but as my title says
you have no idea. my experience is that voicing my malcontent either pushes me towards the vulgar and whiny, which in turn makes me ashamed of myself for reasons of style, or it gets me into verbal fights that i never really win when it matters.
my relationship with you is the most significant example of this ever: assume i'm not content about a part of it for some reason. if i'm spontaneous and voice my malcontent, you cut me down with sarcasm i'm not capable of, or you stonewall me. then i get all emotional and angry and i begin to look like a bum rummaging in the trash and not finding anything, losing any trace of statesmanlike demeanor. i end up hating myself for the uneffectiveness and the ugliness of my behavior, and back to square one we go.
this is representative of what happens when i voice my malcontent to people i
really care about (it's unnecessary to go public about any problem with someone you don't really give a shit about) - and what can i do when that is the case? buy a gun on the black market and shoot you? plan unlikely revenge for the year 2043, which incidentally is when i have to retire and i will no doubt need a hobby?
if you were referring to showing malcontent in non-personal situations, such as, say, being abused by a post office employee who refuses to do their duty or, as it often happens to me, being abused by traffic cops who force me to spend hours in the rain... it's more or less the same. kicking and screaming is useless and undignified. the only possibility is gritting one's teeth and wait for the moment when traffic cops won't dare to slow you down. or refer to the judiciary. write complaints and all. this sometimes works, but it's as sedated as it gets.
this said, it's hard to keep the aforementioned malcontent inside, but that's more or less why i drank in the past, and why i workout four times a week now that i've slowed down on the drinking.
of course, all of the above applies to me. you might find yourself successful in getting what you want if you become more vocal (i actually think it's a good strategy for you). but not really me. not now.
nf: quite tired, i think i'm going to sleep in more or less one hour.
he always does things like that, and he can pull of the best arab accent ever. i'm way too naive but it was so nice to hear from back home 
