We are now drinking smirnoff ice as Dave downs ANOTHER red bull and I wonder whether I really want to be in the car with him on the way home. After 10 minutes of being here, who should walk in but an old schoolfriend of ours called Samantha. Sam used to be a typical townie in baggy pants and tank tops who listened to R'n'B and wore hats on backwards. She is now Xantrea, daughter of the night. I'm talking uber goth. From the thigh high boots with heels about 8 inches high, fishnet tights and little black dress, to the fact she's wearing an ankle length heavy velvet coat/cloak and sunglasses in +30 degrees weather and at 10:30 at night, she shouts 'help me, my soul is damned for all time, and oh, don't I look angsty?'
Despite this, we go up and say hi. I'm not quite sure, but for some reason, she doesn't like me much anymore.
Me: Hi Sam, hows it going?
Sam: What's it to you?
Me: Ok...well, I'm good
Sam: Wonderful for you
Me: Someone's moody. Hey, can I try on the sunglasses?
Sam: No
Me: Go on, please?
Sam: Why dontcha fuck off?
Me: You're mean, I think I'd look good in them.
I was not expecting the full armed close-fisted swing as it connected with my jaw and made my head twist to the side. To be honest, I did not appreciate being hit by a jumped up, miserable witch who seemed to have changed her entire being just to fit in with her current boyfriend. 'Charming' I arrogantly sneered at her 'I'm glad to see you've kept SOME of the manners that you used to have' as I walked back to my friends who were watching in bemused horror at the scene. Billy decided that to make me cheer up, we needed more alcohol.
It is now 10:55 and Billy is nowhere to be seen. Me and Dave are talking to the DJ as Luke tries to pull a young goth girl off Steve, who is not only not interested, is also to drunk and terrified to say anything. We convince the DJ to put Ravenous by Arch Enemy on, and as we start nodding our head along to the intro, a voice comes out from nowhere and everywhere at once.
'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!'
Billy races out from behind the bar and throws a shotglass over the counter (which smashes) and dives onto the dancefloor. He is drunk. Very very drunk. On a scale of 1-10, Billy is DRUNK. Before, his dancing was strange. Now, his dancing is like something out of the exorcist. He shakes. He spins. He plays air guitar while he gyrates his hips and screams along to the song, inventing his own words. The whole bar watches as Billy makes a complete ass of himself. We leave him there for two more songs, and Dave says 'How bout me and you pick the car up?'. We go find the car, get in, and put Type O Negative into the CD player. Max out the volume and pull up to the bar, as Billy, Steve and Luke pile in (Mike has walked home already). Dave wheelspins as we head back to the residential district, with Billy winding his window down and sticking his head out the window, screaming and laughing. We finally manage to pull him back into the car and lock his window while he insists that yes, McDonalds is open right now, and it will be a mortal sin if we don't go. In fact, Jesus will personally damn us himself if we don't. We ignore Billy. We drop off Steve, and then its to my place. When he pulls up into the drive, Dave gets a call from his girlfriend asking how his night is going. Billy starts shouting rude and inappropriate comments close to the phone, along the lines of how badly hung Dave is and how she needs a real man. Both myself and Dave hit his arms and legs repeatedly in an attempt to shut him up, but all that happens is he starts to scream and shout 'Dave is a fucking queer! He's slapping me and he likes it' at the top of his voice. Dave ends the call and says he'll talk to me tomorrow as he drives off. My prediction is that Billy will not only be feeling very sick this morning, but he will be bruised from head to toe as well.
This ladies and gentlemen, is the average quiet night out.
Edit: Dave had just reminded me that we saw John Lennon last night. Spooky. He looked like John would have if he was still alive, complete with long hair, beard and round blue sunglasses.
. Yeah Nick has been drinking, and talking in the 3rd person. Hey Mel lets go to The North Pole, we can bring afew hot sexy people from here (Ben, Lu, Michelle, Li, and others).
