NF: Lost and empty. And kind of disappointed in myself, because i promised myself i'd do this when i notice it's time, but now i just can't. I've even dreamt of the damn place almost every night this week, grrr. I know it would be the right thing to do, but i just caaaaan't, because i'd die of boredom, and i'd just be pissed all the time.
Also i'm very annoyed at a fact i can't change, because i can't go back to not existing. Why does a stupid tiny thing like this have to ruin everything..it's so stupid that i've been giggling at it since i found out, but that's just because i'm trying to avoid hurting too much and breaking down. yay me.
I'm also pissed off because i'm not sure if i can go to that damn gig tomorrow, and i'll be so fucking broken that i'll die if this doesn't turn out well. I wish little things like these didn't affect my life so much.
I miss Juha. Why couldn't we just keep the damn promise we made when we were like 5 and sitting on the floor eating grass and playing laivanupotuswhateveritwascalledthe kymmenen leijonaa laivassa ja sitten jotain tapahtuu ja blah blah blah game
OMG I WANT TO PLAY TUIKKIS