Dak
mentat
I drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, eat a ton of yogurt, exercise pretty much daily at this point, and drink at least 3 liters of water most days. It's the cruel fate of God that I have the pooping habits of a recovering bulimic who was addicted to laxatives.
Try a colon cleanse. You might just be so backed up with old shit from your mallgoth days that it's still clogging your system.