@magsec: to cut a very long (and old, guess i've mentioned it here in the past) story short, she's a colleague, friend and now co-author of mine, he's her communist philosopher boyfriend, he likes me a lot, i like him a lot, they're all for free love so apparently it's not a problem, only it is so we don't ever get to have sex because, after all, she would get hurt. we pretend we're all friends and we actually have tons of fun together but there's always something amiss, like i can't hug or kiss him or whatever because his free-love girlfriend is always there and she would not be happy, free love or not... and he never meets with me alone because he lives in a city about 2hrs from here, and he has a kid to take care of from a previous marriage, so like all single fathers he spends the week with her and then travels to see his gf on weekends... i could go on for hours and hours and more hours but i'll just say that this sucks. uh, and he gets guilt trips too every once in a while, so whenever his daughter is not with him i can't even travel to see him because he'd like to have his gf's authorization but it wouldn't come so he doesn't ask and i get the fucking short end of the stick only he writes me stuff like 'you're a delicate, precious utopia to me' and i get all confused and procrastinate the necessary detachment from all these people. aw.