Not-so-good-and-old "How do you feel" thread

[TheFourthHorseman]

None of those flashes are going to make people think much differently than they do...granted, they aren't totally useless, but they still annoy me just because of the formula that all seem to have. The music was unnecessary and distracting. The words at the end were banal. The least it could do is be funny like The Meatrix.
If people really wanted to give a shit about these things I'm sure they (we) could figure it out for themselves, a flash isn't going to change that. Poverty and famine in particular would need much more media coverage, demonstrations and coverage in basic school teaching, among other things.

 

[Schwedentod]

NF: Uninterested in doing anything. Although I would have enough work for my studies...

 

[hyena]

@gav: i'm not up to any dissecting of the problem, just know you're in my thoughts (*hug*). I know what you mean when you mention the fact that she was a very good catch and made you feel like you were somebody - I've been there, and if it is any consolation I've realized over the years that most of the 'good catch' part is in your head because you like her... Anyway, I know the feeling of debasement, inability to love etc., but you'll sure be able to get hurt just as bad with someone else in a couple of years.

 

[Taliesin]

The raft idea sure is good, and Im talking from experience

Im pretty sure you'll find out you're a lot stronger than you think.. you'll be ok

 

[wildfyr]

@hyena: Ok. Uhhmmm. No problemo!

@Hiljainen: <<<< couldn't find that "Praise" thread, so here ya go. :Spin:

 

[DragonLady1]

I also thought I had lost the ability to love deeply, to trust again and its really hard to let it go once u got hurt badly, I didnt let anyone so close since my ex left me last year, it still hurts when thinking about it but there still is light... for the moment I feel there is someone inside my heart, even if I take the risk of being hurt again at the end I dont mind cause its worth the try... I think I cant close myself behind these walls forever, but well it takes time and probably its just blabla u heard all before from other people but whatever, just felt like telling it....

 

[King Chaos]

@Dragonlady: I see myself being in the same possition, but I worry that I'll be massively cautious in future relationships, like not wanting to get too close, not wanting to get too far apart and I'll be real annoying when it comes to suspisions. I honestly think I'm gonna marry heavy metal and just focus on my guitar and my music. A life without a woman is going to be much less complicated for sure. Thankyou for your words, they all help so much.

@Salmy: I'll watch those flash things when I've finished listening to the new Terroriser CD... but if the message is going to be "many people suffer worse than you", I can already say, I know, and I have endless amounts of empathy for those in third world countries drinking their own piss to stay a live.

@Claudia: your wizdom makes sense now even more than ever. I know the good catch thing was in my head, and I'm currently trying to get it out of my head using the methods Daniel talked about (focus on what a bitch she could be). I hope one day I'll be able to look back and see this relationship as good memories, but that time seems so distant. I really feel that there is no need for the opposite sex in my life now. No one could replace my exwoman , and I have too many other problems, it would be difficult to get close to a female again.

@Tal: your legendary rafting escapades are my inspiration All I need is a raft some beer and some water and I'm all set

Thanks so much all of you. You've made this alot better for me. It would have been so hard to cope without you guys to talk to. It really is quite amazing how much better your words can make me feel, and I promise I'll try and be there for you guys whenever you need the words of a semi stranger for a 'pick-me-up'.

Nf: Its been an unrealistic night for sure. I visited my grandma in hospital and they are trying to get her to a home in some place millions of miles away. She's always been local and able to fend for herself. Now it'll be like she's not a part of my life any more. Losing 2 women I love so much in a week is really bullshit. My Gran kept asking about my girlfriend aswell, as I don't want to upset her by telling her that we are no more, so I just tried to answer them.
I spent the afternoon doing intense work out. I jogged 7 miles in the hottest weather we get over here, and it made me feel good. I wanna get all pumped up so I can smash things with one hand ... that's not really why, I want my tshirts to look good on me though and that means getting some meat on my arms; or should I say 'guns'.

 

[DragonLady1]

I honestly think I'm gonna marry heavy metal and just focus on my guitar and my music. A life without a woman is going to be much less complicated for sure.

thats like with my fotography, its a passion.... but well it just happened I met someone and whatever will come out of this its so inspiring for the moment, I enjoy this inspiration a lot, its so good....

wish u the strenght to get over it (well u never get over it completely but one day it will just stop to hurt...), and yeah as said its really good to focus on other things as well, put all the passion, the feelings and the pain in ur music...

 

[Siren]

@KC: I don't know what else to say, everything's been pretty much said already. One thing that's helped me on similar situations is listening to metal. Usually i'd find the (self-)destructive songs i'd need to express myself. Time does heal, and everything will be better in a few days/weeks. Just be strong.. If you need to rant, feel free to do so either here or in private (pm, msn, you name it).

 

[Schwedentod]

@DragonLady: It's always worth a try, I think. Or, by thinking of an old saying: "Wer kämpft, kann verlieren, wer nicht kämpft hat schon verloren..."

@KC: Don't see her as a bitch, but try to find things you didn't like with her. For example, I often made compromises when going out in the evenings while I was with Andrea, now this doesn't happen again. Then, she had some sayings I hated and she said them over and over again. Nice, that I don't have to hear this shit any more... You know, these things.

@Siren: Metal is NOT self-destructive!!!

NF: Lots of work to do, but I'm quite happy with it. Will have to order the tickets for RockHard festival today and this evening there's a lecture in swedish I'm looking forward to. (Now it's out, I'll most probably go to study in sweden - Skövde - from July to December.)

 

[DragonLady1]

thanx... yes its worth... and hey see u at rockhard festival then

 

[TheFourthHorseman]

@DragonLady: It's always worth a try, I think. Or, by thinking of an old saying: "Wer kämpft, kann verlieren, wer nicht kämpft hat schon verloren..."

That's a nice saying.

 

[Schwedentod]

@TFH: Did you understand?!? It says something like "Who fights may loose, who doesn't fight already lost."

NF: Came home right now, no swedish today but therefor this Thursday. A little tired, but there's a party tonight I might be going to...

 

[DragonLady1]

tired and somewhere between very happy (still in a high from the great weekend) and a bit nostalgic (what could be cause I just came across a cd of my ex while looking for some new cds in the shop... )
whatever, overall its quite good
and schwedentod, I also like that saying, its so true

 

[marduk1507]

Today I gave notice to my employer, I quit on June 30th. Its quite a relief I have to say. Just to endure those 2 remaining months and its gonna be swell. :hotjump:

And btw. KC: I felt really sorry when Ive been reading through the things you said about your relationship and especially its end. My wife did the same to me at the beginning of our relationship, she said its no use pretending, etc... It had been quite fresh, so it didnt hurt so much, but I couldnt somehow get her out of my head. I tried to hate her, or make myself hate her, but to no avail. Then I realized I still want her, so I changed my attitude completely. It would sound strange, but I decided to change myself in such a way she woudnt be able to resist, which would make her think of me in a different way. But, isnt that what love is about? But I had to be careful not to make her feel I needed her. I just started doing things Ive never done before, I played theater with a theatre group and she saw the play (it was Dracula, lol, fucking unbelievable!) and every now and then I dropped a small present into her mailbox, or a short poem. But I did all this without saying a word to her, I ignored her completely. After 6 months of this she asked me to meet her. I went out with her then, but I was quiet all the time (usually it was me who did most of the talking), I wanted her to say something, anything. So she started asking me questions about what I was doing, etc., so I got mad and told her what I was really doing all that time and how I felt. I told her things, I called her a stupid spoiled brat, it all just went rolling. When I finished she told me she loved me... And since then weve been together.

The point of all this was to give you a hand in your difficult situation. If the girl is really worth the try (even after what she had done), I would go for it. Maybe all it needs is a small (or a big one, who knows) change and all her boredom will vanish. You said you had your pride, yeah, I understand, but if there still is a tiny little bit of love to her and desire to bring it back, pride wont help you a bit. This is only my opinion, Im not telling you what to do. Take care!

 

[King Chaos]

Today I gave notice to my employer, I quit on June 30th. Its quite a relief I have to say. Just to endure those 2 remaining months and its gonna be swell. :hotjump:

And btw. KC: I felt really sorry when Ive been reading through the things you said about your relationship and especially its end. My wife did the same to me at the beginning of our relationship, she said its no use pretending, etc... It had been quite fresh, so it didnt hurt so much, but I couldnt somehow get her out of my head. I tried to hate her, or make myself hate her, but to no avail. Then I realized I still want her, so I changed my attitude completely. It would sound strange, but I decided to change myself in such a way she woudnt be able to resist, which would make her think of me in a different way. But, isnt that what love is about? But I had to be careful not to make her feel I needed her. I just started doing things Ive never done before, I played theater with a theatre group and she saw the play (it was Dracula, lol, fucking unbelievable!) and every now and then I dropped a small present into her mailbox, or a short poem. But I did all this without saying a word to her, I ignored her completely. After 6 months of this she asked me to meet her. I went out with her then, but I was quiet all the time (usually it was me who did most of the talking), I wanted her to say something, anything. So she started asking me questions about what I was doing, etc., so I got mad and told her what I was really doing all that time and how I felt. I told her things, I called her a stupid spoiled brat, it all just went rolling. When I finished she told me she loved me... And since then weve been together.

The point of all this was to give you a hand in your difficult situation. If the girl is really worth the try (even after what she had done), I would go for it. Maybe all it needs is a small (or a big one, who knows) change and all her boredom will vanish. You said you had your pride, yeah, I understand, but if there still is a tiny little bit of love to her and desire to bring it back, pride wont help you a bit. This is only my opinion, Im not telling you what to do. Take care!

Hey man, that's like fairytale shit. Im happy as fuck for you, but if I try and get in with her again it will destroy me. Who I thought she was: would have been worth fighting for, who she is: isn't worth shit.

But I agree with trying to make oneself irresistable . I'm working out like a muthafuka so next time she sees me she can't help but think "Beefcake". Then I'm gonna punch her in the face and kick her in the cunt. (just kidding about the last part). I'm drunk and offensive after a night of grindcore, so try not to take me too literally.

Thanks to you other guys who've given advice since my last post. @dragonlady: It's inspirational to see that you focused on your art instead of relationships; and you came out such a divine artist. I too shall follow on the same path.

NF: I got a buzz about me. I just saw a local band that I've always distantly supported and they put on the best show I've ever seen. Tangaroa is their name and you will one day all bow down as I did tonight. Their new material almost brought tears to my eyes it was so good. The guitarists have managed to incorporate the most intense sweep picking into what can only be described as a more complex, Deathmetalified Meshuggah. And they are from my town [/said very proudly]. If DT ever come back to the UK, they should invite Tangaroa to support. Shadows fall did (infact they said they'd only play leeds if Tangaroa would support, and then at the end of their set they said tangaroa should have been headlining). None of you will believe my words until you witness it, and even then you won't believe what you witness.

 

[Siren]

NF: Tempted to block a certain webpage with live dates. One more favourite band added to the list of the shows i'm missing. And to think i'll be going in Athens anyway just a fucking week later. :/

i know this is getting tiring, but i have to rant about it somewhere, sowwy

 

[hyena]

@kc: @the idea of working out to beat the shit out of your ex.

nf: shit, honestly. i spent four days with the family and although we all tried our best to be remotely serene there is this cloud of doom and gloom over my dad's head and it's not easy. i met with my former philosophy teacher, who is usually a friendly voice, and she started saying very stupid stuff and calling me a hypocrite. today i got to know that my paper for the european economic association meeting was rejected, which really brings a whole lot of frustration and discontent to me - i thought i had a chance and i also had my eyes set on the young economist award but no, paper ain't worth shit. finally, i got some feedback on a long letter i sent to a friend some weeks ago and it really isn't the feedback i had in mind - i wish i was able to seriously forget myself every once in a while so that i don't ever have any expectations of any kind.

uh, not that there is any chance of anyone saying 'yes', but is any of you traveling to the world youth day in koln? i badly need a crew for my skidding car of doom, and people i don't know already to meet there.

 

[DragonLady1]

@dragonlady: It's inspirational to see that you focused on your art instead of relationships; and you came out such a divine artist. I too shall follow on the same path.

thanx so much
well yes, all these feelings can inspire u too and its helping so much to put all ur passion in art when there is nothing left and as well when u have are in a difficult situation about ur feelings... for the moment I'm still a bit confused and fearfull about certain things that touched my heart lately but photography and writing helps me a lot through this, I can really put so much energy in it... wish u all the best really! just go ahead

@marduk, wow, great story, its really like a movie or fairytale! I had a few situations where also unbelievable things happened but it never had a happy end... I'm hoping for this one now... lets see, I dont give up hope...

 

[DragonLady1]

uh, not that there is any chance of anyone saying 'yes', but is any of you traveling to the world youth day in koln? i badly need a crew for my skidding car of doom, and people i don't know already to meet there.

when is it? a friend and me would need to go to dortmund (what is near there) in mid may to the rockhard festival and still looking for a chance to drive with someone but I guess u would want someone to go with u to the event and not just to give u company while driving no?