TheNewBuild said:
First off, I'm female.. not that I got offended by you calling me "dude", it's just informative.
No need to apologize! This was exactly what I was thinking of. It's about how careful we must be to avoid the hurting. I was avoiding it pretty well during the past 4 years, but then BAM and my guard took a vacation. It took me 2 years to get better the last time I got carried away.
Still, once the guard took vacation and discovered that it's quite a nice experience the "get-the-guard-back" part becomes harder.
Thank you for sharing your point of view... I really mean that!
NF: I feel like I'll never get over this feeling... I know I will just like all the others did sometimes and just like I did before, but this is killing me now.
Mornings and nights are the most difficult to bear.. Especially when I have to go to bed and cover myself with blanket.. Then I start to feel sooo alone, like there's a void beneath me and I'm heading towards it.
Fuck... I'm so pathetic, one more reason to be sad about.
Well now I'm going to have to apologize again for calling you dude.
But yeah I've sort of been in a whirl wind this year as well, with instinctively wishing that something more will develope with a girl i just met a couple months ago. However she has a bf of about 4 months that, I believe, has been long distance the entire time, and doesn't seem too promising oo others that are aware of the situation. However I keep scolding myself for wanting anything to happen at all, because it just isn't cool to mess with another's relationship, so I am keeping my distance. And I really do hope that their relationship works.
I went through a lot of garbage with this type of thing last year, and in the process had a friend tell me in so many words to never talk to him again (he got the girl, and I must have been perceived as a threat.) So that was a little rough, since I have never had anyone despise me before, let alone my best friend in the area. But that's a long story, and the thing I kind of got out of the whole situation was, when those kinds of emotions come into play and people accept them as a justification for action, things get ROYALLY effed up. So now in retrospect, I'm much better at being aware of what's really going on (I think) and sort of acting outside of the emotion. But in those situations, it makes you feel very alone, because a certain part of you becomes very dependent on anothers presence, so that person's absence exponentiates the feeling of loneliness.
In your situation though from what I sense about the way your feeling from your post, your loneliness may be magnified by this kind of thing. And all I can say is you're NOT alone. Obviously it's very important to remember that this kind of stuff happens to everyone continuously and randomly. And if you sort put yourself in another's shoes and take a look at what's going on in your situation, and then look at the similarities of the situations that other people are in, it almost becomes humorous. And when we can rise above the hopelessness like that, that is just about the best feeling there is.
@Malaclypse: I like your idea.
