Miolo
pie king
nf: like i wanna change my university course but i'll never actually do it. this is driving me insane.
Not-so-good-and-old "How do you feel" thread
- Thread starter YaYo
- Start date
- Status
- May 6, 2001
- 4,458
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- 38
NF: GRRRAAHHHHhhhhhh
monday's suck. i work out at a client's place on mondays, which means i have to spend the whole day in professional mode (making sure i word things correctly, etc etc) and get bombarded with requests (which is the whole reason im out there), it stresses me out.. i can only manage so many fake conversations and smiley smiley happy happys... much better to be back in the office with people my own age who i'm able to joke around and slack off with
and worst of all monday is always muffin day at work, so i miss out on my weekly chocolate muffin now!! :/
*yawn*
monday's suck. i work out at a client's place on mondays, which means i have to spend the whole day in professional mode (making sure i word things correctly, etc etc) and get bombarded with requests (which is the whole reason im out there), it stresses me out.. i can only manage so many fake conversations and smiley smiley happy happys... much better to be back in the office with people my own age who i'm able to joke around and slack off with
and worst of all monday is always muffin day at work, so i miss out on my weekly chocolate muffin now!! :/
*yawn*
NF: Mixed feeling. Bad: Didn't do too well on my quiz, didn't call up someone, didn't accomplish much for Sunday. Good: Looking toward Monday (yeah, strange) to help out my cousin to look for a desk at IKEA, expecting a call, getting some stuff accomplished.
nf: it's almost 10 o'clock, i'm not even out the door and anyway the day that expects me at work is awful - i need to solve a research problem which i'm clearly unable to figure out and unfortunately the colleagues who would know what to do are all busy on a very urgent publication. fuck. moreover, the temperature dropped by 10 degrees in a single day, and i hate the cold.
right, let's be brave and try to get something done before the sun sets.
right, let's be brave and try to get something done before the sun sets.
OH NOES!YaYo said:
It's a travesty! NF: Dunno, numb I guess. Kinda shitty day. Got to bed at 2AM for various reasons, but still tossed and turned in bed all night (ie: bugger all sleep). So I was sleepy at work. At least it was a dead slow day. No Mel to make the day go by quicker either. *Sigh*
Strider
Crownless King
as stated by someone else, here in Italy the temperature dropped abruptly this weekend. As an outcome, I feel I'm getting sick... if I know myself, this evening I won't be able to headbang like a madman due to fever
well at least tomorrow I won't be working...
well at least tomorrow I won't be working...
Human Desert
Pirun Morsian
NF: I want to kill Spike so that he can't post with that sig anymore. Other than that i have a headache (why have i started having headaches when i never ever had them before), i'm sad about every bad thing in the world happening to my family, i'm freezing, and i wish my sister would just stop drinking and stop fucking everyone, and go to the doctor before the cancer kills her. I feel lonely and empty and i just want to cry myself to sleep and never wake up, but i can't because i don't feel like crying. I can't cry anymore these days, but i want to, bah.
You left me all alone
into this cold world
Now I'm freezing inside
my emotions are dead
I hate the way
hate the way
I cut my wrist for a better day
In despair I'd scream your name
forever as a sign that I care
You left me all alone
into this cold world
Now I'm freezing inside
my emotions are dead
I hate the way
hate the way
I cut my wrist for a better day
In despair I'd scream your name
forever as a sign that I care
Oooooorrr (as always)...... you could just ask?idari said:
I'm suprised you even saw it actaully, I haven't been posting much on here as of late, and I've seen even less of you. You may want to look at this though.
http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/bonsai.htm
And no, it is NOT the BK site nor does it contain any of the relevant pics.
Anyway, how's this?
Hiljainen
why can't we not be sober
pfff, i just got home after spending the last 5 hours in the cold (wind) with my feet and hair soaked for the rain. i looked like alice cooper. the hairstyle.Strider said:as stated by someone else, here in Italy the temperature dropped abruptly this weekend. As an outcome, I feel I'm getting sick... if I know myself, this evening I won't be able to headbang like a madman due to fever
well at least tomorrow I won't be working...
NF: ok-ish, i had really fun yesterday, stayed from a friend in pavia for the night, drank way too much, and we even went to class today, regardless of the sleepyness. for the rest i'm quite down, and i still haven't heard from another friend so pffff
Child of Time
Voice of reason
nf: excessively hectic. tomorrow i need to:
1. move on with the damn paper, eventhough i'm afraid it won't be done until thursday night.
2. phone the uni to know wherever the fuck i need to send the files for printing.
3. phone the insurance company to know which agency i have to go to in order to pay my premium.
4. remember to write up the contract for the new wave of the survey on short-term expectations on prices and output and send it to the powers that be for authorization (i'm awfully late with that and both the bank and a national financial broadsheet will have my head on a plate if i don't hurry).
5. call a publishing company with the happy question 'where's my money?'
6. go for a workout.
and i'm positive i'm forgetting something.
1. move on with the damn paper, eventhough i'm afraid it won't be done until thursday night.
2. phone the uni to know wherever the fuck i need to send the files for printing.
3. phone the insurance company to know which agency i have to go to in order to pay my premium.
4. remember to write up the contract for the new wave of the survey on short-term expectations on prices and output and send it to the powers that be for authorization (i'm awfully late with that and both the bank and a national financial broadsheet will have my head on a plate if i don't hurry).
5. call a publishing company with the happy question 'where's my money?'
6. go for a workout.
and i'm positive i'm forgetting something.
Gtranquillity
The fear I feel inside...
NF: Saddened and annoyed about yet another e-mail I received from an UM forum member who has been harassing/stalking me for more then 1 year...
For months I asked myself if I should reveal the situation and his identity here on UM, but as I'm not the person to gossip/cause turmoil I just never did. However, meanwhile I think it's time to let all of you know about him and the situation as after all... YOU might be writing to him, and end up in a similar situation I'm in now...
Earlier this week I sent an e-mail to all of La Rocque his accounts:
"Look, some 14 months ago I told you I was no longer interested in communicating with you due to your obsessive behaviour towards me. For weeks I tried to (over)explain myself until I finally realized it was just your way to keep the communication going. I honestly thought you'd give up writing eventually, but apparently you find pleasure and joy in harassing and annoying me.
I DON'T WANT YOUR E-MAILS, E-CARDS, PHONECALLS OR ANYTHING ELSE, EVER AGAIN! And in addition to that... DON'T BID ON MY EBAY AUCTIONS AGAIN, AND STOP SIGNING MY GUESTBOOK!!!
Now, having all that said, I might want to add that ignoring the above used to be, but is no longer without consequences. Most people - on and off UM - are informed about the situation and this e-mail - they just don't know it's you. I would like to keep it this way, however, if I hear something, anything from you ever again, I can assure you I won't be able to resist the temptation to post a "best of" collection of your 227 offensive, fluffy, obnoxious, pathetic e-mails I saved on my PC.
The the choice is all yours, sir..."
He happily chose to ignore it and I'm sure I haven't seen his last e-mail yet - there's shitloads of them - so here we go;
In short, La Rocque and I "met" on Ebay and for about 1 1/2 years we were friends. We traded CD's and we often purchased items for each other in order to save on shipping (i.e. he purchased items for me located in the US where I bought items for him here in Europe). However, at some point I felt his obsessive behaviour towards me was getting way out of hand, and after several arguments about it, I received a very cruel e-mail from him in where he used about everything I ever told him against me. Needless to say I decided the friendship was over, but as he never stopped writing (mainly 'I'm sorrry' and sad stories about his health and such) I, to make a long story short, gave him the benefit of doubt + a second chance. Things went quite well for several months but when history repeated itself last year, I told him I no longer wanted to communicate with him. This is obviously where the stalking began. Now, as it wouldn't be fair to just accuse him, here's a small (well...) collection of e-mails/paragraphs/sentences he sent, so you can make an opinion of your own...
As for the e-mail below... it took some time to decide wheter or not to post it, but considering the content of his other e-mails, I'm convinced it's all/also bullshit, so I don't see a reason holding it back...
For months I asked myself if I should reveal the situation and his identity here on UM, but as I'm not the person to gossip/cause turmoil I just never did. However, meanwhile I think it's time to let all of you know about him and the situation as after all... YOU might be writing to him, and end up in a similar situation I'm in now...
Earlier this week I sent an e-mail to all of La Rocque his accounts:
"Look, some 14 months ago I told you I was no longer interested in communicating with you due to your obsessive behaviour towards me. For weeks I tried to (over)explain myself until I finally realized it was just your way to keep the communication going. I honestly thought you'd give up writing eventually, but apparently you find pleasure and joy in harassing and annoying me.
I DON'T WANT YOUR E-MAILS, E-CARDS, PHONECALLS OR ANYTHING ELSE, EVER AGAIN! And in addition to that... DON'T BID ON MY EBAY AUCTIONS AGAIN, AND STOP SIGNING MY GUESTBOOK!!!
Now, having all that said, I might want to add that ignoring the above used to be, but is no longer without consequences. Most people - on and off UM - are informed about the situation and this e-mail - they just don't know it's you. I would like to keep it this way, however, if I hear something, anything from you ever again, I can assure you I won't be able to resist the temptation to post a "best of" collection of your 227 offensive, fluffy, obnoxious, pathetic e-mails I saved on my PC.
The the choice is all yours, sir..."
He happily chose to ignore it and I'm sure I haven't seen his last e-mail yet - there's shitloads of them - so here we go;
In short, La Rocque and I "met" on Ebay and for about 1 1/2 years we were friends. We traded CD's and we often purchased items for each other in order to save on shipping (i.e. he purchased items for me located in the US where I bought items for him here in Europe). However, at some point I felt his obsessive behaviour towards me was getting way out of hand, and after several arguments about it, I received a very cruel e-mail from him in where he used about everything I ever told him against me. Needless to say I decided the friendship was over, but as he never stopped writing (mainly 'I'm sorrry' and sad stories about his health and such) I, to make a long story short, gave him the benefit of doubt + a second chance. Things went quite well for several months but when history repeated itself last year, I told him I no longer wanted to communicate with him. This is obviously where the stalking began. Now, as it wouldn't be fair to just accuse him, here's a small (well...) collection of e-mails/paragraphs/sentences he sent, so you can make an opinion of your own...
EN btw = Edward Norton, my favourite actor. Not that the e-mail makes more sense now, but anyway...
For the record... I took all auctions down the second I found out the CD's were illegal and returned them to the sender.
As for the e-mail below... it took some time to decide wheter or not to post it, but considering the content of his other e-mails, I'm convinced it's all/also bullshit, so I don't see a reason holding it back...
... cleaning out my closet ...
Hi Diana
I am going to try and explain a connection I made as it has to do with You ... this is not an easy thing to put into words ... I told You something I found out about all of this when I went into my depression and that I would tell You all of this when we meet in person ... as that is not going to happen ... this is the best I can do ...
When I first saw the photo of You in Portugal thought to myself ' Diana sort of looks like Marie Latos ' ... and ' diavata ' (<-- my Ebay username + my name diana van tankeren) is a town in Greece ... there is probably more to do with this but the deep recesses on my mind will not let me have them ...
In the late 1960s I was living in California ... meet a woman, Marie Latos, and as our relationship developed as these things do, She became pregnant with Our Child ... at the time a Child was the furthest thing from my mind ... this may sound shallow but the sex was sharing pleasure with Someone I cared about in 1968/9 ... Even though it was an unexpected surprise I was happy/positive about this ...(Marie's Family was Greek, I don't know if you know but Greeks are very much with Greeks being with Greeks) ... to say Her Parents were unhappy about this is an understatement ... She had turned 17 on March 25 ...We were going to do what was best/right for Our Child ... when Marie was about 5 months with Our Child ... the Latos Family went to Greece to visit ... never to return to the USA or if they did I could not find them ??? only by chance did I bump into someone(Latos family friend) who told me that Marie (and Dave) had a Girl ... this has always been in my thoughts (how could it not) ...
During my counseling my psychiatrist asked the correct questions and what She said made sense to me ... from the beginning of our communication I could not understand my *fixation* with You :-/ my subconscious had [ this is difficult to put into words] made me think that You were my lost Child ... Yes I know You are not but in some way my thinking had done this to me ??? So maybe in some small way You can understand why Your friendship is the most special for me and I know I went overboard at times with my mails(positive,happy,confused,pissed off) and wanting to give/help You with anything I could (I still would) ... I remember when You first wrote me about Your Dad and I tried to explain my thoughts on fatherhood, You just ripped into me (I would guess things are not always 100% positive at times, believe me at times I've been at odds with my parents) ... then when You wrote about asking for a ride to Essen for DT and how You never asked for favors ... that tore me up ... as I would give everything I have to be with My Daughter ... will I ever get a phone call, letter, a knock at the door from Her, not likely ... will I ever hear from You (I would like to but that's up to You) ... other than the Latos,the only people who know about this now are You and Dr.Jones ... if anyone ever asked or even if I brought up about having children I always said no ... too, too, too personal ...
Our Child was born sometime in Jan. 1970 ... I just chose the 1st as Her Birthday ...
Diana, You know more about me than any other person ...
As my life is nearer to the end than the beginning I'm so sad that this is the way things have worked out ... all I have is the dream/hope that someday that Both of You will be part of my life ....
I could have explained this much better, over dinner or walking on the OBT ... of course You did nothing to cause any of this its all in my mind, I'm happy I have some understanding of my feelings about You ...
Hope You don't mind me ending this mail with ...
Take care , Sweet Child of Mine
ONE love ...
Dave West
I've only my dreams
I spread my dreams
under Your feet
tread softly
because
You tread on my dreams
KdG to 90 = Karel de Grotelaan - the street I used to live on.
rahvin
keeper of the flame
@g: that's some heavy stuff. on his part, i mean. against the law here and there, but mostly quite sad.
@diana: i think you did the right thing in posting this on the board. now, whatever might happen, there is testimony of harassment and stalking. good move, i hope he leaves you alone. by the way, if he's american, what is with the capitalized letters in "normal" words? i thought he was german and carried the habit from his native language into english.
rahvin
keeper of the flame
@hyena: he mostly seems to capitalize possessive adjectives and pronouns, while the germans capitalize all nouns. still, i'm at a loss when it comes to why he's got this habit as well.
Gtranquillity
The fear I feel inside...
@hyena & Rahvin: as for the capitalized letters... it's not a habit. He started with this last year when I wrote him the friendship was over
rahvin
keeper of the flame
Hiljainen
why can't we not be sober
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