Not-so-good-and-old "How do you feel" thread

[hyena]

@the lonely people: everytime i am disappointed by someone i start thinking that there's tons of people i don't know, and do something in order to meet a tiny portion of those. there's no reason why strangers should be any better than familiar faces, so i never expect to meet crowds that suit my needs best than those i already hang out with, but i am under the impression that the older you get the quicker you become at singling out people who could possibly be trustworthy/have shared interests/give you intelligent ideas/give you some form of affection. time also lends perspective, in the sense that most stupid mistakes (e. g. thinking that some new person could be a friend for life) don't happen anymore, so one builds a balanced view. what i'm trying to say is: if you think that there's wasteland around you, go out and meet people. chances are that by now you know how to spot someone worthy for you, and you somehow should also be able to forecast how close you can get, for how long and so on. in tiny eddies, enrichment comes: i know that after a couple of weeks of touring i have two new people i will correspond with/maybe visit in their countries/i can work with. of course it's nothing like opening my heart like i used to do as a teen, but my mental repertoire of faces and thoughts is extending and this gives me a sense of opportunity. after all, it's all a question of what one is looking for.

 

[rahvin]

@idari: allow me to get you drunk at tuska. i've just decided it will be fun.

@hyena:

- about that fine piece of ambiguous ass that is your ex: i can only imagine the quantity of hilarious ironic jokes you could have made in the situation. truly, if there is one reason for going through the most painful phases of our life, this is getting a chance to produce some witty scathing humour years later. i think we should put it in a book as the strongest argument against suicide ever.

- about going out and meeting new people: i went out for what is sometimes called my lunch break and i went to get a pizza with andrea, the proud owner of pagan moon. i know this is really not what you meant (you said we were to single out interesting strangers, not satanists), but it still made me relax for about one hour. i still cannot sleep, and my drowsy mind focuses on some very terrible things: hell's hordes and the embodiment of anti-religious evil are a riot in comparison.

for those who are not hyena (i'm sure there must be some ), pagan moon is the name of thee old turinn shoppe where i go buy records - it's the only place in town selling the kind of electronic music i like, and despite the slander the owner is the one who introduced me to it in the first place.

 

[Kovenant84]

Oddly alone and confused. Waiting for my msn buddy list to come alive. Got a phone call from ex, asking for confirmation of our break-up (in my words, "i just really need a break to sort out my life"), and waded in with the whole "if you really loved me this wouldn't be happening" stuff. So we got into this whole big discussion and now I'm all confused and don't know if I made the right decision. I've basically got till the end of the day to change my mind if I'm going to. Only thing that would supercede this would be if my roomate says he would actually date her when she asks him candidly. That may seem kinda weird and twisted, but I've always thought they were a better match personality and shared-interest wise. It could just become a slightly awkward situation if that happens. Anyway, enough whining from me.

 

[hyena]

@rahvin: well, satanism is overrated for sure, but i'm glad you're hanging out with funny people. i sure do. and i envy all of you getting drunk at tuska, although i really am not far behind anyone in the "getting drunk" department today.

 

[Hiljainen]

I went to shop with a friend in milan today and it was very nice, cause i had a lot of fun and there are the cheapest prices around in this period , i bought a dress and some other stuff spending almost nothing.
I got scared when i saw the price of some playboy's panties though, they were very nice and i would have bought them but......70euros for a pair of panties is waaaay too much

*is suddenly aware that she is talking about panties and prices and shopping*

 

[OnyxDragon98]

NF: So fresh and so clean

 

[Human Desert]

@idari: allow me to get you drunk at tuska. i've just decided it will be fun.

I definitely will be drunk at tuska, whether it's your fault or mine :$ What the hell makes you think it's fun though? You should be scared

 

[rahvin]

I definitely will be drunk at tuska, whether it's your fault or mine :$ What the hell makes you think it's fun though? You should be scared

i have problem being scared of scary things.

 

[Naku ist krig]

NF: treated.
I saw a doctor today,it was my ex´s father. He wrote me a prescription of antibiotics. I guess he didn´t have clue what is wrong with me.
btw.. i waited one and half hour to see the doctor and saw him for 5 mins, then i went back home.

 

[Don't Blame Me I Voted Satan]

im feeling relaxd and lazy.

 

[Human Desert]

i have problem being scared of scary things.

Well, i'm not scary really (i don't think?!), but i just might talk a lot and sing and stuff.. Feel free to tell me to shut up and fuck off though

@ Naku: It's always like that with doctors..You have to wait for hours, then you go in there for 5 minutes and he does some basic things he's supposed to do, has no idea what's wrong and sends you home. That's why i never go to doctors..though maybe it's also because nothing's ever wrong with me

 

[Rusty]

Hah, I was a real rebel today, I turned up 5 minutes late for my appointment with the nurse, and took 15 minutes instead of the 10 it was supposed to take.

 

[Human Desert]

Hah, I was a real rebel today, I turned up 5 minutes late for my appointment with the nurse, and took 15 minutes instead of the 10 it was supposed to take.

Not as much of a rebel as Limppu she SMOKED! Tough girl.

I feel like a spammer because i'm posting everywhere atm

 

[Child of Time]

...and also had the important symbolical value of achieving a longtime goal of mine.

Now you made me curious. Wanna tell?

You'd think a person'd get used to loneliness at some point huh..
In my case it's probably mostly my fault since the things I expect of people just don't really occur anymore..
Perhaps they never did ..and I'm just living in my own big world of delusion and naive expectations :/

For about a year ago, before I got unempolyed and lonely, I thought that I really liked loneliness and wanted a lot of it. But that thought came before the loneliness.

I often felt tired with classmates and other acquaintances and I did sometimes even avoid people. People who were - if not like me interested in "weird" things as death metal, political science and ancient history - at least very nice, intelligent and talkative. I didn't feel any intellectual fellowship by some reason. I wanted soulmates. Today I'm glad if I meet someone nice, intelligent and talkative. Even If I only meet a person like that for a short while, it can make my day totally.

Because today I've got common sense enough to appreciate such times. Last autumn I was unemployed for three months, i.e. I had nothing to do, and rarely met anyone at all. I was lonely all days long, relaxing at home, and I felt like shit. The loneliness that I had sometimes even longed for made me feel so bad.

The insight I've gained from my loneliness is that if you find a bunch of soulmates, great, take care of them. But if you don't - there sure will be people around nice enough to hang out with that will do for company. And that's better than loneliness.

I'm tired tonight and now when I've written this I don't even know if it any longer makes any sense as an answer to you, Magsec. But I hope it makes sense in some way. When you (all of you that reads this, not only Magsec) meet someone that's nice, intelligent and talkative, and you're not going to bother about him/her because it's not a soulmate you see, think again. Please. "Friends for life" is almost as rare as "the love of your life". If you have 'em, great. But "friends for a summer/a week/ a day" enrichens your life a lot too.

 

[Kovenant84]

Convulsing in a form of joy. We've got a bit of a contest going here in the office about high scores in a game called Polar Bowler. Previously, the high score had been 392 followed by 393. I just got a 420, after my highest previous was a 367. Hehe. I rule . Except now my friend is pissed because he had the 391 and figured he'd eventually bowl well enough to get a 393 or something. I think he's gonna attempt to kill me...

~kov.

 

[Human Desert]

Now you made me curious. Wanna tell?



For about a year ago, before I got unemplyed and lonely, I thought that I really liked loneliness and wanted a lot of it. But that thought came before the loneliness.

Ah yeah, i know that too. You think you love being alone and are better off alone, but when you suddenly realise that you've pushed everyone away, you notice it's horrible and you're dying of loneliness. Well, it didn't quite happen to me because some people refused to ever leave me, which i appreciate now, but i did try to push everyone away. Though i didn't do it to be alone, i did it to protect them from me. But i also went through the stage where i WANTED to be alone..bleh, crap old times.

 

[Child of Time]

idari: Exactly. Luckily for me, i had my three hardcore friends which I met sometimes. I don't want to think how would have felt if I hadn't had them.

 

[Wolfman Von Jones]

I feel like finding Eddie Van Halen and tearing out his heart.

Nick

 

[Caelestia]

I feel very silly. It was crowded during lunch so my friend and I had to share a table with some people. A friend of theirs turned up and turned out to be very cute and articulate. And he's about my age, studying (maybe graduated) law. He kept glancing over but I pretended not to notice. Maybe there was something funny about my head I wanted to say hi but geez, I'm the shyest (and most useless) dork ever. Sigh. Next time I see him, I promise myself I'll say something.

 

[Human Desert]

I feel very silly. It was crowded during lunch so my friend and I had to share a table with some people. A friend of theirs turned up and turned out to be very cute and articulate. And he's about my age, studying (maybe graduated) law. He kept glancing over but I pretended not to notice. Maybe there was something funny about my head I wanted to say hi but geez, I'm the shyest (and most useless) dork ever. Sigh. Next time I see him, I promise myself I'll say something.

OMG DO IT!! ;D

NF: I must stop overeating [/Lili ]