King Chaos said:

Thanks Idari, those comments have made my day.
We both put infinite amounts of love into the relationship. We're closer now than ever... and there's no need to worry about me being crushed by her, because I can trust her. When she's done stupid things in the past she has always come clean about it straight away. We never hold anything back from one another. After she cheated on me once just over a year ago, (she kissed some random dick head) She saw how Much it affected me and I think she loves me enough to never want to put me through that again.

Good. You guys seem like you're also (best) friends, not just a couple, which is how it should be too. And yeah, she made a mistake over a year ago, if she was going to do it again she probably would've already. (which would be different if she'd had sex with someone else though, because those people never change)
I really hope you two will stay together
NF: I feel sorry for my friend. Poor thing for having a shithead brother. If he's got issues and disagreements with himself it doesn't mean he can take it all out on Allu, stupid cunt.
I also feel sorry for someone else, because he's probably SO lost and has no one who really understands what he's going through, and people think he's to blame for everything even though i'm sure he doesn't mean any harm :/ I really really wish he'll get the help he needs before it's too late.
Hmm..this makes me think of Rudi's suicide again..*sigh*

What was so wrong that he couldn't handle it? Everything was supposed to be fine. Everything seemed fine. He was supposed to be over all the shit he'd been through before :'( There went a great person that everyone loved..
I wonder why i was so tired the whole day today. And the morning was all weird :s I just totally lost all my strength at work and couldn't do anything..I wasn't sleepy, but just somehow sooo tired that i could barely move. I just sat on the window sill staring at the rain for ages. Then i couldn't even be bothered to go to the store after work even though i was supposed to, and now i've got nothing to eat. *starves*
Hmm..I miss Tintti and Ville. Even though i saw Ville today, but not for long. They need the damn VCR so we can watch movies and play games and do fun stuff again..and Jussi too! Damn Jussi for moving to Hyvinkää :/ I don't know whether i should be happy or sad that i mean so much to them.. *sigh*
I want Tintti to know everything that's going on in my head. I want her to know how i'm doing, and i know she wants to know. She worries all the time anyway. Though i've been surprisingly good lately, but i've been thinking a lot for the last couple of days and i kind of wish i could talk to her about it, but i can't.
I also need to talk to someone else about something but i don't want to annoy or pressure him, since he can't be bothered to think about it :/ And i kind of don't want to talk about it anyway.
Damn ruisrock, i want to go there but i don't think Jussi and Anna can take me.
Oh, just realised i'm seeing Heidi again in a week. Hmm..odd. Don't know whether to talk about things or not. I've been really dumb earlier, ignoring some important stuff because i was ashamed or something. There are just some things i don't want to talk about..but should. Oh well *sigh*
I should go to bed soon, unless i starve to death before i get there.