Not-so-good-and-old "How do you feel" thread

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this is what I posted on my (Nevermore) forum on July 20th, 1:30 PM....
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(yes, a kitten died in this room tonight, and I.... sorta hate people today. for a change. :) somebody plucked it's eye out - it was around 2-3 weeks old, thrown on the streeet in my ex neighbourhood. and it was dying of hunger in front our very own eyes. for few hours. then we drove it into the deep forest. metalized said a nice thing: "may the one/s that did this to him die in the same way." :) :) :) )

this night we went to sleep at 4:30.

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now you guess what I feel like.... if you can approximately. I know who can.....
 
Tee said:
this is what I posted on my (Nevermore) forum on July 20th, 1:30 PM....
------------------------------------
(yes, a kitten died in this room tonight, and I.... sorta hate people today. for a change. :) somebody plucked it's eye out - it was around 2-3 weeks old, thrown on the streeet in my ex neighbourhood. and it was dying of hunger in front our very own eyes. for few hours. then we drove it into the deep forest. metalized said a nice thing: "may the one/s that did this to him die in the same way." :) :) :) )

this night we went to sleep at 4:30.

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now you guess what I feel like.... if you can approximately. I know who can.....
Click to expand...
Whooa! Rest in Peace little kitten.. "may the one/s that did this to him die in the same way." (as metalized said!)
 
:erk: that's horrible..once my mother brought home a cat who had both his hind legs broken, and in this season at least once a month she and the people that work with her at the autogrill find abandoned kittens, often dead or dying
 
King Chaos said:
^
Thats fucked up :cry:

Dont let santu read it.


:cry:
Click to expand...
yes, I meant.... she'd understand....
(I have 2 kittens at home, they didn't get the chance to see the small one, they didn't notice it was in another room, but he/she got their pillow with teddy bears to rest upon...)

TFH, I believe in balance in life, that is, I love to believe in it.
I know it can't be the way my husband said it should be. we were both like insane.... but it would please me to know that the person that has caused this/inflicted the pain, would have such suffering at the dying hours (catharsis never did a bad thing to a fallen soul).... and believe me, the pain Nik and I've witnessed was such pain that caused me pull my hair....

that is what should differentiate us from other species, right?..... the sense and reason. of all the species we should be noble. and we're not.

"chaos surrounds this world gone mad...." WD
 
There was a golden dog, a bit like a sheep dog and a bit like a wolf:) A mixed species. Now the municipality officials took her and now she is living at a ownerless dog and cat shelter. But before it, the urchins were raping her every night at the back-gardens of the houses at our street. One day a door keeper of an apartment saw them, (the other door keepers weren't even care as the raping guys were disposed to attack), catched and gave them to the police, then took the dog to the shelter in the morning. Then we learned from the other people that the dog was regularly raped and nobody did anything till that door keeper. The dog was always bleeding from its bottom.
 
no humanity in humans. (OK, too little...)who the fuck came up with that word... hmm.... the worst species ever formed. *shrugs*

thank you, Lasse, for keeping Idari happy. :wave: hang in there, Idari. ;)
 
Tee said:
TFH, I believe in balance in life, that is, I love to believe in it.
I know it can't be the way my husband said it should be. we were both like insane.... but it would please me to know that the person that has caused this/inflicted the pain, would have such suffering at the dying hours (catharsis never did a bad thing to a fallen soul).... and believe me, the pain Nik and I've witnessed was such pain that caused me pull my hair....
Click to expand...

Oh, I'm not saying it couldn't be. I'm just saying it shouldn't be. Maybe I'm in one of my cynical cold moods again, but I'd never value a cat's life to the same level as a human's (i.e. saying "I hope this guy goes through the same that he did to this cat"). People who think like this seem so illogical to me.
Yes, I feel slightly disgusted that people do that too, but statement sounded too unreal to my ears...eyes.
Anyway, I'm sorry you felt so bad in that event.

Tee said:
that is what should differentiate us from other species, right?..... the sense and reason. of all the species we should be noble. and we're not.
Click to expand...

Noble is not really the weird I would go for...also it's not very reasonable in my books to wish for a man's death because of a cat's death, and I don't think it's noble in anyone's books. Except those who live in "an eye for an eye"-world. *shrugs*

Not that I approve animal cruelty in this way. Just wondering with myself about the ethics behind your posts and such.

NF: Feeling pretty good 'cause I've got a ton of awesome new music to listen to. Got a Nick Cave album to pick up tomorrow, looking forward to that...
Otherwise a little stale.

@necromancy: :zombie:
 
glad you'll enjoy Nick Cave. so do I, from time to time.

I don't see a life of a cat and a life of a man as equally valuable. I don't wish his death. he'll die anyway, that's a natural thing. :D though.... well.... it's a common thing in life that what goes around comes around.... energies travelling bullshit... :) I just wish the same pain and suffering. fuck death. that's a release from agony. agony cleans the soul.

cheers. I'm glad you feel good, but I believe your time for the certain amount of opposite feelings will come to. :) head up!
 
idari said:
NF: Er..i just found out that my friend has cancer and is dying...
Click to expand...
:( You didn't tell me this :/ i'm so sorry to hear. Make the best of the time that is left. I think i've told you that i recently found out my grandfather has cancer and he too can't be saved and refused chemotherapy. He moved in downstairs at our house (used to live 3 hours away) so i get to see him a bit now, but it's not an easy thought. At the moment he seems fine, it's hard to look at him and think about what will happen.

And when i was younger one of my friend's sisters died from cancer, it was really sad. The day before a group of 5 or so of us went into the hospital and had a little party for her birthday and then the next day we found out she'd passed away overnight.

Hope you're alright :/
 
NF: Kind of lonely... kind of fighting off feeling depressed about some stuff by wandering around being busy. Quite tired too. Otherwise having fun..

Been to movies, to a few mad finns places and a theme park and such... a few more touristy things over the next few days then i head back home halfway through next week. I'm forever thankful to both spike and ouagadougou for putting up with my presence as they have.. and being just generally really great people and making my trip really good.

Now i need to buy some shirts, trousers and shoes.. but knowing my usual shopping efforts i'll end up getting none of those and buy a cd or two instead :)
 
NF: Like my nose turned into the Niagara falls.
Tho I am very glad this flu only hits me now and not during tuska or anything, I was
feeling a bit odd during Tuska already, but I just thought it was the dust and so on.
Oh well, at least I don't have work until monday and btw, I should have put money
on this, you-know-who was sick for at least 2 weeks during my holiday, what a surprise :D

Anyway, a weekend of rest, reflection and good metal!

I will post my thoughts on Tuska tomorrow when I get back from the high, but for
now, a huge thanks to everyone I met there and to the band!
 
Something that i wrote yesterday,right before UM went down:

I could easily pick a barfight on this subject but i cant really bother, since i am having a horrible headache.
I am not saying that torturing animals is ok or anything like, cause it aint, it is just quite funny how some people cry for one dead being instead of really giving a shit of people for example dying to starvation.
It just seems to be somehow extracool to be on "the side of the animals" against the evil human race, which just sounds quite hypocritical to my ear, since i dont really belive in putting a boarder between "we" and "them".
If want to talk about this more, we got to decide if humans, cats, rabbits and cockroaches are equal and what happens when they go dead.
Soul, anyone?

nf: headache is getting worse. :)

@santtu: Try to manage, altough my words are probably one of the most irrelevant things in this world at the moment.

And back to this day:

NF: fucking horrible, thanks for asking :mad:
First: i woke up at 4:20 am or something and i felt some nasty pain in my left ear. Well, i took a painkiller and tried catchin some sleep.
When i finally woke up for the last time this morning, i realized that i cannot hear properly with my left ear, luckily though the pain was gone at moment.
Then after the breakfast, the pain came back and when i tried to listen to music to get my thoughts on something else, i noticed that actually i am not just hearing sounds sileced but also distorted: i tested my hearing with a piano and i realized that with right ear i hear everything normally but with left ear i hear everything in few half steps lower. Even the speech of my mother sounds like "luke, i am your father".
And my cellphone is fucking with me. It claimed that my security code is wrong although i was 120% sure that it was right, cause i had written it down. fucking Nokia.
sorry for whining, i gotta go and see a doctor.
 
so, the hardest part, how do i feel.
let's skip the question for now. i just drove back from the airport (lina was leaving today) and, in succession, got lost in a shitty town called novara because i was too tired and worn-out to find a highway i've been on at least ten times in the past ten months. i called on the phone sara, federico, and caelestia, because i needed to talk and somehow it felt better to be lost and confused when it didn't seem as if i was completely alone. my air conditioning system decided to fuck up as well, and started pouring about a liter of water per minute under the now empty passenger seat.
in a while, federico should be here to evaluate how tired i actually am and proceed with a recovery process which i somehow fear will include having to lie down.

the tuska interlude was good, as i will repeat many times in the future in the appropriate thread. it gets me very emotional to be appreciated by so many people, i'm not used to it and i feel slightly guilty because it's not as if i've done that much.

now something resumes and something stops. i'm going to get back to work on monday, and i'm slightly nervous for reasons i'll clarify in due time. then in august i have three weeks off, but with the exception of one of those i should be around all the time anyway. i'm trying to focus on seeing human beings in the area, after the bitter-sweet approach to meeting you guys knowing we're not exactly next-door neighbours who can meet up every other night. the only candidates are the aforementioned federico and sara, and possibly the young teacher i've talked about on these pages before. she seems to be quite talkative and open to interaction, even though for now it's just been of the remote kind (mails, text messages). i'm hoping for at least a crop rotation of 3 people, for the autumn.
i have other plans for the fall (i mean the autumn. i'm almost sure i mean the autumn) which shall be revealed, again, in time. some concern dark tranquillity, so, in some way, you.
 
YaYo said:
And when i was younger one of my friend's sisters died from cancer, it was really sad. The day before a group of 5 or so of us went into the hospital and had a little party for her birthday and then the next day we found out she'd passed away overnight.
Click to expand...
I am still crying, and it's been like 8 minutes since I read this YaYo... Again cancer took a young one.. A past memory.. But it is bad...
 
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