Themed Mixtape Game Mk. 2

Who still hasn't rated? @challenge_everything needs to start flogging the cargo.

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Dark Moor - Maid of Orleans
obviously i am the pioneer of dark moor love around these parts, and it's nice to see people actually rating this one even higher than i am (there are a few dark moor songs i'd give 10 but this isn't one of them). it's such a pure version of itself when so much other euro power is sullied by embarrassing attempts at machismo and pseudo-heaviness. this shit knows exactly what it is and commits to it utterly, as honeyed and enveloping as a dreamy fantasy novel. and yes, martin is the fucking greatest. 8.5/10

Stratovarius - Visions (Southern Cross)
i remember this band being fucking terrible, but despite the overproduction and maybe some slightly uncreative melodies this is massive in scope and portent, really feels appropriately large for a nostradamus tune. by the end it reaches vast oceans lachrymose levels of unabashed drama and not a hair on my body can resist it. great pick for the theme and, i can't believe i'm saying this, one of my favourite discoveries in our entire history of mixtape games. 10/10

Reverend Bizarre - Caesar Forever
obviously a monster, gets a small nerf for being a repeat pick. 8.5/10

Running Wild - Calico Jack
every song on this playlist so far feels huge not only in length but in epic larger-than-life storytelling, which is well suited to a figures of history theme. i do think this one drags more than the others though, could probably chop a minute or two in the middle section. it ends with 'bye' and then i immediately get to listen to an arg song, almost like it knows all semblance of good taste is about to sail away across the seven seas. 8/10

Motionless in White - Abigail
not as terrible as i feared, pretty standard vacantly catchy teen melodrama bullshit. enough with the chugging though please. 3/10

Lizzy Borden - Godiva
always makes me laugh to remember she rode through fucking coventry. it'd be bad enough riding through coventry fully clothed. i don't have much to say about this, 'tis a minor classic i know and like well enough. 7.5/10

God Dethroned - The Red Baron
feel like i'm having to massively adjust the volume for every song on this thing. lol who the fuck knows the ninth god dethroned album well enough to select a song from it? it's good stuff as well! 7.5/10

Solefald - Christiania (Edvard Munch Commemoration)
i'm much more receptive to shit like this and arcturus these days, i should revisit them and buy their sperm. munch is an interesting choice for a metal band to address as well. i like it more in concept than execution though, only part that really does anything for me is around the 4 minute mark. the use of piano is really naff lol. 5/10

Artillery - Khomaniac
tried to get into this album on quite a few occasions, never really got there. 6.5/10

Maquahuitl - El Corrido de Gregoria Cortez
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That "it's only music" mentality is for fucking drips... If you look at 50% of the content and simply enjoy that I really can't see how you would find full satisfaction in something if you have ZERO leaning towards what is being said. (apart from a catchy riff/bass line/beat) but that mentality i associate with wet dick radio listeners who like Ed Sheeran NOT people who claim to listen to an art form pretty much heavily based around philosophy/propaganda. As should be quoited/said "If you can't take the heat, get out the kitchen". If you want to listen to "only the music" throw on an Iron Maiden record and head-bang along like some "heavy metal" dullard but letting this art form be watered down by "nice music" types of people and allowing "tolerance" is alien to Black Metal & no Instantglam/Fuckfacebook "warrior" will ever tell me otherwise. 8.5/10

Flotsam and Jetsam - Der Fuhrer
TWELVE million dead? somebody's been consuming a little too much neoliberal jewish media... 6/10

Alcatrazz - Kree Nakoorie
you're basically licking my ballsac by picking this. killer song about a subject matter i love, i would bend over backwards to support it being thematic. 9.5/10

Bathory - Woman of Dark Desires
never been the biggest fan of this one, and it's a repeat pick as well. not that i'm the repeat pick police or anything. okay maybe i am. 6/10
 
Reverend Bizarre - Caesar Forever
obviously a monster, gets a small nerf for being a repeat pick. 8.5/10
Bathory - Woman of Dark Desires
never been the biggest fan of this one, and it's a repeat pick as well. not that i'm the repeat pick police or anything. okay maybe i am. 6/10
Fuck sake. Now I really regret withdrawing my original pick and using Bathory because somebody else already submitted a Reverend Bizarre track.

I'm sorry Jesus I failed you.
 
Dark Moor - Maid of Orleans
It's pretty cool. I like this band but I think they'd be quite forgettable without Elisa C. Martin's singular vocals, as evidenced by the fact that no one gives a shit about the 8 albums Dark Moor released without her.
7.5/10

Stratovarius - Visions (Southern Cross)

I'm a sucker for sweeping, epic songwriting like this even if it is a little clumsy at times. That scream-into motif-into synth choirs-into downward modulation-into spoken word narration-bit at 3:20 has gotta be the crowning achievement of this band's career.
8.5/10

Reverend Bizarre - Caesar Forever

Aw hell yeah. Vilden got me into this album when he submitted this track in the "Ancient History" mixtape years back and it's been one of my most-listened to albums in the intervening years. Love this massive middle finger to any notion of economy in songwriting.
10/10

Running Wild - Calico Jack

Really hard to latch onto anything in this, the riffs all bleed together and the vocals are very one-dimensional and weirdly unintelligible for cleans (shitty youtube doesn't help I'm sure.) The second half is a little more interesting with some very Maiden-y riffs and singalong bits.
4/10

Motionless in White - Abigail

awesome song!!
last night i was totally rocking out this loud till the neighbors called the cops and when the cop came he was rocking out he said he's a big MIW fan and we cranked it up a little louder
0/10

Lizzy Borden - Godiva

Don't think I've heard this before. I always thought these guys were a glam band, but this sounds rather like perfectly respectable USPM? Gotta check this out.
7/10

God Dethroned - The Red Baron

Takes me back to the German campaign in Empire Earth. Richthofen was OP. Could never get past The Somme, the mission where you lose him.
7.5/10

Solefald - Christiania (Edvard Munch Commemoration)

Ambitious stuff with a cool theme, but it doesn't really cohere for me. Maybe with repeated listens I'd change my mind, but some of these sections feel very meandering and the transitions to new parts don't seem to follow logically. I do love the bombastic part around around 1:50, sounds like Hammers of Misfortune playing Therion.
6/10

Artillery - Khomaniac

What is this playlist, even the thrash songs are 7 minutes long! Not complaining however, this owns!
9/10

Maquahuitl - El Corrido de Gregorio Cortez

Even after it settles into being fairly standard black metal it's quite emotive and evocative of a last stand. The gimmicky overture might actually be the least interesting thing about this.
8/10

Flotsam and Jetsam - Der Führer
6/10

Alcatrazz - Kree Nakoorie

Pretty cool song despite Yngwie trying his best to ruin it by interjecting a solo between every single fucking line.
7/10

Bathory - Woman of Dark Desires

I didn't realize this was a repeat pick which I guess says a lot about how memorable I find it.
6.5/10
 
i'm trying to understand how anyone could post on the same board as me for ten years and take that shit seriously. i'm probably one of the more lefty people here lol, not that that's saying much

there, i did it

p.s. check out ad hominem - planet zog: the end, good album
 
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