Fucking fantastic post there man, you've hit the nail right on the head, and it applies to many people.
The common mistake imo is that people approach Black Metal expecting a polished and pristine product that they get from other styles - technicality, crystal clear production etc etc, that's not what Black Metal is about.
For the most part, the so-called Black Metal bands who DO engage this side of music and bring it into Black Metal don't realise that they are actually less respected because they pollute the what Black Metal is about by introducing a "listening for pleasure" product.
Not to sound cliche, but the true Black Metal enthusiast stays away from these attributes (although, there are rare expections like Kataxu for example) because the music is only part of the experience.
Take Darkthrone for instance. 15 years on, and they still sound more Black Metal than 80% of other bands do, with shithouse production, simple bar chords and minimalist punk influenced style overall. Darkthrone is still achieving so much of what so many current day bands are continuously trying to achieve, and they do so with little to no effort.
I hated Darkthrone for a long time. But I have to admit, as much as I did know, that once I embraced Darkthrone, everything else fell into place. They represent the raw foundation of second wave, and post second wave Black Metal. From Culto's glass cutting vocals, Fenriz's garage styled drumming, through to their alarmingly dark and anarchic chord progressions, there simply is no better place to commence an aural study of Black Metal.